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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate dummies !!!

327 replies

EsmeDavina · 11/04/2022 17:07

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 12/04/2022 18:08

I hate people who insert laughing face emojis where nothing funny is being said, but you don’t see me starting threads about it.

Highfivemum · 12/04/2022 18:09

one Of my toddler group mums in my eyes abuses the use of a dummy. I have 6 DC and have never used a Dummy. I believe it is up to parent not the bystanders but this mum is what I call using a dummy as it silences her child !! Yesterday a toddler group her DS who is around 3 1/2 as usually had his dummy in. I don’t think I have ever seen him without he has no extras needs. He came to our table to ask for a drink. He was trying to talk through a dummy. I asked him again what did he want. He spat his dummy out. Said a drink then picked it up and put it back in. Not only unhygienic but why !?? One of the other mums said do you want me to get your mummy to look after that for you. At which his mum who was retunnng from the toilet said. No. Let him keep it. I can’t hear him squeal then !!! Unbelievable

Ericaequites · 12/04/2022 18:10

My sister sucked her thumb until she took up smoking as a teen. You can’t take a thumb away. She does have substance abuse, other mental health conditions, and early dementia, but teasing out these problems is above my pay grade.

AchillesPoirot · 12/04/2022 18:13

@Highfivemum

one Of my toddler group mums in my eyes abuses the use of a dummy. I have 6 DC and have never used a Dummy. I believe it is up to parent not the bystanders but this mum is what I call using a dummy as it silences her child !! Yesterday a toddler group her DS who is around 3 1/2 as usually had his dummy in. I don’t think I have ever seen him without he has no extras needs. He came to our table to ask for a drink. He was trying to talk through a dummy. I asked him again what did he want. He spat his dummy out. Said a drink then picked it up and put it back in. Not only unhygienic but why !?? One of the other mums said do you want me to get your mummy to look after that for you. At which his mum who was retunnng from the toilet said. No. Let him keep it. I can’t hear him squeal then !!! Unbelievable
Dd didn’t have extra needs when she was 3 and a half.

Well. She did but she hadn’t been diagnosed

mogsrus · 12/04/2022 18:24

Agree totally with op. Absolute vile objects. They fall on the floor & then sucked by parent to put back in mouth, uck

AchillesPoirot · 12/04/2022 18:30

@mogsrus

Agree totally with op. Absolute vile objects. They fall on the floor & then sucked by parent to put back in mouth, uck
The vile thing here is the person with no compassion for those with SN for whom they are an aid. Uck.
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/04/2022 18:35

@mogsrus

Agree totally with op. Absolute vile objects. They fall on the floor & then sucked by parent to put back in mouth, uck
So if I used a dummy clip I'm off the hook?
ZellyFitzgerald · 12/04/2022 18:43

I had dummies until I was 5 years old.

I ended up having to have 3 very painful jaw surgeries due to an underdeveloped lower jaw.

Neither of my children were given dummies.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/04/2022 18:46

@ZellyFitzgerald

I had dummies until I was 5 years old.

I ended up having to have 3 very painful jaw surgeries due to an underdeveloped lower jaw.

Neither of my children were given dummies.

And you think an underdeveloped jaw, which is typically genetic or caused by issues in pregnancy, was caused by a dummy?

Exactly how?

BiscuitLover3678 · 12/04/2022 18:48

@ZellyFitzgerald

I had dummies until I was 5 years old.

I ended up having to have 3 very painful jaw surgeries due to an underdeveloped lower jaw.

Neither of my children were given dummies.

My dentist said her son had a dummy until he was 5. She said she knew it was bad as they can sometimes cause an underbite but it’s still unusual.

What you have described sounds like some complete other issue! Did your children sucks their thumbs?

BakewellGin1 · 12/04/2022 18:51

Personally I hate the things and neither DS had one through choice.
However other people using them doesn't bother me at all. Each to their own. I'm sure some people don't agree with some of my choices.

86emz · 12/04/2022 18:54

Why judging? Mind your own kids. Just because someone does it differently to you it doesn't mean they're wrong. Mine don't have dummies.. wouldn't take one. But I would never judge.

intwrferingma · 12/04/2022 19:03

My boy used one to help him sleep. Wanted my girl to use one for the same reason but she wouldn't.
Tell you what tho - I see far fewer dummies around these days than 25 years ago. But far more electronic devices being used by tots to help keep them quiet. Is there a relationship between the (anecdotal) decline of one and rise of the other?
I make that observation without judgment by the way.

Yerroblemom1923 · 12/04/2022 19:16

Don't like them. Dd never had one. I do judge others but wouldn't ever say anything to them, it's their choice. Just not a good look on a newborn or a toddler.

Giraffesandbottoms · 12/04/2022 19:26

Mine don't have dummies.. wouldn't take one. But I would never judge

You wouldn’t be in a position to judge because you tried to use one!

AchillesPoirot · 12/04/2022 19:32

@Yerroblemom1923

Don't like them. Dd never had one. I do judge others but wouldn't ever say anything to them, it's their choice. Just not a good look on a newborn or a toddler.
Not a good look.

Oh well that’s the most important thing. Not the fact that a parent and child might be dealing with something you have no idea about.

chaosrabbitland · 12/04/2022 19:32

opps you would have hated my toddler then , she loved her dummy and i couldnt get it away form her no matter what i tried ,so i just gave up trying

HELLITHURT · 12/04/2022 19:39

@Yerroblemom1923

Don't like them. Dd never had one. I do judge others but wouldn't ever say anything to them, it's their choice. Just not a good look on a newborn or a toddler.
A really bad look is a judgemental parent, judging other parents! Awful vile look, that is!
abeanbaked · 12/04/2022 19:41

I thought OP might be a troll but a name search throws up a thread where she is moaning about her toddler having tantrums whilst out and being difficult in general. You could try a dummy, OP.

86emz · 12/04/2022 19:43

@abeanbaked

I thought OP might be a troll but a name search throws up a thread where she is moaning about her toddler having tantrums whilst out and being difficult in general. You could try a dummy, OP.
😂😂😂👏
HELLITHURT · 12/04/2022 19:45

@abeanbaked

I thought OP might be a troll but a name search throws up a thread where she is moaning about her toddler having tantrums whilst out and being difficult in general. You could try a dummy, OP.
Brilliant!
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/04/2022 19:46

@abeanbaked

I thought OP might be a troll but a name search throws up a thread where she is moaning about her toddler having tantrums whilst out and being difficult in general. You could try a dummy, OP.
I ❤️ you.
AchillesPoirot · 12/04/2022 19:46

@abeanbaked

I thought OP might be a troll but a name search throws up a thread where she is moaning about her toddler having tantrums whilst out and being difficult in general. You could try a dummy, OP.
👏
WildOats5678 · 12/04/2022 20:03

I have no strong opinion on dummies at all, whatever makes a parents life easier and a child more settled. I’ll never understand why people stress so badly about how other people raise their kids 🤷🏼‍♀️

@AchillesPoirot we get it your DD has Autism as do many children including my nephew who I look after weekly. No need to constantly ram it down our throats.

AchillesPoirot · 12/04/2022 20:07

@WildOats5678 believe it or not it’s not just about my dd.

It’s about all those ids who have SN that the op and others are sneering at and saying it’s common and not a good look.

The point is that when dd had her dummy we didn’t know she had any issues she wasn’t diagnosed yet.