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Original poster

My sister wants me to change my hair for her wedding. Reasonable or unreasonable?

420 replies

Purple1998 · 07/04/2022 14:30

Hello! I just want some opinions.

Basically I'm a bridesmaid for my sister next year, I wear dreadlock extensions, they're quite expensive and they need fitting in every few months. My sister has said to me she or should I say "told" me that I'm not having dreads in for her wedding... granted I won't because it's her day, but my boyfriend thinks she's out of order because he thinks she's basically telling me to not be myself. What do you think? He recons I should say something but I don't think I want to cause agro and would rather her just be happy on her day, not that my hair should make her otherwise... she was a bit cheeky about it because I did tell her that they're expensive and was hoping she wouldn't bring them up, but she replied with "money can't buy taste" Hmm

Do you think she's being reasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
pinkyredrose · 08/04/2022 11:51

i have never seen a White person look good with dreads

In your opinion.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 08/04/2022 11:51

I did like Howard from "Take That" when he had his dreadlocks.
www.last.fm/music/Howard+Donald/+images/61b8ab28d7e84487bfc9c95bbc78404a

KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 11:54

@Strictlyfanoftenyears

Ive never understood the cultural appropriation thing. Surely we can do anything with our hair, what does it matter to anyone? (and it looks fab so why not)
On a serious note have a quick Google. For years many many white people have berated black peoples d Facial features (big lips imparticular) and hair. Afro hair is always seemed as a negative compared to an English hair type. How can you be so ignorant to this issue when there's many sources that quite clearly will back up what I'm saying.

Have you not heard the racial slurs? There's a bigger picture and it's all well and good for you to sit there and say you don't say why does it matter?

It matters, it matters a lot. Research the history.

Do you remember the outrage when Adele the singer had China bumps... it went viral so clearly its quite an issue. Talk about ignorance is bliss Shock

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/04/2022 11:57

How rude is she?!

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 08/04/2022 11:58

Well clearly my ignorance is bliss....... it doesnt bother me in the slightest if someone wants to copy my hairstyle. Much more important things to be concerned about in this world.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 08/04/2022 12:01

@inmyslippers

I have never seen a White person look good with dreads. She's doing you w favour
So you think. I love dreads on anyone. So there we go!
KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:02

@Strictlyfanoftenyears

Well clearly my ignorance is bliss....... it doesnt bother me in the slightest if someone wants to copy my hairstyle. Much more important things to be concerned about in this world.
To be Frank... it wont apply to you nor any other white woman for that matter. Hence the thread..
Strictlyfanoftenyears · 08/04/2022 12:06

KELLOGSspeck why do you say that I am a white woman?

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 08/04/2022 12:07

I think you look great OP. Hopefully your sister will come round.

KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:10

@Strictlyfanoftenyears

KELLOGSspeck why do you say that I am a white woman?
Because no black woman would be saying they don't understand cultural appropriation and then continue to say they don't understand.

I can gather you quite clearly don't understand... as a black woman you could disagree but its laughable to say don't understand. Your most definitely a white woman..

SoyaChai · 08/04/2022 12:10

Your the type to run in the Sun first and strip down to get a tan

What does this even mean

I think your hair looks lovely op

Thehop · 08/04/2022 12:11

It’s not relevant really but you’re stunning OP. Don’t change for others

TheKeatingFive · 08/04/2022 12:21

Facial features (big lips imparticular) and hair. Afro hair is always seemed as a negative compared to an English hair type.

The problem you've identified here is historical (and also current) racism.

I agree that this is a huge issue and needs to be addressed.

However white women wearing their hair in what is a common hairstyle globally is not relevant to that point and trying to police it doesn't do anything to address the actual issue of racist behaviour. It's just a displacement of that.

KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:23

@TheKeatingFive I don't think you have right to tell me what to do. I have explained my points and at no point did I suggest OP was racists I don't believe she is. I have also stuck up for OP and said her sister was out of line.

I'm entitled to my opinion.... as are you.

TheKeatingFive · 08/04/2022 12:25

I'm entitled to my opinion.... as are you.

And I'm entitled to point out what's flawed about it.

You're expressing feelings of hurt, I get that. It doesn't mean they are being diverted into the right channel.

KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:28

@TheKeatingFive there's white women on this thread not fond of dread locks. This is the issue the fact that OP is white. Again I don't know what rock your living under but you are being deliberately obtuse. White women wearing dread locks is not overly common. So let's not pretend like it is.

How many of your white friends wear dread locks out-of interest?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 08/04/2022 12:30

[quote KELLOGSspeck]@TheKeatingFive there's white women on this thread not fond of dread locks. This is the issue the fact that OP is white. Again I don't know what rock your living under but you are being deliberately obtuse. White women wearing dread locks is not overly common. So let's not pretend like it is.

How many of your white friends wear dread locks out-of interest?[/quote]
I know of 8 in my circle of friends with me included. And 3 men.

TheKeatingFive · 08/04/2022 12:31

White women wearing dread locks is not overly common. So let's not pretend like it is.

I'm not sure of the relevance of that, it's culturally associated with white ethnicities from the Celts to the Greeks.

No culture owns this hairstyle it's just nonsense to suggest that.

TheKeatingFive · 08/04/2022 12:31

I know white people with dreads. I'm not sure if the relevance of that however.

HangingRock25 · 08/04/2022 12:33

White or non-white is irrelevant. Dreadlocks is not a racial issue.

KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:34

So are you denying that the issue isn't just about OPS choice of hairstyle? It's because OP is white and the hair style... her sister doesn't want it at her wedding.

HangingRock25 · 08/04/2022 12:35

@KELLOGSspeck

So are you denying that the issue isn't just about OPS choice of hairstyle? It's because OP is white and the hair style... her sister doesn't want it at her wedding.
No, it's not because the OP is white. The OP's race is entirely, completely and totally irrelevant. Dreadlocks are not a racial hairstyle.
KELLOGSspeck · 08/04/2022 12:42

@HangingRock25 to you perhaps but quite clearly OPS sister doesn't feel the same as you.

HangingRock25 · 08/04/2022 12:49

[quote KELLOGSspeck]@HangingRock25 to you perhaps but quite clearly OPS sister doesn't feel the same as you.[/quote]
@KELLOGSspeck The sister doesn't like the dreadlocks because of how they look, not anything to do with race. The sister said nothing about race. You're the only one who has made this a racial issue.