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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like fucking crying?

419 replies

WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 15:15

My partner has a stomach bug. He caught it off the kids and he's had a couple of accidents.

Came in from work today to find the house stinking of shit. It's everywhere - our bed is going to have to be replaced, the bedroom carpet is ruined, it's on the stair carpet and the hall carpet downstairs.

I've just spent 45mins scrubbing the (tiny) bathroom because there was shit literally everywhere.

Can't really afford to buy a new bed but the mattress is heavily stained, now on both sides. It's going to cost hundreds for that and the carpets. Genuinely feel like crying my eyes out. Probably not helped by the fact he's doing nothing to help (like putting his soiled clothes in the shower rather than just leaving them). I've got piles of washing to do still too.

Aibu to be utterly fed up?

OP posts:
toomanydogsandcats · 06/04/2022 21:39

You are so lucky to have the NHS a health system with unqualified psychics on the end of a phone. How primative we are in the rest of the world to have doctors and lab tests to diagnose. Agree these responses are vile. Do people generally choose to shit themselves? It's not like he went out, got pissed, went to a strip club and lost control. Such nasty, nasty people posting. Turn it around, wife sitting herself through illness and man saying uts a turn off and it's a deal breaker. Madness as usual.

Verytired2019 · 06/04/2022 21:46

Hang on. Is this one of those mythical threads that I never see before they are removed where weird people post about poo to encourage others to do the same and get off on it?

thisuser · 06/04/2022 21:50

eh? this is a grown man you're talking about??
i would get him on his hands and knees to. lean everything up. makd him replace everything and inform him that he needs to pick up his dirty clothes from out the shower and deal with them. very very very horrible of him to expect that its your duty to clean the mess after him. hes not a kid.

saraclara · 06/04/2022 21:56

Do people generally choose to shit themselves? It's not like he went out, got pissed, went to a strip club and lost control. Such nasty, nasty people posting. Turn it around, wife sitting herself through illness and man saying uts a turn off and it's a deal breaker. Madness as usual.

Exactly. All these "well I had triple novovirus and quadruple gastro and I didn't shit myself" posts are so stupid. Well lucky those posters. Some of us aren't so lucky. Because you haven't experienced it yourself doesnt mean that others haven't either.

I and a very few others have made it clear that it CAN happen, and it can be entirely unexpected and projectile. Thank goodness it's relatively rare, but the hammering this guy is getting for apparently doing it on purpose or being stupid by taking himself to bed upstairs when he was ill (because apparently he was supposed to know that this rare thing would happen) is awful.

And yes, it's because he's a man.

Jk987 · 06/04/2022 21:57

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

Sorry but I've had noro several times and it sort of explodes out of both ends to start and then runs like a tap out your arse. If he was downstairs when it started then you can't simply stop shitting. Oddly enough no one likes shitting themselves so I doubt he is doing it on purpose. It's humiliating.

When I had it, after the initial burst of vomit and shit I had absolutely no energy and just lay on the floor. Easiest place to lie is in the bath so at least it can be washed down if you have another explosion.

I worked on cruise ships where it's incredibly common and I've seen guests vomit and shit all over the place when theyve been ill. Can't always be helped.

The point is that he's not cleaning up after himself.
Jk987 · 06/04/2022 21:59

@Letsbekindplease

I can’t help but laugh at these responses and then the picture. You guys are BRUTAL

Flowers feeling for you OP and hubby. Warm soapy water. Then I would use bicarbonate soda to make a paste on it. Leave over night. Hoover in the morning then wash again.
Bin the clothes he’s shit on.
Make yourself a cuppa and get your feet up. Try stay clear of him because it’s so catching. Ignore some of these people on here who clearly act like they’re shit don’t stink

But the OP shouldn't have to do this. Her partner can clean up and bin his own clothes. I'd be mortified if it happened to me and would clean up no matter how bad I felt.
mbosnz · 06/04/2022 22:03

To me, it's not that he didn't clean up after himself. it's that he didn't try to do so.

And believe me, I know about being caught mortifyingly short - let's not talk about cream linen trousers as noro came in with a bang. . .

watcherintherye · 06/04/2022 22:04

The point is that he's not cleaning up after himself.

The point is, he’s il.

watcherintherye · 06/04/2022 22:05

*ill

Letsbekindplease · 06/04/2022 22:11

My god. I’d hate to be married to any of you lot. The poor guy is shitting through the eye of a needle. Clearly can’t clean it up. I’d HAPPILY clean that up if it was my OH. He’s not well

Monday55 · 06/04/2022 22:15

You need to get yourselves two buckets. One for the shits which he'll need to fill halfway with water to make it easy to empty and one for puke. Hopefully he'll be able to empty them in between episodes.

worstshittingaccidentever · 06/04/2022 22:19

NC just to post this.

so to those saying you have never shit yourself with norovirus, you are very lucky.

i have never shared this story in real life however i feel this is the right thread, no one knows me and I should probably get it off my chest as im still completely mortified about it.

so a couple of months ago i started to feel a bit sick in work. i have a driving job and I was out in the car.

Within 5 minutes i was vomitting uncontrollably, thankfully not over myself as i managed to hold on until I pulled over.

Feeling really poorly I drove back to work. Got to the car park and felt a horrible grumble in my guts, stepped out the car and I can only describe it as a volcano of watery diarrhoea poured out of me. All down my trousers, over my socks and into my shoes. It was everywhere! I couldn't believe it. Honestly it was without more than 10 seconds of warning, no where near long enough to walk through the car park and into the building.

I was mortified and freaking out, wtf was i going to do!!

Thankfully it was only me and a male colleage in that day. I was also extremely fortunate to have spare work clothes in my car. I hastily grabbed them and prayed my colleague wasnt going to appear in the car park/catch me in the building.

I managed to get to the toilet and sort myself out without him seeing me however Im sure he must have noticed the terrible stench in the building after I left. thankfully he never mentioned it to me.

god it was so awful. i dont think iv quite got over the trauma yet and its been quite a while since it happened now.

anyway, yep worst thing to have happened to me in a long time.

I feel for both you and your OH OP .

babyjellyfish · 06/04/2022 22:21

The OP has to be a poo troll. No one's bowel has the capacity to cause that amount of mess.

mathanxiety · 06/04/2022 22:29

Do you have a bathtub?

Get him off the couch and into the tub. He needs to stay there until he has recovered. He can put a pillow under his head.

Go and get some sports rehydration drink for him.

Call professional cleaners asap. Stop cleaning this up yourself. You're going to catch the virus.

Regardless of sickness, a grown adult does not turn his home into a midden.

I would make sure he understands this is never to happen again. When you have noro you live in the bathroom until it's over. You lie on the cold tiled floor for three days if necessary.

mathanxiety · 06/04/2022 22:42

@toomanydogsandcats, nobody chooses to get noro, but he chose to leave a heap of shitty clothes where they fell, he chose not to go and lie on the bathroom floor or in the tub to reduce the possibility of getting shite everywhere, but never mind, the shite fairy will clean it all up by magic.

It apparently never dawned on him to bung his arse with a pillow slip or a Tshirt while he was in transit from bedroom to bathroom, so the carpets are ruined.

Now he has chosen to lie on the couch to wait for the next round, so the couch will get destroyed too. It won't come out of leather. There will always be some lodged in the seams.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/04/2022 22:42

Struggling to see an issue here. Shit smells. Cleaning it helps.

The OP didn't do it. Homely housekeeping advice is not what she needs.

Her H should have dealt with the situation.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/04/2022 22:46

@worstshittingaccidentever

NC just to post this.

so to those saying you have never shit yourself with norovirus, you are very lucky.

i have never shared this story in real life however i feel this is the right thread, no one knows me and I should probably get it off my chest as im still completely mortified about it.

so a couple of months ago i started to feel a bit sick in work. i have a driving job and I was out in the car.

Within 5 minutes i was vomitting uncontrollably, thankfully not over myself as i managed to hold on until I pulled over.

Feeling really poorly I drove back to work. Got to the car park and felt a horrible grumble in my guts, stepped out the car and I can only describe it as a volcano of watery diarrhoea poured out of me. All down my trousers, over my socks and into my shoes. It was everywhere! I couldn't believe it. Honestly it was without more than 10 seconds of warning, no where near long enough to walk through the car park and into the building.

I was mortified and freaking out, wtf was i going to do!!

Thankfully it was only me and a male colleage in that day. I was also extremely fortunate to have spare work clothes in my car. I hastily grabbed them and prayed my colleague wasnt going to appear in the car park/catch me in the building.

I managed to get to the toilet and sort myself out without him seeing me however Im sure he must have noticed the terrible stench in the building after I left. thankfully he never mentioned it to me.

god it was so awful. i dont think iv quite got over the trauma yet and its been quite a while since it happened now.

anyway, yep worst thing to have happened to me in a long time.

I feel for both you and your OH OP .

This is awful for you, I can imagine how distressing it was.

However, awful as it is it was one incident. In OP's H's case, he had had multiple accidents in numerous places. Of course he could have managed it better, after the first time. No matter how limited.

Tevion28 · 06/04/2022 22:46

Now I feel ill and petrified of ever getting noro

Darbs76 · 06/04/2022 22:46

No he’s not cleaning up after himself as he feels terrible. Jeez, God forbid this ever happens to any of you lot. Yeah let’s all crucify the poor guy on a stake for daring to get norovirus

Chloemol · 06/04/2022 22:51

Sorry but even with the worst bug ever there is no excuse not to make it to the bathroom, and certainly no requirement to shit everywhere in the house

If necessary you literally stay in the bathroom

PaperTyger · 06/04/2022 22:53

op this has cheered me up so much .

once DF said - sheepishly - " Paper, i think I have had an accident" as shit slid down his leg - I was in a rented house with a really shitty live in ll about to come home any monent - I say this as I have been in shitty situatins before - more than that but as a quick....i am not judgemental - but this thread has cheered me up can it go in classic/

Springhassprung86 · 06/04/2022 23:00

Gobsmacked at some of these posts here. One accident, yea ok. He is literally shitting all over the house like it’s going out of fashion . Stay in one place, for fucks sake!! Why’s is necessary to run all over the house? Shitting?! Jesus.

housemaus · 06/04/2022 23:24

@Springhassprung86

Gobsmacked at some of these posts here. One accident, yea ok. He is literally shitting all over the house like it’s going out of fashion . Stay in one place, for fucks sake!! Why’s is necessary to run all over the house? Shitting?! Jesus.
Thank you! I feel like I've fallen into an alternate reality
Original poster
WeirdlyKind · 06/04/2022 23:25

We don't have a bath unfortunately. Just a very small shower and a bathroom so small you can touch both walls.

Thinking about it with some distance, I think it may have just been one incident that started in the bedroom and a few leaks as he made his way down the stairs.

OP posts:
KELLOGSspeck · 06/04/2022 23:36

So the bathroom is downstairs? Usually it's up it you only have the one.

You can get things Imodium... why didn't he call for you to leave work if it was soiling through the mattress Confused