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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“How much did it cost?”

170 replies

OrangeStapler · 05/04/2022 12:09

I have recently, after over 5 years of saving, purchased a vehicle that is linked to my hobby. It was a lot of money to me, more than I have ever spent on an item before.
I haven’t seen many people yet but the handful I have seen have been very quick to ask how much it cost.
I’m not sure of their motives but I find the situation really uncomfortable and I think unless you are close to someone (these people are not close friends) then you shouldn’t ask.
AIBU?
YABU: it’s fine to ask.
YANBU: you shouldn’t ask.

Anyone got any ideas for what I can say in the future when people ask? Preferably that don’t make me sound equally rude 😄

OP posts:
Oldandcobwebby · 05/04/2022 15:32

FGS, just tell them what it cost if they ask. This reticence about revealing the cost of things is just plain weird.

ExConstance · 05/04/2022 15:33

I want one too! I'd be too old to ride the horse if I saved up for 5 years probably. Enjoy your lovely purchase, I know from experience towing a horse trailer is no fun.

ExplodingElephants · 05/04/2022 15:33

My mum is awful for this and it’s just so annoying. I just say ‘it doesn’t matter’ when she asks me now as it’s non of her business. If she wants to know that much she can Google it, she’s just being nosy most of the time.

SpringLobelia · 05/04/2022 15:38

I just knew it would be a horsebox!

I am super super envious. My horse riding days are far behind me.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/04/2022 15:38

People are asking beCause they're so variable in price - it's more interest than nosiness

They're not asking because they think you're rich if you see what I mean - you know like if you had a Range Rover - that's an easily googleable thing

My MIL spent £30k on one - I genuinely thought they cost about 5!

CatherinedeBourgh · 05/04/2022 15:41

I don't think it's rude, more wondering whether next time they should get that one iyswim.

If you are not usually a flashy spender, and they see you with something really nice, they may be wondering if in fact they've missed a trick and they could get it too. They could spend time looking online to see if they can find out the price or, much easier, just ask you.

Can't really see the problem.

ivykaty44 · 05/04/2022 15:47

just say

all of my savings....

BadgerB · 05/04/2022 15:51

When asked this question my mother used to say, "money and fair words".
I've no idea why, or what it means - but I still say it

Lovemusic33 · 05/04/2022 15:57

Just tell people “it’s none of your business”, I hate it when people ask me how much something cost, I have had it with my hobby vehicle too 😉

Anyway enjoy your horse box, you saved for it and paid for it so don’t feel guilty.

MurmuratingStarling · 05/04/2022 15:59

£29K is a lot more than I thought a horse box would cost!!! Shock

Then again, I was recently knocked sideways when a farmer I know announced they just paid £120,000 for a new TRACTOR! Shock

You can buy a modest 2 bed semi-detached house for that in certain parts of my county!!!

Also, I don't understand the people saying 'surely it's OK to ask the price of something... I may be interested in getting one...' Just google the price FFS..... Like a normal person!

Crankley · 05/04/2022 16:01

I know someone like this. I mention I'm buying an item. I know exactly what I want to buy. This person then insists she knows where I can get it cheaper but it's not what I want at all. She then gets huffy when I buy the item I want and asks accusingly 'and how much was that!' I then ask why she needs to know. She then says 'I told you I could get it for x price' except she hasn't, hers is a vastly inferior product. Rinse and repeat.

newbiename · 05/04/2022 16:02

Wouldn't bother me , I'd just tell them.

PinkSyCo · 05/04/2022 16:11

Why does there need to be a motive behind people being curious as to the cost of something? Just answer truthfully. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Benjispruce4 · 05/04/2022 16:13

I was brought up to not ask how much people earn or spend on things. It’s personal.

Ledwood85 · 05/04/2022 16:24

I have a somewhat expensive vehicle. It's my hobby in of itself.

A few people have asked how much it was "if you don't mind me asking".
I don't feel comfortable telling them, but I did so anyway. Two reasons: firstly - they can find out anyway by simply looking on Auto Trader or whatever, secondly - the actual cost is probably less than what their imagination ran away with (there are way more expensive examples from the same manufacturer).

I have also been known to add some justification (it's my hobby, it's cheaper than a lot of brand new German SUVs these days, etc.) but otherwise it doesn't matter. I'm not young, I'm employed, I have things - nothing shocking there.

Blackberrybunnet · 05/04/2022 16:31

@Notanotherwindow

I don't know why people are so weird about money. They're just curious about how much xyz item retails for. I wouldn't think twice about answering tbh.
While I tend to agree with Notanotherwindow, if you do mind answering then make it a joke. "Too much" is a reasonable rebuttal.
astoundedgoat · 05/04/2022 16:37

I probably wouldn't ask, because I've lived in this country long enough to know that people are WEIRD about this kind of thing here (as this thread demonstrates). Where I'm from we often talk about money fairly openly, depending.

To be honest, I admit that I wouldn't because I would think that it made me look naive and ill-informed in the eyes of the horsey person to whom this kind of thing might be obvious at a glance? Blush

If it had been a campervan though, I would have asked straight out because I'd love one!

BitOutOfPractice · 05/04/2022 16:37

Not a nuclear fusion hovercraft then. I'm disappointed. Sad

Carryonmarion · 05/04/2022 16:47

Is it a horse box/ trailer? If is is YABU as that is the very first question I would ask as I want one. Also, if it is a horse box,or other niche vehicle then if people are not in that world they may genuinely not have a clue and be curious. People always ask how much my puppy cost and I am loathe to tell them if they are strangers as I think they might want to steal him but if its someone I know I just tell them as I think they genuinely don't have a clue.

Carryonmarion · 05/04/2022 16:48

Ah it is a horsebox - just seen the other posts Smile

YABU

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 05/04/2022 17:09

@SparkleSpangle

I don't think people are as interested in your super secret, special, one of a kind hobby vehicle as you think. They are just making conversation. Either answer or don't but if you are going to be weird about it like in your OP people will just Google it.
That’s a bit unkind. If OP’s nosey ‘friends’ are on Mumsnet and she disclosed TMI, they may well recognise her
MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 05/04/2022 17:11

Scrub that last post

< note to self: RT(whole)FT >

grapewines · 05/04/2022 17:12

"Enough."

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 05/04/2022 17:15

Enjoy your lovely new horse box you’ve saved so hard for!

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2022 17:32

@tearinghairout

I think it's really rude to ask. I would never ask, and would never tell if I didn't want to. If I wanted to know how much someone had likely paid I'd look for one for sale. When I was about 16 I was working and found a better job. In the staff room I told people I was going, and where. Someone said "What are they paying you?"' and I felt obliged to answer but felt really uncomfortable. Then I had their (unwanted) comments. Never again would I answer something I didn't want to from some nosey parker. I'd say I couldn't remember if I couldn't think of what else to say.
That's exactly the sort of thing I was on about. After answering their bloody nosy question you 9 times out of 10 have to suffer their unwanted opinions and judgemental attitudes.

Then - then... You get people saying well, if you didn't want opinions, you shouldn't have told them. 😂. But - you should tell people because it's not secret info but you shouldn't tell people if you don't want their attitude but you shouldn't keep it a secret but you've got to expect some negativity if you go telling people you've spent loads of money but why is it treated like a state secret but...

You can't bloody win.