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Original poster

My sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding. Reasonable or unreasonable?

420 replies

Purple1998 · 07/04/2022 14:30

Hello! I just want some opinions.

Basically I'm a bridesmaid for my sister next year, I wear dreadlock extensions, they're quite expensive and they need fitting in every few months. My sister has said to me she or should I say "told" me that I'm not having dreads in for her wedding... granted I won't because it's her day, but my boyfriend thinks she's out of order because he thinks she's basically telling me to not be myself. What do you think? He recons I should say something but I don't think I want to cause agro and would rather her just be happy on her day, not that my hair should make her otherwise... she was a bit cheeky about it because I did tell her that they're expensive and was hoping she wouldn't bring them up, but she replied with "money can't buy taste" Hmm

Do you think she's being reasonable?

OP posts:
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5
CambsAlways · 07/04/2022 18:47

Wow! I wouldn’t be changing my hair just to make my sister happy! I think she’s a CF regardless of a wedding! What’s wrong with dreadlocks?

SleepingStandingUp · 07/04/2022 18:47

Given they're extensions you're need to pay to replace, I'd just get them removed shortly before and replaced shortly after. You seem a bit 🙄 but happy to make her happy and your DP seems like he wants to make it into a big drama between you

Honeyroar · 07/04/2022 18:50

Money can’t buy taste! Cheeky cow. I’d have told her apparently it can’t buy manners either. I’d step down from being a bridesmaid and leave her to bridezillaness, unless she apologised.

Mamabananananana · 07/04/2022 18:51

@HollowTalk a friend of mine had inexplicably dyed her hair a washed out teal to "match" the bridesmaids dresses. It looked mental.

Chely · 07/04/2022 18:51

She's rude.

You could have dreads dressed up beautifully to go with a bridesmaid dress. If you're happy to go along with her demands that's fine, sounds very bridezilla.

JedEye · 07/04/2022 18:53

@Barkingmadhouse

I can see her point of view, dreadlocks are awful and will affect the photos. Do you think she felt forced (probably by family) to have you as a bridesmaid but doesn't actually want you as one because of your look? Would you not being a bridesmaid create issues with the wider family for her? I know of I had a sister with dreadlocks I wouldn't want her as a bridesmaid
Really? The photos? Hmm

I suspect you would look back on this decision one day and really wish you’d made a better one.

Mamabananananana · 07/04/2022 18:54

Also OP, are you white cos noooooooo its grotty AF.
If you arent, tell DS to take a run and jump, as shes not doing much for black girl hair
*and Will Smith her ,if needed Wink

AppleKatie · 07/04/2022 18:55

Blimey, my sister through a fit because I asked her to wear flip flops to my wedding (a choice of footwear she wears independently for 6 months out of every year usually). I can’t imagine her reaction if I’d told her to change her hair 😂

Don’t do it if you don’t want to OP it’s not a reasonable request.

TheOriginalEmu · 07/04/2022 18:55

No she has no right to tell you what to do with your hair.

JedEye · 07/04/2022 18:56

Quick google comes up with this. Looks pretty good to me.

My sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding. Reasonable or unreasonable?
ImInStealthMode · 07/04/2022 18:57

She's being unreasonable. I have 4 bridesmaids and they could do literally whatever they wanted with their hair before our wedding, it's their hair.

I'm not having them as bridesmaids for their look, I'm having them because I love them.

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 07/04/2022 19:27

Since they are extensions anyway I think it's fine. She isn't asking you to make a permanent change to your natural appearance, just present in a different style on the day . To my mind it's similar to asking all the bridesmaids to have an updo or use the same MUA or even wear similar/identical dresses on the day. Being a bridesmaid means representing the brides idea of bridesmaid style rather your personal everyday preferences.

Peboh · 07/04/2022 19:30

I currently have pink hair, and I'm a bridesmaid for a friends wedding this summer so will be changing my hair back to a natural colour. However, this is my choice. She hasn't, nor would she dream of asking me to change my hair for her wedding day.

If she did, I'd dye it a more obnoxious colour just to be annoying.

NotMeekNotObedient · 07/04/2022 19:39

B!

Love Budapest. That was the last city break I went on (prior to Covid!). Cheap, good food, nice sights, amazing spas, cool nightlife.

Lisbon & Berlin are on my bucket list!

Plus a week in sunny Spain, sounds perfect.

heartofgrass · 07/04/2022 19:44

Jedeye they look awful??! 🤣

Just goes to show how everyone's tastes are different. If my friend rocked up with hair like that I'd be like GIRL ARE YOU OKAY!? HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/04/2022 19:46

@Suprima

Middle ground- because i can completely understand both sides- can you show her some lovely dread updos? You can make some lovely coils and buns with dreadlocks. I think they could look really pretty with some flowers.
This, more or less.

I don’t absolutely understand her position (because I haven’t seen your hair) but in the interests of harmony this seems like a good compromise.

But you certainly shouldn’t alter your hairstyle drastically for her wedding, nor incur significant extra costs.

beattieedny · 07/04/2022 19:55

It's perfectly possible for a decent hairdresser to do an 'up' do with dreads that will look more traditionally 'western wedding'. No need to get rid of them. People get really silly about weddings. The important thing is the commitment, with or without God, faith depending, and the people.

ExplodingElephants · 07/04/2022 19:57

Crazy! When I got married, I didn’t even dictate what hairstyles my bridesmaids had to have. I just told them to ask the hair and makeup lady to do it how they wanted on the day. I was so excited I really didn’t care if they looked identical 😆

HowIsItMarchAlready · 07/04/2022 19:59

If I had an issue with the one someone looks, I just would not ask them to be in the wedding party. No matter whether they are my sibling or colleague.

WTF475878237NC · 07/04/2022 20:01

Just goes to show how everyone's tastes are different. If my friend rocked up with hair like that I'd be like GIRL ARE YOU OKAY!? HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?

^ me too

KELLOGSspeck · 07/04/2022 20:06

I'm with @JedEye the girls in the pictures hair look nice. However I would expect someone with afro hair to have that style tbh.

My sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding. Reasonable or unreasonable?
KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 07/04/2022 20:38

I'm on the fence, whilst I don't think you should dictate how someone has their hair as a bridesmaid (I got mine to pick how they had it done) I also don't like dreadlocks and don't think they are very inkeeping with a wedding theme, so I can see both sides.

Purple1998 · 07/04/2022 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Purple1998 · 07/04/2022 20:42

Would like to note I know I had a bad bun on on the second pic lol. Usually looks tidier than that. 😂 just thought my baba looked cute

OP posts:
heartofgrass · 07/04/2022 20:58

You're beautiful and your baba is super cute !