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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

585 replies

SewingMum46 · 11/04/2022 07:03

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 12/04/2022 22:41

You are being silly. We've had about 4 similar notes this month, some of which are from estate agents and one from a private buyer. People chance it. We delivered loads of letters like this to houses we were interested in buying, just on the off-chance. We did actually get an offer accepted on thr back of it, although it eventually fell through. It sounds like a perfectly polite letter and I'm not sure what the problem is? If they don't want to sell their house, they don't need to!

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 12/04/2022 22:45

We live on an estate built in around 1996 we've lived here 5 years and have had numerous letters/cards they the door and also 4 sets of people knocking on the door but we rent it so just ignore it all.
If your parents did want to sell it they could get more money and pay out less in estate agency fees
I wouldn't be upset this happens all the time and if their situation changes then it might work out.

Caelan2018 · 12/04/2022 23:02

Your been totally over the top if they were thinking about selling they would be delighted and if was a polite note loads of people do this and yes estates agents fees are high in this climate its also a compliment they love the house ... I doubt the couple are watching the house or your parents 🤔

LoisLane66 · 12/04/2022 23:10

A house is only worth what a buyer will pay so for your parents to ask you, the OP, for your opinion on its worth, is daft. I agree with the majority in saying that it's a common enough way of expressing an interest and avoiding EA fees. I can't see why it would offend you.

TizerorFizz · 12/04/2022 23:15

@SewingMum46
Your parents could see it as a great opportunity and even get a premium price. Our neighbours did exactly this. People desperate to buy so they sold at a very decent amount.

Geezabreak82 · 12/04/2022 23:18

The location tucked away at the end of lane might be exactly why it is attractive to the people who put the note through the door. It sounds like they've been wandering the neighbourhood looking for properties they like the look of. Your parents should just take it as a compliment that they've got a covetable house and move on.

SunscreenCentral · 12/04/2022 23:20

This is how we got our house, but in reverse. H's colleague (that lived in neighborhood, but not pals) was looking to sell, knew H might possibly be interested in buying and dropped him a note.
Lovely house and here we are 20+ years later

GirlOfTudor · 12/04/2022 23:43

How is this cheeky? They've clearly posted these letters to multiple owners of properties they like the look of from the outside in an area they like too. If they don't want to sell - ignore it. If they do - contact them. Don't know why your dad would purposely keep it from your mum though.

me109f · 12/04/2022 23:44

Your DF should let DM know, surely. It may be a con, or it may be a real offer. If it is a really good deal then your parents may be genuinely interested, otherwise it should just be taken as a complement.
You could at least inquire as to the house value by getting a couple of EA estimates and checking on websites which give estimates but also list sale prices for homes around you.

Do make sure your parents are not bullied to sell if they really do not want to.

Pinkfluff76 · 13/04/2022 02:27

I think that’s really cheeky and entitled. It’s like they’ve got money so they think they can get what!! But of course while saving on EA fees as of course rich people want to get what they want but be tight in the process, but also apparently doing you a favour by avoiding fees too! So fucking entitled 😖

Pinkfluff76 · 13/04/2022 02:28

I meant can get what they want

DailySheetWasher · 13/04/2022 03:49

@Pinkfluff76

I think that’s really cheeky and entitled. It’s like they’ve got money so they think they can get what!! But of course while saving on EA fees as of course rich people want to get what they want but be tight in the process, but also apparently doing you a favour by avoiding fees too! So fucking entitled 😖
It's the sellers who pay the EA fees Confused. You've got a bit of a bee in your bonnet about people with money, I think!
Dumm · 13/04/2022 07:05

I’d take it as a compliment! Lots if people do this now and if they don’t want to sell just ignore it.

HELLITHURT · 13/04/2022 07:22

@Pinkfluff76

I think that’s really cheeky and entitled. It’s like they’ve got money so they think they can get what!! But of course while saving on EA fees as of course rich people want to get what they want but be tight in the process, but also apparently doing you a favour by avoiding fees too! So fucking entitled 😖
How exactly are the purchasers avoiding fees? Do explain.

Just because they're rich, doesn't mean they are acting as if they're entitled!

Christ it was a note through the door, not a visit from a local thug to "tell them they're selling"!

Ericaequites · 13/04/2022 07:43

@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.

HELLITHURT · 13/04/2022 07:46

[quote Ericaequites]@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.[/quote]
Happens a lot! Proactive and on MN so many hate estate agents, it's actively encouraged.

SW1amp · 13/04/2022 08:00

[quote Ericaequites]@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.[/quote]
Well no, if you wanted to sell, research suggests you’ll spend on average 6-12 months thinking about it before you put a sign in the front garden

So that’s quite a good window for a potential buyer to get in before it’s openly marketed

If you find that an imposition, you have some issues!

angela99999 · 13/04/2022 08:15

This happened regularly to us in our old house and our current flat. Not cheeky at all, it's an opportunity to save fees and move without the hassle of viewings. Maybe your parents would like to move?
A card like this did eventually encourage us to downsize and it was the right thing to do.

HaggisBurger · 13/04/2022 08:15

[quote Ericaequites]@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.[/quote]
It’s really not…
It’s a polite offer and easily ignored or declined.
Lots of houses are actually for sale without for sale signs (particularly at the higher end of the market in the UK) or without being online. Or as PPs have mentioned, people can be about to sell or considering it and such a letter is welcome.

HaggisBurger · 13/04/2022 08:17

Lolling at “inappropriate imposition” - just like all the other bits of paper through my door offering me things that I don’t have to take up.

angela99999 · 13/04/2022 08:18

[quote Ericaequites]@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.[/quote]
Rubbish! It's no more an imposition than any other flyer through your letterbox. And a good opportunity to consider selling without fees if you want to. If you don't want to sell you bin it.

TizerorFizz · 13/04/2022 09:01

This reply has been deleted

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godmum56 · 13/04/2022 09:05

[quote Ericaequites]@godmum56- it’s very rude for perfect strangers to ask whether they might buy your house. If I wanted to sell, there would be a sign in the yard. It’s an inappropriate imposition.[/quote]
Hilarious

Trixiefirecracker · 13/04/2022 10:11

It’s common practice here and estate agents often do it too. Just ignore if you are not interested. A non-issue!

sweetbellyhigh · 13/04/2022 10:14

🙄