What age did your looks start to fade?

[SalJ90]

Do we really become less desirable as we get older? Why is this?

When I was about 10. I was a cute kid and then it all went to pot.

Having said that, after my Mum died suddenly when I was 45, I didn't even recognise my own face in the mirror. The change was unbelievable.

physically I feel better than ever at 42 (hint: ashtanga yoga)

haven't caved on botox yet but expect I will before too long. good skincare, healthy diet, enough sleep, low stress all helps but it's much more about how I feel - for me - than how I look.

Why are you asking such a personal question? You don't even have the courtesy to share anything about yourself or what you intend to do with the replies.

@JenniferPlantain

Well, this thread makes depressing reading!

Come on folks - you’re all automatically equating “looks fading” with “looking older”. That’s such a f**ked up mentality. I get it, but stop. Stop now and look at what you’re saying.

I am 43. I look 43. I think I look great. I do not look 20. Does that mean “my looks have faded”???

Society embraces youth. We have it shoved down our throats daily. That does not mean you need to look younger than you are to look great.

My looks will never fade. I will look older, I will look my age, my hair will go grey, my skin will wrinkle, things will drop (!) and men may not stop in the street as they see me approach but I will always look f**king fabulous because I will look like me.

Don’t let messed up definitions of shallow shit ruin the amazing achievement of getting older. There should not be a sense of loss to aging. X

I find the notion that anyone could or should ‘always look fabulous’ equally depressing tbh.

@MiddleParking

Mine start to fade every day at 2-3pm.

Around 52, my hair thinned during the menopause and my skin has aged. I do facials, microneedling and I'm going to get fibroblasting. I still get attention, but I used to turn heads. However I suffered from a lot of Street harrasment, sexism (from both men and women) because of my looks and I'm glad that's gone. Although ageism has replaced it. I met my now decent bf in my 50's and there's been benefits to aging. I agree to lifestyle overhauls, but I do miss the boozy nights out and wish I'd packed in more holidays when younger.

My looks have not "faded" I look different but not in a bad way. I still get lots of compliments. I'd never have botox or filler so really good skincare and keeping a suitable weight are my priorities. I feel happy when I look in the mirror.

I noticed a change after I had my DD (at 32/33) and was ok for a couple of years then lockdown hit and it aged me. I have fine lines/dark circles and puffy eyes. If I could fix that and sort the grey hair I'd be better.
Body is still pretty good. I'm 37.

We dont look as fertile as we get older which makes us less 'desirable'. We can still look lovely but culture is a bit youth obsessed.
I aged a lot after having my babies due to lack of sleep and i looked haggard. Ive settled into that now and expect menopause will cause the next set of changes.

45 is when the skin on my face started to sag/ loosen. Also after a lifetime of looking young for age. Also, not coincidentally that is when I had a young child who did not sleep (had her at 41).

Someone upthread talked about feeling invisible now their looks have faded.

That invisibility has always been mine, like people just don't register me. I wouldn't know how to manage the kind of attention that attractive people get, even if I sometimes wish I knew what it felt like.

There is something to be said about not having good looks in the first place- at least I never have to come to terms with losing the privilege and attention brought by attractiveness.

I’m 32 this year and I’m feeling it! I can really relate to the face ‘settling’ comment as I’m noticing that too!

Sorry for late reply I was just reading through, I think I’m struggling to come to terms with it and maybe need to re evaluate my perspective as I think I have always relied on my looks in life but it’s hit me that that won’t be the case forever

Nah... I'll still be gorgeous at 100 🤣🤣

I was quite pretty when I was about 5 or 6...since then, I am not sure I've had any looks to lose

😂😂😂😂😂 @Chely

@JenniferPlantain

Well, this thread makes depressing reading!

Come on folks - you’re all automatically equating “looks fading” with “looking older”. That’s such a f**ked up mentality. I get it, but stop. Stop now and look at what you’re saying.

I am 43. I look 43. I think I look great. I do not look 20. Does that mean “my looks have faded”???

Society embraces youth. We have it shoved down our throats daily. That does not mean you need to look younger than you are to look great.

My looks will never fade. I will look older, I will look my age, my hair will go grey, my skin will wrinkle, things will drop (!) and men may not stop in the street as they see me approach but I will always look f**king fabulous because I will look like me.

Don’t let messed up definitions of shallow shit ruin the amazing achievement of getting older. There should not be a sense of loss to aging. X

hoorah! I was going to post pretty much the same and you beat me to it. I actually found the question quite odd... I mean its up to everyone what they do with their own bodies and spend their own time on but why are "looks" and young looks at that...the be all and end all?

"“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967"

You are not losing your looks at 32! When you get to your 50s you will look back and kick yourself for not realising how good you look.

@Onionpatch

We dont look as fertile as we get older which makes us less 'desirable'. We can still look lovely but culture is a bit youth obsessed. I aged a lot after having my babies due to lack of sleep and i looked haggard. Ive settled into that now and expect menopause will cause the next set of changes.

then fuck culture!

@ExConstance

My looks have not "faded" I look different but not in a bad way. I still get lots of compliments. I'd never have botox or filler so really good skincare and keeping a suitable weight are my priorities. I feel happy when I look in the mirror.

so do I! I am still alive, still standing, still smiling.

I find this very depressing. In my 20s I frequently looked miserable, didn't look after myself and felt unworthy, even though objectively I was young and skinny.

Now I'm older but I sleep well, don't drink, exercise and eat well and to me I look better but more importantly feel good.

Maybe my looks have faded but so what - we never talk about men 'fading'

Sounds like you are suffering from some internalised misogyny OP.

@Crackercrazy

Mid-40s. First hair fell out (massive receding hairline), followed by losing eye-brows a few years later. Then the sagging, everything is drooping!

I do try to remain positive - it could be worse, right? - but the eyebrow loss has been particularly hard (I had lovely eyebrows).

One cheap tip that is very effective and easy with eye brows is to rub caster oil on the area.

Caster oil is very good for rubbing into the scalp area where you want to encourage growth.

My friend lost her eyebrows through chemo and whilst her hair returned slowly and curly, her eyebrows did not.

Caster oil did the trick in three months.

Cheap and worth a try.
Just gently massage it into the area.

@eldora

For me, it wasn’t ‘age’ that aged me, I had always looked 10 years younger than my real age.

It was the end of one relationship, and then again following the end of a marriage.

If I had had hindsight and known that both men were so unworthy, I would have dumped them before the grief from those relationships changed my face forever.

Totally with you there. I’ve always been considered very attractive but a relationship and its knock on affects have killed my looks. Stress and strain can age you terribly. The last time I can remember looking good was 2016. Since then I’ve aged and any sense of style has gone out the window. I do think with a bit more self interest I could ‘scrub up’ reasonably well (I think I’d need Botox though 😁) and lose a few pounds but I’m basically just trying to get through each day intact, haven’t had a holiday for six years or new clothes for ages. Life is very different today for me than 20 years ago. My face stated going south in my 50s.

@Gowithme

I'm 47 and am happier with my looks now than ever. My skin is better, I have more idea about what suits me and I sleep and exercise more. At the same time I give less fucks about what I look like and whether or not people like me based on how I look.

Same. I'm 44. Finally learned off tiktok videos, how to do my make up properly 🤣. My own sister asked me if I'd had work done.

I drink loads of water, have a good skincare routine and I honestly feel like this is the best I've looked.

And I really don't care what other people think about me.

BUT SO THE FUCK WHAT?!

Yeh, this. I still look like me but I have a few lines, a few greys, maybe a bit softer round the edges. Lots of women don’t make my age so a few markers are of no concern to me, I cba with Botox and fillers but no judgement on anyone who does.

There's definitely some sort of big changes that start happening in early/mid forties. Before then you can still get away with looking properly young, I think.
Whether that equates to losing looks, I suppose it depends on the person. Some women I think genuinely grow into their looks.