To not allow DH to put a FOOTBALLING GNOME in the garden?

[UnnecessaryFennel]

Just that, really.

I just walked into the kitchen to see this thing grinning at me from the table. It is a gnome in full Crystal Palace strip. DH intends for it to go in our garden. I thought he was joking but no, he's absolutely serious. Apparently it's to celebrate the fact that they've reached the semi-final of some football competition or other.

I have spent £100s on beautiful David Austin roses recently and thought we were going for a cottage garden vibe. Apparently not.

WIBU to LTB?

Do you know anyone going on holiday soon that would be willing to take knob-gnome abroad and leave it there? Far, far away.

Or just paint over the football kit in colours of his most hated team but don’t tell him. See how long it takes for him to notice and blame fans of whatever team it is.

Or LTB, call the police (it’s a crime against taste and offensive to anyone with eyes).

Thats not a gnome - its one of snow whites dwarfs, surely?

Hide it in amongst the david austin roses - good taste and choice by the way OP!

I have 3 gnomes; Gnorman is stone, and Walter and Willie Wheelbarrow are red and blue plastic. I have a memory of being wheeled in my pram past a tall corrugated iron fence, when I asked my Mother what it was she told me, 'Crystal Palace football ground.'

We got a pair of gnomes for our wedding. They currently live in the house. Although I recently saw some drunk camping gnomes that I fancied getting to join them..... Next year you will have 2 gnomes, then 3, then they will take over. It's a gnome conspiracy....

Oh I have impeccable taste @bilbodog, that's never been in question

Get a Chelsea Gnome and insist upon that being there for the inevitable thrashing (assuming Chelsea actually bother to field a team of footballers and not a couple of Year 10s and the cleaning staff).

As soon as there's the prospect of a Chelsea Gnome in your particular corner of SE25/CR grinning at him every time he opens the curtains, he'll soon lose interest in bloody Gnomes.

Although maybe you should be grateful that he hasn't tried to paint the house like the Bulls Head in Laud Street.

You could do an Amelie and give it to a flight attendant friend and get them to send photos from their travels.

@NeverDropYourMooncup I thought a Chelsea gnome was going to be a classier style of gnome until I read the rest of the sentence.

Well this is the thing @NeverDropYourMooncup, they're clearly going to get whupped so the gnome is just going to be a reminder of that painful experience.

You would hate our front garden. We have 20 or so. We live near a Primary school and I often see little faces peering through the fence spotting them all.

This reminds me of when we'd just redecorated our bathroom, Victorian style to match our Victorian fittings, just got it looking beautiful and then as a so-called finishing touch DH brought home a shower curtain featuring a cartoon of a giant cat skateboarding. I don't know what gets into men sometimes!

Log it with 101. Taste that bad has got to be a crime.

Or just go with the theme and buy some awful gnomes of your own. Asda do some truly horrendous giant gnomes. I think they’re doing a queen gnome at the moment for the jubilee.

@bringincrazyback

This reminds me of when we'd just redecorated our bathroom, Victorian style to match our Victorian fittings, just got it looking beautiful and then as a so-called finishing touch DH brought home a shower curtain featuring a cartoon of a giant cat skateboarding. I don't know what gets into men sometimes!

It's the little touches that really pull a decorating scheme together, I find...

[quote TabithaTittlemouse]@NeverDropYourMooncup I thought a Chelsea gnome was going to be a classier style of gnome until I read the rest of the sentence.[/quote]
Oh, there is no such thing as a classier style of Gnome.

One of my exes' Grandmother had thousands of the bloody things set into concrete both the front and back garden. In the house, she had a room dedicated to china dolls. And three walls of her bedroom were floor to ceiling of glass eyed horrors. And glo-in-the-dark clown portraiture on the back of the toilet door.

Lovely woman, but by God, I wouldn't have been surprised when the new people moved in after the house was cleared had discovered the remains of thirty postmen underneath the quickpour 'patio'.

Crystal Palace?

I suppose that's a kind of football.

@Wnikat

#teamfootballgnome

Me too. It's his garden as much as yours.

I've got a Manchester City gnome on my back doorstep.

I’m here to find out what happens if they get to the final.

Just put a big plant in front of it.

My brother retired last month so all his siblings bought him a different gnome in Man Utd strip. He has them on his fire hearth at the moment as he reckons they are more interesting to watch than the real team at the moment. They will be going outside soon though. I wouldn't want loads of gnomes, but I rescued a gnome and a plastic, gaudily painted, budda from my dads garden after he died. I painted the gnome in colours to remind me of my older brother who died a few years back, and it has joined the budda and I smile every time I see them. Let him have his gnome, they are not big. It will be a good talking point, and you can wind him up by moving it about. You could even do an Amelie and hide it then arrange for your friends to send him postcards when they go on holiday, from the gnome. Lots of fun to be had.

Definitely LTB. I almost had to divorce my DH when he wanted to have the large calendar on the wall in the kitchen that was themed to his football team. It did not match my kitchen. Fortunately he came to his senses and he put it on the wall in his office at work instead. What was he thinking ruining my kitchen with his horrible calendar! 😆😆 I completely understand where you're coming from OP! Definite grounds for divorce!

@wishitwasaduvetday

Definitely LTB. I almost had to divorce my DH when he wanted to have the large calendar on the wall in the kitchen that was themed to his football team. It did not match my kitchen. Fortunately he came to his senses and he put it on the wall in his office at work instead. What was he thinking ruining my kitchen with his horrible calendar! 😆😆 I completely understand where you're coming from OP! Definite grounds for divorce!

So it's just your kitchen, not his?

Whack him over the head with it then bury him and the gnome under the roses? Too much maybe...

@bringincrazyback

This reminds me of when we'd just redecorated our bathroom, Victorian style to match our Victorian fittings, just got it looking beautiful and then as a so-called finishing touch DH brought home a shower curtain featuring a cartoon of a giant cat skateboarding. I don't know what gets into men sometimes!

This actually made me laugh out loud!

@lapasion

Log it with 101. Taste that bad has got to be a crime.

Or just go with the theme and buy some awful gnomes of your own. Asda do some truly horrendous giant gnomes. I think they’re doing a queen gnome at the moment for the jubilee.

My friend has loads of gnomes including the Jubilee Queen one. I bought her the corgi to go with it 😂

YANBU. Get this one shop.cpfc.co.uk/giftssouvenirs/gifts-souvenirs/novelty/3962_cpfc-bbq-gnome.html
and the original won't look half so bad.

(is it a gnome in front of a urinal?)