Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mistake made, advice please

140 replies

Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:29

I have already posted on single parents forum but only had two responses and feel really down and need to get it off my chest.

I have been abroad first time as a single parent with DD (6) we had an amazing time until towards end of holiday. Man kissed me in our bar - DD was very upset and the next day she was still upset. She said you are only allowed to kiss daddy (we have been separated 3 years now). I feel sick with guilt over it, she was really really upset and said she doesn’t want a new daddy.

I spoke to her lots the next day that daddy will never ever be replaced he’s the best daddy and he will always be her daddy. She said she was really sad because mummy didn’t want him to kiss her and was going to tell daddy and nanny, so I said she doesn’t need to be sad and tell them because Mummy is ok.

She went to her dads tonight and he messaged and said she ran in and said Mummy has told me I’ve got to keep a secret from you. I didn’t tell her to keep a secret but he’s blown whole thing lit of proportion. Before I went on holiday he had messaged me constantly (even though we have been split up 3 years) saying please tell him who the man is that I’m going on holiday with. It was just me and DD and we had an amazing holiday, but I feel like I’ve proved I’m everything he has always accused me of.

I feel even worse now that she thinks it was a secret, when it wasent. Have I been really unreasonable? Please don’t be too harsh as already feeling really hurt that I’ve let DD down.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 07/04/2022 21:31

You had a snog with some random in front of your 6yo daughter ? Hmm

TruffleShuffles · 07/04/2022 21:33

I just cannot understand how you could have got into a situation where you kissed a random man in a bar when you were on holiday with your six year old daughter.

Dumblebum · 07/04/2022 21:34

What do you mean a man kissed you? That sounds like you had no part of it? Do you mean you took your child on holiday and started snogging a random in front of her?

BertieQueen · 07/04/2022 21:35

Are we talking a full on kiss or just a peck on the cheek?😬

Had you met the man that evening or had you met him during your holiday and spent a lot of time with him?

Pumperthepumper · 07/04/2022 21:36

Was it an attack?

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:36

I didn’t have a snog. There were lots of families we were all chatting and drinking, my DD was playing with his girls and as we were going he kissed me.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 07/04/2022 21:37

Attack was probably a bit dramatic, did you want him to kiss you?

HellToTheNope · 07/04/2022 21:37

You kissed a stranger in front of your daughter? Confused

ManateeFair · 07/04/2022 21:37

What the hell were you doing snogging in a bar with your six-year-old present?? Bloody hell.

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:37

It was not an attack, he had been talking to us along with lots of other families for a couple of days.

OP posts:
Dumblebum · 07/04/2022 21:37

It still doesn’t make much sense op. He just briefly kissed your cheek leaving? And your child had that reaction? Is this what you’re saying?

Pumperthepumper · 07/04/2022 21:38

Where did he kiss you?

BertieQueen · 07/04/2022 21:38

@Mam576

I didn’t have a snog. There were lots of families we were all chatting and drinking, my DD was playing with his girls and as we were going he kissed me.
So was he a single dad as well on holiday with his children?

You say lots of families about did he kiss everyone goodbye?

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:38

He didn’t kiss my cheek he kissed me on the lips

OP posts:
Turningpurple · 07/04/2022 21:38

He kissed you in the cheek? That's how people usually kiss goodbye.

Why didn't you just tell her that's what some people do?

HellToTheNope · 07/04/2022 21:39

@Mam576

He didn’t kiss my cheek he kissed me on the lips
Why did you allow that??
Turningpurple · 07/04/2022 21:39

@Mam576

He didn’t kiss my cheek he kissed me on the lips
And you didn't reciprocate and showed how unhappy you were?
Original poster
Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:39

I didn’t think he was going to do that he was very drunk

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 07/04/2022 21:39

Did you consent or not?

HellToTheNope · 07/04/2022 21:40

@Mam576

I didn’t think he was going to do that he was very drunk
And you pull away, FFS.
Dumblebum · 07/04/2022 21:40

It does sound like your child thought you spent a lot of time with this man and then there was inappropriate kissing in front of her, but I’m sure you’d not do that. No one would. I think you need to focus on why she’s had such an extreme reaction and why she thinks you wanted her to lie and keep it a secret.

Original poster
Mam576 · 07/04/2022 21:40

I kind of just laughed it off Confused because I was taken back by it. Then when DD got upset about it the next day I got upset and told her that I was also sad about it

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 07/04/2022 21:41

I don’t think you’ll get much sense here unless you explain a bit better. Peck on the cheek, not unreasonable and you maybe need to explain to your daughter that friends kiss each other all the time just like a hug and that it doesn’t mean they want to get married. She’s old enough to understand. Snogging I am not surprised she’s a bit all over the place.

picklemewalnuts · 07/04/2022 21:41

Your ex's reaction suggests he may have wound your daughter up already.

Dumblebum · 07/04/2022 21:42

@Mam576

He didn’t kiss my cheek he kissed me on the lips
What? Did you reciprocate? Seem happy? Or show how upset you were with the assault? Were you also drunk?

I think it’s down to why your child thinks you were on holiday with this man and why she thinks you wanted her to lie.

Swipe left for the next trending thread