Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

[SewingMum46]

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

I get a few of these a year. It just makes me think I’m lucky to have a nice place to live. Sometimes they amuse me - a recent one for some reason was saying how they had young kids, as if that might encourage me to sell. I have no intention of selling so I just bin the notes.
I guess I would also feel protective over my parents home but you can’t blame people for trying this, it’s not like they knocked on the door or anything.

I think it’s upset you so much because really it’s a reminder that your parents are towards the end of their lives especially with the health issues and one day the house really won’t be theirs anymore. The note was just a prompt.

I can see how the tone of the letter might have annoyed you. It’s one thing saying ‘on the off chance you’re thinking of selling, we wanted to let you know we love your house and would love to buy it’. But quite different if the message sounds more pushy, which is what you seem to be describing. You’re giving these people too much power and headspace though, they clearly don’t have an influence over whether your parents sell their house, so just bin the note and forget it!

You’re very sweet to be concerned and protective but this is so normal nowadays. Don’t read into it except to be chuffed that the house to sell with no effort if they chose to go down that route at some point. House selling is stressful.

Not cheeky at all, they’ve only asked a question and pointed out why they’re asking it. My mother in law had this happen; no interest in moving before but it opened her eyes to the value and she did end up selling to neighbours. Very happy with her decision in the end and saved loads on fees. Seems they were pretty polite about it.

@stayathomer

I think a lot of the people on here would be a bit upset if they got this note, it's more that someone has been actively looking at and assessing a house you're living in, and thinking of ways to get it when it's your home and you never thought of leaving it!

That's such an odd way to look at it. Why would anyone be upset? They probably looked on Zoopla for houses in that area with X number of bedrooms and posted letters through each letter box that fits their brief.

Plenty of people who get these letters think of it as nothing more than a compliment that someone else likes their house, and a small % of people think actually yes we were thinking of selling and avoiding thousands in estate agent fees would be nice so i'll get in touch.

@SewingMum46

It’s the wording really - “Of course we’d pay full market value but avoid estate agents fees”. DPs aren’t particularly aware of the value of the house, they were surprised when they asked me how much it might be worth. It also felt a bit like they were being watched.

Anyone can go on zoopla and get a valuation. It’s not cheeky or entitled. If your parents were struggling it would be a good thing for them to know they had a keen buyer .

Jeez it’s a lovely note. They haven’t tried to steal their house. I think you both need a reality check.

That said I would never but or sell a house without an agent.

This is quite common if you live in a half decent area. There’s no obligation to respond.

It almost feels like they’ve seen them and thought “they’ll be going into a home soon”.

You are completely making stuff up. No one is sitting watching your parents ffs. They have obviously decided they want to move, want a certain area, have scoped out suitable homes and have put feelers out. It’s REALLY common. Your parents house won’t have been the only ones, they have probably put notes in another 20 or so houses. I know people who have bought and sold this way, it’s a luck of the draw whether it suits everyone at the same time. No one is obliged or being forced, if not planning to sell in the immediate or intermediate future then the note goes in the bin and a normal person doesn’t give it a second thought.

I think it’s normal. We’ve had hand-written notes before. I wouldn’t be offended at all. It’s a lovely polite message.

You are overreacting, although I do think this tactic is obnoxious and manipulative. But I'd just think that and immediately move on with my life.

We get variations of this multiple times a year, sometimes handwritten, sometimes photocopied and given to neighbours too. We live in an area which is relatively in demand, in the catchment of an outstanding primary school in a priority area for two excellent grammar schools. Our house is just a 3 bed semi but has 3 reception rooms and 100ft garden and others on the street have extended up. Zoopla will show you this. I'm not sure why I'd be offended, we were lucky to get the house, the previous owners lived here more than 40 years and there's not a high turnover of properties.
During the first year of Covid similar happened to DHs parents, who live rurally their neighbours actually ended up selling to the people, they'd been thinking about moving for family care reasons but weren't on the market and a private sale was quick chain free and avoided estate agent fees. Benefits for all parties.

They’ve been through a lot in the last year and this felt like someone expecting them to downsize.

The people making the offer are not expecting your parents to do anything. I'd interpret the note more as, "if you're thinking of selling we'd be very interested and we won't try to fleece you on the price". They are not stalking your parents or putting pressure on them in anyway. Bin the note if it's that upsetting or hold onto it, the house will be sold at some point and if they're still interested then it might make life a lot easier for you or your parents.

We get these a few times per year - we actually got one the week we moved in!

If I won the lottery I'd definitely be posting a note through a couple of houses I adore in the local area.

I think it's rude and invasive

@Dairymilk50

I think from reading on here maybe it's a little more common than I thought.

My mum had something similar the odd part is that there has never been a for sale sign up. It's presumtious to think that you can buy someone's house that is NOT up for sale.

We all see now houses around... doesn't give you the right to post notes though. The fee part was uncessary also.

Why is it presumptuous to ask? No-one is forcing the owners to do anything, they can simply say no. But if they were thinking of selling, they can save thousands in estate agents' fees, and again there is absolutely nothing wrong with mentioning that fact.

Everyone has a right to post polite notes through people's doors.

It's not cheeky at all. I can't understand why anyone would think it was.

We did this with our current house
Had been looking for ages and couldn’t find anything
Saw this one, put a note through the door asking if they ever considered selling then please could we have first dibs
They called us up and negotiations started from there!
We were not stalkers and we were not ‘watching the house’!

I get why it's touched a nerve given your mum's health, but they haven't done anything wrong. We've also had notes like that through and I took it as a massive compliment.

@Nennypops I just find it forward and pushy. Not to mention impolite personally it's not something I would do. Each to their own.

It’s super common. But one tip: if you choose to sell this way you should always ask for extra above what you think the market value is. There is a value to your buyers in being certain of the house and it not going in the open market and that value should come to you. In similar circumstances my DH negotiated a £50,000 increase in sale price (a long time ago too) for not putting it on the open market. He asked for it and got it without quibble.

@SewingMum46

It’s the wording really - “Of course we’d pay full market value but avoid estate agents fees”. DPs aren’t particularly aware of the value of the house, they were surprised when they asked me how much it might be worth. It also felt a bit like they were being watched.

People walk past houses they like the look of all the time and imagine living there, it's hardly like they are stalking your parents every move. Houses are around a lot longer than the people that live in them, so it will be someone else's home one day whether you like it or not! I think you are taking this way too personally (on behalf of your parents), the couple who wrote to your parents may have wrote to other houses too. Honestly you are way over-thinking this, it is a perfectly normal and not cheeky thing to do. If your parents don't want to sell then just bin the note and get on with your life without giving it another thought.

It’s super common. But one tip: if you choose to sell this way you should always ask for extra above what you think the market value is. There is a value to your buyers in being certain of the house and it not going in the open market and that value should come to you. In similar circumstances my DH negotiated a £50,000 increase in sale price (a long time ago too) for not putting it on the open market. He asked for it and got it without quibble.