I hate dummies !!!

[EsmeDavina]

I have a real hatred for toddlers with dummies! It actually irks me so much.

I totally get there is a time and place for dummies to soothe and settle babies.

My own son had a dummy as a newborn but I took it off him/he gave it up at around 6 months.

I could not bear for him to be one of these children you see with a dummy you cannot part them from.

My friends children his age still have dummies and every photograph you see of them they have this unsightly thing plugged in their mouths.

Even when we are out, they are given the dummy for no reason. Not upset, not settling to sleep just automatically put in the mouth.

I never used to have such a thing about dummies until I became a mum and I don't know why they annoy me so much 😂 !!

I know it's stupid because they aren't my children however does it bother anyone else as much ?

Really it causes you such irritation that you start a threat about it

I would look at myself why the need for validation

You are very judgmental. This doesnt come across very vice atall. I spose you are the perfect mother. I doubt it

@Giraffesandbottoms

“I would be used as a dummy”.

No. The dummy is used as a breast. The breast came first. You would be used for comfort sucking as is natural. You didn’t want to, because it was inconvenient - that’s up to you/none of my business but the phrasing drives me nuts as it implies the breast is an imitation of a dummy which is the wrong way round.

It wasn't that I didn't want to,I love feeding my DC.I would sit for hours- so yes that part was inconvenient. For me a dummy was essential

@Giraffesandbottoms

wish I could do a bigger eye roll your way!

Eye roll away! Doesn’t bother me

No I'm sure it doesn't......

Bet you are a hoot at parties, judging everyone that doesn’t fit into your narrow mindset of what people should be doing/wearing/saying.

I didn't use a dummy with my son, it just wasn't something we needed but I really don't judge people that do. If it works for toddlers and their families then I don't see the problem.

How do those judging know there’s no SN by just looking at these too big kids with dummies?

Really they should go work as pip assessors with those skills.

@Giraffesandbottoms

“I would be used as a dummy”.

No. The dummy is used as a breast. The breast came first. You would be used for comfort sucking as is natural. You didn’t want to, because it was inconvenient - that’s up to you/none of my business but the phrasing drives me nuts as it implies the breast is an imitation of a dummy which is the wrong way round.

I breast feed and my son has a dummy. He's nearly 2. It's not a matter of "not wanting to". My son would suckle away for hours on end of it was up to him which is extremely impractical and uncomfortable for me! So no not really as simple as saying it's a choice.

@Wednesdayafternoon

It depends on your situation - at nearly 2 of course he doesn’t need to comfort suckle and can be told no during the day. I BF DS until he was 3 and second one still going at 2 - it is a lot and I get it but it’s perfectly possible to handle it without sitting down constantly feeding at that age (and using a sling and feeding in the sling or carrier when they are smaller and you’re on the move). I had a particularly hairy time feeding both at night for 8 months as well so I understand, I’m just saying if you didn’t want to use a dummy you didn’t have to (and if you wanted to that’s your prerogative but please don’t make out it’s not possible!)

One of mine was a thumb sucker, one had nothing one had a dummy until she was three.

People think it's perfectly fine to tell a child they've never seen before not to suck their thumb. It must really, really annoy people. No one ever commented on the dummy. I also don't like seeing dummies in toddlers moths, but my DD had other ideas.

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Wednesdayafternoon

It depends on your situation - at nearly 2 of course he doesn’t need to comfort suckle and can be told no during the day. I BF DS until he was 3 and second one still going at 2 - it is a lot and I get it but it’s perfectly possible to handle it without sitting down constantly feeding at that age (and using a sling and feeding in the sling or carrier when they are smaller and you’re on the move). I had a particularly hairy time feeding both at night for 8 months as well so I understand, I’m just saying if you didn’t want to use a dummy you didn’t have to (and if you wanted to that’s your prerogative but please don’t make out it’s not possible!)[/quote]
I disagree, it might be impossible for some people. For me the only way I could carry on BF was to introduce a dummy. Every person's situation is completely different

I would challenge anyone to have dealt with dd without a dummy.

It's not being judgemental

Of course it is, OP.
YABU.
It's absolutely none of your business how long other people's children use dummies.

I find it surprising that people think they can tell if a baby or toddler they see has special needs when most of the time even the parents won't know it.

I have also had people state regarding my child that something isn't necessary/can be avoided and then have found out (sometimes painfully) the error of their ways.

@Giraffesandbottoms I'm not making out it's not possible at all, but you're also making assumptions which are judgey. You said that I could tell my son NO but you don't know anything about my sons comfort habits or communication skills. That might have worked for you but not necessarily works for everyone.

I'm happy for my son to use a dummy as comfort, I'm happy for him to BF for comfort. If someone isn't happy with my healthy happy baby is doing then they can pas off! (Not directed at you @Giraffesandbottoms* !!)

I don't like them. Ds's never had them.

Only one of my 4 children had a dummy. He loved it and would have one in his mouth and one to rub on his nose. He eventually had it for sleeping only when he was about 4, then dropped it with no issues. I would have liked my others to have a dummy too but they were thumb suckers instead. I'm not bothered what other people choose to do.

I strongly suspect the op doesn’t like dummies because she’s a raging snob and thinks they look “common” but she’s not quite brave enough to say that because she would be quite rightly ripped to shreds. But that’s what I think she’s saying without saying as I read between the lines.

@BitOutOfPractice

What doesn’t make sense is that OP is fine with them at a certain age but not at others.

Mine has a dummy for bedtime and occasionally to nap or if she's under the weather or having a grumpy day, thanks for judging though!

It’s silly because dummies have been used throughout history. They became seen negatively during some campaign (not sure what decade but within last 60 years or so) when parents didn’t sterilise them properly and there were issues with children having them so much they weren’t talking. They’re actually a very normal thing though.

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@BitOutOfPractice

What doesn’t make sense is that OP is fine with them at a certain age but not at others.[/quote]
In some ways I think they make more sense later on. It really shouldn’t matter either. A dummy is a dummy.

Judgemental much?

@BiscuitLover3678

It bothers me though because I think it’s part of this parenting ethos/lifestyle ethos people seem to have on here where what’s convenient for you use acceptable, without realising that that’s what’s driving your thought process. Eg :

“I hate dummies except for in small babies because I used one then and it helped me but I stopped at 6m so that’s when it’s not acceptable”
“Having 2 children is totally fine because that’s how many I could afford/handle/wanted to have and any more than that is a disgrace for environmental reasons”
“Shein is a terrible place to shop for ethical reasons but primark is fine because it’s near my house”
“Large cars are a huge eco nightmare and should be laughed at. My household run two cars but that’s ok because they are small/we need them”.

On and on and on with 0 self awareness.

OP wasn't referring to children with SN in her OP so all of your posts have been irrelevant.

How would she know. She's just judging.

I'm with @AchillesPoirot here. I didn't know DD had additional needs when she was a toddler. How can a stranger ascertain who to judge?

The fact is people want SEN to be nice and obvious so they can pity us and judge the other parents. I want neither the pity nor the judgement.