MiL gave baby first ice cream

[maloney123]

Please let me preface this post by acknowledging that my in laws look after our baby once a week and I’m hugely grateful to them for this. They were desperate to be grandparents (this is their first grandchild) so the arrangement suits us both as they get time with the baby and I get time to catch up on laundry, cleaning etc (I am still on mat leave).

Today my MIL gave our baby her first taste of ice cream (DD is 9 months). I’m not so bothered about the sweet aspect (although we’re not giving her sweets, juice etc as yet) but I feel upset that we didn’t get to give her her first ice cream. I feel like this is a cute milestone moment for a baby and instead of being there I had my MIL describing to me how my daughter reacted to the taste. Previously she has also tried BLW my baby one day after we started weaning her which I was livid about, so we’ve already spoken to her and asked her not to give her new foods without checking in first.

I don’t mind MIL giving “normal” foods but I do feel like something like baby’s first ice cream is a bit special and I feel annoyed and upset that she took this moment away unnecessarily. I don’t think I’m going to say anything about it as I don’t want to appear ungrateful so I guess I’m just venting, feel free to tell me YABU!!

@maloney123

Let me rephrase I guess…she’s only had plain / sensible foods so far on her weaning journey. The sweetest thing she’s had is fruit. For me ice cream is different to avocado or or broccoli or something like that…I don’t know I just wanted to give her her first “treat” food I guess. If anyones seen Place Beyond the Pines there’s a really cute bit where the parents give the baby his first taste of ice cream. Thanks for responses anyway!

I had to watch the ‘Place Beyond the pines’ clip to understand what on God’s earth this thread is about.

A loved up Mum & Dad having a laugh feeding their cute baby ice cream.

Honestly OP, you have so many ice cream moments still to come. Including the ones where PFB drops it on the floor the second they are given it resulting in tears and hysteria all round. 🤣

Here’s the film clip you mention in case anyone is interested:

The bit I don't get is 'she took this moment away unnecessarily'. If you hadn't told her you were particularly concerned about the first ice-cream, how was she to know? If you're not bothered about the sugar/other ingredients then, as far as I can see, the only person to reasonably be annoyed at is yourself for not telling MIL about the desired ice-cream first. Maybe an idea to give her a list of firsts you want to have? And, if the baby does start walking or talking with MIL, do you want her to tell you?

@JudgeJ

I didn’t say that it is a thing? I just explained that it’s a thing to me? Why are people on here so needlessly aggressive grin I’m just saying I wanted to see my first baby’s little face when she had her first “treat” food, im not inventing ice cream as a thing! Give your own head a wobble

The aggression seems to be coming from you when people are not falling over themselves to agree with you. How very dare they!
Just for clarification, did the awful grandmother give her a taste from a spoon, a quick lick or the full monty, a 99 with a massive flake?
Trust me, in 5 years time you'll think back on this and cringe, I know I did after child 1!

Oh you got me at the 99 with a massive flake.

If I didn't feel so ill I think I'd pop down to the local beach (only a mile away) and get one. Actually I'm tempted to do it anyway but not sure I should be driving.

If you've been on MN long enough you'll know that labelling more calorific/sugary food as 'treat food' will give your kids eating disorders so yes YABU

If I am ever kind enough to give up a full day of my own precious free time, every single week, so that dd or dil can enjoy a peaceful day and rest, I would (1) not know that ice cream was special, (2) expect to make minor welfare decisions while she was in my capable care without being micromanaged, (3) tell you to forget the whole arrangement if you had the temerity to sulk about it.

I hope she takes her first steps and says her first words on grandma's day. Or will you expect granny to topple her over and put a sock in her mouth?

Jesus Christ.

I don't remember my first child's special first ice cream moment on the basis that there is nothing special about it. This is beyond precious first born, it is ridiculous.

Haven't read all the replies. I know the feeling and I kind of get it. My mother gave my pfb their first hair cut without asking. I was really upset.
But. The grandchild/grandparent relationship is such a special one, and I think it's important that they get to be part of the milestones too. Especially if they are helping in a practical way. You will have so many precious moments with your baby, but how lovely for your baby that she will have them with her granny too.
Be a little bit sad for a day or so if you have to, but then you need to build a bridge and get over it!
And definitely don't bitch about it in real life.

Grow up!
Have you seen all the empty prams in Ukraine,a representation for each baby killed ?

@KarmaStar

Grow up! Have you seen all the empty prams in Ukraine,a representation for each baby killed ?

There are other issues on the planet larger and smaller than the Ukraine we don't get to stop functioning questioning thinking and learning because out there somewhere someone is hurting more than you do you group to people smiling in the streets and tell them off because there is a war happening? Doubtful

There is ALWAYS a war happening somewhere there are ALWAYS people dying somewhere life ALWAYS goes on regardless however sad it may be

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

Honestly op you won't even remember in a few years time. I'm just trying to remember the first time any of my dc had ice-cream and drawn a total blank.

Your dc has a lovely relationship with doting grandparents, don't sweat the small stuff.

Do you really think OP will forget this experience, when it obviously touched something in her mind? I find it very bizzare to tell someone they will forget something that is now important to them.

I would far rather have decent in laws that had time for us and their grandchildren than the memory of the first ice cream. YABU.

I didn't assume as I said m8st mother's would listen

@YesIKnowIABUbutIamreallytired

Haven't read all the replies. I know the feeling and I kind of get it. My mother gave my pfb their first hair cut without asking. I was really upset. But. The grandchild/grandparent relationship is such a special one, and I think it's important that they get to be part of the milestones too. Especially if they are helping in a practical way. You will have so many precious moments with your baby, but how lovely for your baby that she will have them with her granny too. Be a little bit sad for a day or so if you have to, but then you need to build a bridge and get over it! And definitely don't bitch about it in real life.

Terrible upsetting

OP, sorry you are feeling robbed of a special moment. I can understand why an ice-cream is considered a special thing in your mind, even if you perhaps hadnt realised it previously. Its hard to let someone else look after your first child when they are so little.

@TurningUpMyStereotype

‘Ice cream is a milestone‘ ‘Babe’ ‘Weaning journey’

😬

Cringe 😬

It's funny that all these kinds of posts are mentioning "Mother in Law". Is that really the problem? What if is was "my parent's" is that OK?

If you want to work on your own feelings and want to feel easy about what happens when your baby is with them without micromanaging them, I would try to have some time together with MIL to chat about what you feel is important to you.
Hopefully you'll find that your MIL thought nothing of the icecream (eventhough why the heck give it to a baby this young ...) and she just does automatically what she thinks it normal. Obviously parenting style has changed since she had babies.
I very much hope she is not the type who does this deliberately. I think whoever looks after your baby should be able to go with your wishes. Certainly not to go agaist them just because they want it different.

You should try bany on a slush puppy my son was teething and (to my husbands horror) I dipped to spoon in my slush puppy and put it in his mouth his reaction was hilarious he ended up with blue tongue and it worked better than calpol

Your suggestion was good, I don't know HomeHomeInTheRange's issue is. Totally weird reaction imo!

Just being a bully now about the way someone talks.

Maybe stop watching shite like a place beyond the pines OP

BTW U R V V PFB

The only milestones I thought important when I was child minding were things like crawling, standing alone, or walking. The children never (ahem!) achieved any milestone in my house first unless the parent was there to witness it. I think you're being very unreasonable and over the top.

@Cazalet

YABU. It’s really not a milestone.

But you are right to avoid the juice. I was lax on this and my eldest has about 4 filings and one route canal by age 17. Dentist and I are pretty sure it was the juice habit when he was small. I do feel guilty. Second child is 15, no juice given and has no filings. Maybe have a chat with your ILs re not giving juice.

It doesnt need to be the juice. Bad teeth happen to children who dont drink juice too these days. Its a much wider problem and part of general health of the body, not just the teeth itself.