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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“How much did it cost?”

170 replies

OrangeStapler · 05/04/2022 12:09

I have recently, after over 5 years of saving, purchased a vehicle that is linked to my hobby. It was a lot of money to me, more than I have ever spent on an item before.
I haven’t seen many people yet but the handful I have seen have been very quick to ask how much it cost.
I’m not sure of their motives but I find the situation really uncomfortable and I think unless you are close to someone (these people are not close friends) then you shouldn’t ask.
AIBU?
YABU: it’s fine to ask.
YANBU: you shouldn’t ask.

Anyone got any ideas for what I can say in the future when people ask? Preferably that don’t make me sound equally rude 😄

OP posts:
Namechange12312 · 05/04/2022 12:55

I also don’t understand why people are so weird about answering this question. They’re either not interested and making small talk because they don’t really have any interest in your ‘hobby’ and don’t know what to say. Or they DO have an interest in your hobby therefore have a valid reason to ask the cost of your ‘vehicle’. If you don’t want to answer the question then just say so?

purplecorkheart · 05/04/2022 12:58

I would probably reply with some like 'more than what I would have like'. I think some people do ask to see if there is somewhere that they can get a bargain.

Thumpkin · 05/04/2022 12:59

Laugh and say ‘more than I want to think about.’ If they ask again, say ‘a lot! But worth every penny.’ By now, the penny should drop that, yes, it’s expensive but it’s also not their concern. If they are so stupid that they ask a third time, say ‘it was a lot, if that’s what you are asking, but I can’t remember. Doesn’t really matter.’

DietOrDie · 05/04/2022 13:03

YANBU, I've got a vehicle that attracts attention and I've had this question thrown at me by complete strangers while I'm trying to fill up at the petrol station!

If it wasn't a works vehicle emblazoned with my identity I'd use some tarter responses than I actually do.

londonmummy1966 · 05/04/2022 13:03

I reckon the hobby is caravanning and the OP has bought a motor home

ParkheadParadise · 05/04/2022 13:06

I've got a SIL that asks what EVERYTHING costs. I usually add on
£££'s to see her reaction 😂

Years ago a neighbour's dd came over to see dd2 when she was born. She then informed us that her mum wanted to know how much money I spent on clothes because every time I went out I returned with bags.

midsomermurderess · 05/04/2022 13:07

If these people have the same hobby, might it not be a not entirely reasonable question? Otherwise, a 'look' might do it

JudgeJ · 05/04/2022 13:09

@Sparklingbrook

I think it's rude to ask, why do they need to know. (If anyone really wanted to know they could just Google it though).

i think I would just reply 'enough' if asked. Or 'just what I wanted to pay'.

Even if you're close to someone it's rude to question them about what they spend on anything, the only one who could ask is the one with whom you share a joint account! 'More than you could afford' is a suitable reply to the nosey ones, fight fire with fire!
ScarlettSunset · 05/04/2022 13:10

Unless I was embarrassed about how much something cost and even thought myself that I'd perhaps overpaid, I'd just tell people what I paid for it.
If I thought I'd feel uncomfortable telling people the cost of something, I probably wouldn't buy it in the first place

Sparklingbrook · 05/04/2022 13:11

I think there's people that have to know, and ask how much people have spent. This is so they can say that the person definitely paid too much, they should have gone to a different place to buy it, or that they should have bought a different sort altogether. Hmm.
I know a couple of people like that.

Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 05/04/2022 13:12

Just tell them it cost many hours working a chat line. Stone faced.
They maybe assume you have had a big win!!

muddyford · 05/04/2022 13:13

I know my father is dying to know how much we paid for our puppy earlier this year. He doesn't want one, so I won't be telling him.

Grenlei · 05/04/2022 13:13

I can see why people might not unreasonably ask how much was it, if they do the same hobby, and it's a specifically adapted vehicle or something. Equally if OP is known for always finding great deals or bargains, they may be asking to find out how much cheaper she got it than the 'usual' price.

I don't think I'd find it an intrusive question but then I freely admit my car cost me £1500 Grin I might be more reticent if I had a more expensive vehicle!

Thehop · 05/04/2022 13:13

Od be tempted with “not for noseys cheese and bogeys”

But probs go with “bang on what I was hoping to pay, I’m thrilled with it!”

Pyri · 05/04/2022 13:13

A vehicle relating to your hobby = a bike?!

OutingHobby · 05/04/2022 13:13

Is it a pedalo?

TheNameOfTheRoses · 05/04/2022 13:15

Hmm… I think it depends who asks and why.

So someone who is into that hobby and is very interested by it, I would have no issue them asking.
Someone who has no connexion, asks out of nosyness etc..l nope. Not OK. If they asked, I’d say something along the lines of ‘really worth the money because ‘

TokyoTen · 05/04/2022 13:16

I wouldn't say - it sometimes generates unwanted discussion and judgement. I just say "too much ha ha" and move swiftly on. They should get the message. If not be blunt.

HipTightOnions · 05/04/2022 13:16

"Money and fair words."

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/04/2022 13:18

You seem to be reacting as if they are asking "how did you afford it" rather than how much it cost. Why is the cost of the item such an issue to disclose?

Everybody knows that that's going to be their next question - or worse, they'll be silently doing the maths in their heads and wondering about/judging your finances and financial decisions without saying anything to you.

I don't know why people are so weird about money. They're just curious about how much xyz item retails for. I wouldn't think twice about answering tbh.

It's just a personal question that is none of their business - unless, maybe, they are close and are genuinely asking for a ballpark figure because they are thinking of buying one. Some things are considered private in general culture (in the UK, at least) and money is one of them.

They might also be idly wondering how often you have sex, or what kind of sexual acts you particularly enjoy; but it would be well out of order for an acquaintance to ask you outright - especially when they can find any number of detailed studies online, or even start a thread on MN for people to self-select and choose either to (anonymously) volunteer the information or simply ignore the question.

OneTC · 05/04/2022 13:18

"Yeah it wasn't cheap but..."

LadyFlumpalot · 05/04/2022 13:18

I don't know, I think it can be asked in a genuine way. I'm very keen on cars and have a nice modified Japanese marque. It's the latest model and quite rare in the UK. I go to track days and car shows and people often ask how much it cost and how much the mods cost as they are genuinely interested. In that situation I happily divulge.

However, when mums at the school gate or colleagues ask I tend to fudge it or just say "enough" or change the subject.

I think it's usually easy enough to tell who's genuinely interested and who is just being nosy or might be snide about it.

I wanna know what your vehicle is now!!

OneTC · 05/04/2022 13:19

If they were interested in/known to me through the sport then I'd tell them

If they were a random then the above comment

Uafasach · 05/04/2022 13:19

In Ireland, we'd say "the guards (police) wouldn't ask you that!".

Crackersnack · 05/04/2022 13:23

'One billion pounds', and move on to say something else, or

'It was an investment, I'm really happy with it' and move on to say something else

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