My sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding. Reasonable or unreasonable?

[Purple1998]

Hello! I just want some opinions.

Basically I'm a bridesmaid for my sister next year, I wear dreadlock extensions, they're quite expensive and they need fitting in every few months. My sister has said to me she or should I say "told" me that I'm not having dreads in for her wedding... granted I won't because it's her day, but my boyfriend thinks she's out of order because he thinks she's basically telling me to not be myself. What do you think? He recons I should say something but I don't think I want to cause agro and would rather her just be happy on her day, not that my hair should make her otherwise... she was a bit cheeky about it because I did tell her that they're expensive and was hoping she wouldn't bring them up, but she replied with "money can't buy taste"

Do you think she's being reasonable?

@NannyKrampus

'Dreadlocks' were worn in ancient Greece, going back further than earliest known examples in Africa. No ethnicity 'owns' this hairstyle! I do not personally like the look but my taste is my personal business and it is outrageous to demand that someone changed their style for a wedding.

Nobody owns dreadlocks.. however OP stating its apart of her well no it is not it doesn't represent her ethnicity or background in any way it's merely vanity. Her natural hair is English. Ridiculous it's like the whole excessive lip filler thing walking round like Pete burns and someone saying it's apart of them okay...

While they’re not to my taste, I agree that your sister has no right to mould you into her style to suit her Instagram photos. The compromise could be getting them arranged in a neat updo. Are you a bridesmaid?

Sorry! Just saw that you were. Any hairdresser worth their salt should know how to arrange the dreads into a stylish updo. I imagine that you need to have the scalp occasionally tidied up when you wear these extensions? (Honestly no idea) You could have matching flowers woven into your hair. Would be gorgeous.

She's BVU, it's a wedding, not bloody crufts

Of course she is being unreasonable. I really hope you don't oblige.

@WTF475878237NC

But how far is a fake hair extension ‘yourself’?

^ this. She's asking you to be your actual self for a day without the fake hair.

I wonder how many women that agree with your comment here would happily accept being told to go to a wedding without a lick of make up on and be their "actual self".

Crufts

I think it's kind of you to adapt your look for your sister on her wedding day. I can understand your bf wanting to protect you, but if you are happy to change your hair for your sister then it's not really up to him.

Your sisters comment about money not being able to buy taste, though, is supremely bitchy and would bother me more.

I love dreadlocks. My SDD has them and she looks awesome.

But even if I didn't, I think everyone wears their hair how they feel the most comfortable and you need to be happy with how you look. It must be such a big part of your identity. You look beautiful op and really suit them.

@DropYourSword"But how far is a fake hair extension ‘yourself’?

^ this. She's asking you to be your actual self for a day without the fake hair.

I wonder how many women that agree with your comment here would happily accept being told to go to a wedding without a lick of make up on and be their "actual self"."

False equivalency.

The equivalent is being asked to swap her preferred Bowie flash of red and blue lightening bolt make up which she feels is her 'actual self' for a wedding make up of her choice...you know, foundation, blusher, mascara, gloss..... Not no make up at all.

I think as a bridesmaid you are not really there to 'be yourself'.

I have known brides ask a lot of bridesmaids, one made them all matching jewelry, necklace and ring.

Another insisted on the use of sun beds / spray tans they were all the same shade.

Sorry but your dreadlocks look awful! They look really silly on white people in general and yours are different colours at the root and it just doesn’t work, Hair up or down. understand your sister.

Yes it is. That's right Egyptian people are ethnic... the surrounding Countries on a map such as Somalia are also ethnic just like the origin of dread locks that was my main point. Asian people are also ethnic too.

Ummmm everybody is ethnic, you know that right?

OP - I think as a white person who wears dreadlock extensions you should educate yourself a little better about what cultural appropriation is and not get so defensive. They aren't even your natural hair! You couldn't be a clearer case of cultural appropriation if you tried. Not saying that to be rude, but if you want to wear that style, be honest with yourself about it.
Personally I think no she shouldn't ask you to change your style as that's rude. But I do think pretty as you are you'd look better without the fake dreadlocks.

Now I've seen your photos OP I think you look lovely. Your sister is BU, and I'm afraid if my sister, if I had one, couldn't accept me as I am then I would be politely declining the BM role (and less politely telling her that she is sadly lacking in manners for her rude remark about taste).

Who wants boring wedding photos with everyone looking like clones?

I would ask her what specifically she doesn't like. If it's the two tone effect, you could disguise it for the day. Wedding hairdressers have lots of tricks. Hair up, some sort of jeweled cap over the bun bit?

Anyway, you're very photogenic, dreads or otherwise.

Ummmm everybody is ethnic, you know that right?

Um, no.

@milkyaqua

Ummmm everybody is ethnic, you know that right?

Um, no.

Umm yes We all have an ethnicity

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Yes it is. That's right Egyptian people are ethnic... the surrounding Countries on a map such as Somalia are also ethnic just like the origin of dread locks that was my main point. Asian people are also ethnic too.

Ummmm everybody is ethnic, you know that right?

Ethnic minority OP is not and nor is her hair... so the extensions can easily be removed and put back in at a later date.

I know what ethnic minority means
And I know what ethnic means
Ethnic does not mean ethnic minority

Um, no.

Ethnic: associated with or belonging to a particular race or group of people who have a culture that is different from the main culture of a country.

@milkyaqua

Ummmm everybody is ethnic, you know that right?

Um, no.

Are you on the same thread as us? Usually MN is so middle class.... now people are so accepting of OP wearing dread locks which is up to her however she should not be arguing that it is not from a black culture..OR claiming it is part of her FFS it is not. I don't see many white people with dreads if that's the case why is this?? just like tanning is frequent in a white culture. It is what it is. But OP should own it at least it is a Ethnic minority hair style it's offensive that you and others who clearly are cultturally uneducated but yet so adamant to tell others about their heritage...

Yeah sorry I don't think dreadlocks, particularly fake ones, belong on white people. I do think it smacks of cultural appropriation. That said. It wouldn't affect my wedding.

so the extensions can easily be removed and put back in at a later date

Easily?!

I agree, I think dreadlocks on white people look ‘off’ and not something I would have.