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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky request to buy parents house - AIBU?

585 replies

SewingMum46 · 11/04/2022 07:03

My DPs still live in the same house they built when first married in the 60s. It’s in quite a nice area and because DF is an amazing gardener has a lovely garden which can be seen through the gate. It’s split level so although DM has some mobility problems and is quite frail, it still works for them. They’d only leave if something happened to one of them.
They got a card through the door last week with a message that basically said this couple who live in a very posh house up a very posh street nearby want to downsize because their kids have left home, so please would they consider selling their house to them? It included something along the lines of “Of course we’d pay full market value but it would be good to avoid those annoying estate agents fees”. It was handwritten with the name and address of the couple.
I feel it’s a bit cheeky and tbh on the verge of being entitled. DPs don’t know these people at all - they said in the card they’ve “always thought the house is lovely” and now they’ve decided it would suit them better as their “current property is on 4 floors”.
DF hasn’t shown the card to DM. I told him to ignore it but hold onto it. He’s adamant that if he sold to them it would be above market value, but he doesn’t want to sell - it would be up to DB and me to sell the house after they are gone.
What would you feel if this happened to your DPs? I find it really upsetting.

OP posts:
Youneverknowwhatyourgonnaget · 12/04/2022 18:47

This is how I got the house I live in now. The market was crazy the minute a house went up it was sold. The estate agents would let customers know whose house they was also selling, when a house was going up before it hit the market. I can guarantee I wouldn’t of got my house if it went to market. I knew the area we wanted so I put leaflets through multiple houses. One of them rang and he got 3 quotes on value and we went in the middle. I heard this is quit a common thing to do

Doris86 · 12/04/2022 18:47

@cacboi

When I was pregnant, we lived in a one bed flat. One of the neighbours asked me if we planned to move when the baby had arrived, and said that if we wanted to sell, her niece would be interested in buying. We had the flat valued, deducted what the estate agent fee would be, and sold to her a few months later. It saved us a lot of hassle preparing the flat for viewings etc
Why did you deduct the estate agent fees from the price? Surely that negates the benefit of not using an estate agent for you, and passes the full benefit on to the buyer?
cherish123 · 12/04/2022 18:48

I would not be offended or upset. I would be flattered. Tell him just to ignore it.

LuluBlakey1 · 12/04/2022 18:53

We get notes like this at least once a month in our street. They drive me mad. They are invariably irritating .

'Hello, We're Fliss and Jem and we have two littlies called Poppy (1) and
Hester (5). Fliss is a graphic designer and Jem is an architect. We'd love to buy your lovely house and were wondering, if you are at all interested in selling, if you would consider selling to us.We are chain free and would pay market price with no fuss. We currently live in xxxxx and have sold our house and really, really want to live in this street so we are in the catchment for xxschool for our littlies when they are older. We also like walking, the beach, the playpark, the running club and the tennis courts. We 'd be great neighbours. Why don't you give us a call on........'

I throw them in the bin muttering under my breath.

LittleRedRidingHood187 · 12/04/2022 18:55

We quite often get leaflets through the door asking if we want to sell from local EA's. I don't see this being too different

Ponderingwindow · 12/04/2022 18:56

There is more demand for houses than supply. These letters are quite normal at this point. We don’t have a special house and have received offers to buy multiple times. Our big selling point is being one of the more affordable homes near a desirable school. Sometimes they knock on our door and ask in person. Your parents are likely to have this happen again. You are taking it way too personally.

TheSnowyOwl · 12/04/2022 18:56

I can understand feeling the way you do as you didn’t realise this is now a normal thing to do. It might be worth just remembering their interest in case they don’t move in the meantime and your parents decide to sell. Sometimes people find it a comfort to know a house and garden that has been so loved by someone who means so much to them is going to somebody else who has made it clear they think so highly of the place. It can be a better feeling than selling to someone who bulldozes the garden and changes the house layout.

Londoncallingme · 12/04/2022 18:58

I can’t see anything wrong with it - it’s a compliment. If they happened to be wanting to sell it would have been ideal. If they don’t want to sell they can either tell them no, not yet, never, or ignore it.
No issue here as far as I can see.

daisiesandpeonies · 12/04/2022 18:58

This is really common. We get these all the time. We are in a small and not particularly interesting house - but it's in a pretty old street. We have had notes from downsizers who say they love the street, people moving to be closer to family in this area etc. I just ignore them. Friends in some of the larger or more 'stand out' houses in the area sometimes get targeted notes specifically about their house. They send a short reply saying that they are not planning on selling for a long time.

Ponderingwindow · 12/04/2022 18:59

Forgot to mention, buyers are advised to make their letters personal to convince sellers that they are ideal caretakers for the property. So things like fewer stairs, new stage of life, are to show that they really want to live a life in the house and they aren’t just planning to flip it.

HollaHolla · 12/04/2022 19:02

I get these about once a year. I’m in a very standard 2 bed flat - but in a very good location. It’s not that they’re particularly pricey (standard for the town), but only about 30 flats, so don’t come on the market that often.
I get that it might freak you/your folks out, especially when it’s only ever been their home, and that they designed it - so there’s bound to be a real emotional tie there too. As others have said, probably one to Chuck away, have a chuckle about, and keep an eye to see what the other house sells for! (Im nosy like that!)
Hope that things aren’t too tough for your folks. Sorry to hear your mum is poorly. Take care

Cameleongirl · 12/04/2022 19:03

I’d actually love to get a note like this, I’d view it as a compliment. I’ve never re wives one though.😄

MandyLHarkness · 12/04/2022 19:04

Gosh you really are looking for a problem here. If your parent(s) ever do want to sell their home they have the details of people who are keen buyers & can avoid (1) agents fees - which can be severely thousand pounds & (2) the inconvenience of having strangers tramping through the house during viewings. It’s a total win win IMO🤷🏻‍♀️

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 12/04/2022 19:07

@LuluBlakey1

We get notes like this at least once a month in our street. They drive me mad. They are invariably irritating .

'Hello, We're Fliss and Jem and we have two littlies called Poppy (1) and
Hester (5). Fliss is a graphic designer and Jem is an architect. We'd love to buy your lovely house and were wondering, if you are at all interested in selling, if you would consider selling to us.We are chain free and would pay market price with no fuss. We currently live in xxxxx and have sold our house and really, really want to live in this street so we are in the catchment for xxschool for our littlies when they are older. We also like walking, the beach, the playpark, the running club and the tennis courts. We 'd be great neighbours. Why don't you give us a call on........'

I throw them in the bin muttering under my breath.

What on earth is wrong with that?
alwaysmovingforwards · 12/04/2022 19:07

I’ve had this more than once.

If not selling, just ignore.
Entitled? Upsetting?? Jeez, all’s good in your world if this is all it takes to rattle your cage OP.

Gelasia · 12/04/2022 19:08

If your parents are elderly I think you are quite justified in putting a note through these people's door asking them not to approach again, as your parents are old and find it unsettling feeling that someone is eyeing up their house, especially as they will only move when one of them dies or gets too unwell to live there and they'd rather not be thinking about that until they have to. If it's not a big deal to get the card, as people are insisting, then it's not a big deal to say your parents aren't interested and would prefer not to be asked again.

Ohmygoshyoudontsay · 12/04/2022 19:08

Yabu and looking for drama where there is none. Someone offered to buy your parents' house 😲 but your parents aren't going to sell them it.

WalkingOnSonshine · 12/04/2022 19:09

We live in a new build and had only been living here for 6 months before someone had put a note through to say they would be interested in buying the house if we ever sold.

We’ve had two more in two years. It is a lovely location, and just means that we should be able to sell fairly easily when we do actually advertise.

grownuplefthome · 12/04/2022 19:10

This happened to me when my elderly uncle was in hospital, a man from down the street knocked on the door and asked me to rent the house to him. I told him no and he left. I thought it was very unusual, but obviously not.

JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue · 12/04/2022 19:10

it doesn't happen as much up here in Scotland, although we did get one a few years ago so it does seem to be increasingly a thing. Interestingly, its those who have moved here from England who seem to be doing it (our area attracts some military families).

I agree with the OP that it is rude.

LuluBlakey1 · 12/04/2022 19:11

@ZoyaTheDestroyer 'littlies', 'really, really', lots of lovely/love, twee.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 12/04/2022 19:11

Kirsty and Phil do this on location, location location, we get leaflets from estate agents dropped in our house most weeks, telling us what they’ve sold nearby and how much for.

I think the market is so fast and expensive at the no people want to get ahead of the game

Meandmyhamsterheadagain · 12/04/2022 19:11

We live in a fairly average 3 bed detached chalet bungalow, that we purchased in the last few years. We have had this happen twice in the last 6mths, from different people. One man knocked on the door and said it had curb appeal and he really liked it, and would We consider selling. The second was a couple, who posted a polite letter through door saying if we wanted to sell up to let them know. I took both as harmless and have no intention of moving

RidingMyBike · 12/04/2022 19:12

We got these quite often in our old house - sometimes from estate agents, sometimes from couples or individuals writing personally. Our neighbours were all aged 80s and 90s and got them too. It just means people like the area/road/outside of the house and haven't found what they're looking for via Rightmove etc.

It was suggested we do this when looking for somewhere to buy as there were so few houses on the market. The advice was to personalise and hand deliver like these people have done.

SW1amp · 12/04/2022 19:14

There is a thread a month on here from people doing the same

It’s a weirdly over emotional reaction you’ve had

They aren’t wishing your parents dead or making any sort of judgement on their ability to manage their home

And I would bet a fiver it’s not the only house they sent the letter to