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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

“How much did it cost?”

170 replies

OrangeStapler · 05/04/2022 12:09

I have recently, after over 5 years of saving, purchased a vehicle that is linked to my hobby. It was a lot of money to me, more than I have ever spent on an item before.
I haven’t seen many people yet but the handful I have seen have been very quick to ask how much it cost.
I’m not sure of their motives but I find the situation really uncomfortable and I think unless you are close to someone (these people are not close friends) then you shouldn’t ask.
AIBU?
YABU: it’s fine to ask.
YANBU: you shouldn’t ask.

Anyone got any ideas for what I can say in the future when people ask? Preferably that don’t make me sound equally rude 😄

OP posts:

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 05/04/2022 14:41

I hate nosey idjits like this...

I share my financial info with a few very close pals, if necessary.

When random people try to find out what something costs... I use one of these...

I stole it
It was free.
my car that I got as a bargain of 5k some years ago... £475 000.
Our flat... On no we don't own... We squat

Mostly it puts people off.... I jave been known when folk are insistent... Nope, none of your business

Xmasbaby11 · 05/04/2022 14:43

I feel like it's quite taboo to ask about money directly, but it wouldn't bother me. I'd love to ask when my wealthier friends buy things like hot tubs, expensive holidays, bonuses, but it's a no-go topic.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 05/04/2022 14:50

Good for you. I hope you have many happy years of use from it.
I had a work colleague who saved all her bonuses for years to buy one ( more the 2k a year type of bonus).
She had a photo of it on her desk! You are not alone.

WouldBeGood · 05/04/2022 14:51

@OrangeStapler I’ve experienced horse ownership (daily relieved that’s over 🤣) , and that seems eminently reasonable, and very useful.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 05/04/2022 14:53

I wouldn't ask someone how much they paid for something.

I'm not nosey.

Electriq · 05/04/2022 14:53

I think ots fine to ask, but if you don't want to disclose I'd reply with 'too much' or a throw away comment that highlights your not telling them

Redbluelellow · 05/04/2022 14:57

Agree op I recently got a promotion and people have openly asked how much I'm on now since when is OK to ask someone's salary?

CrazyTimes123 · 05/04/2022 14:57

I thought Horsebox after the opening line !!!

LBFseBrom · 05/04/2022 15:00

Flipping heck, how rude! You just do not ask how much things cost and if you are nosy, you can probably get an idea of the cost of an item.

Enjoy it op and ignore your friends. It's your business.

CrazyTimes123 · 05/04/2022 15:00

OP - pretty much anyone with a horse, a pony or a donkey, or even knows someone with any of these, or lived up the road from someone who knows anyone with one of these WANTS A HORSEBOX !!

And because they vary wildly in price - £3500 to £335000 - we all ask ‘How much was it ?’

Sorry you are being unreasonable to expect anything else but box-envy !! Enjoy

dworky · 05/04/2022 15:01

I personally don't have a problem with telling others how much things have cost or how much I earn etc., but I know there are many people who consider it intrusive or rude.

Pitafalafel · 05/04/2022 15:01

@Sparklingbrook
Because for good or bad money is an important factor in most peoples lives

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 05/04/2022 15:02

I've had people ask how much mine cost - if it's someone who I think is genuinely interested, I tell them. Otherwise I just say "More than enough!" and laugh.

Tell them you had to sell one of the children, that will shut them up

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2022 15:06

Ask if they're thinking of getting one.
If they say yes then tell them where you got yours and suggest they go have a look.
If they say no, say ah, ok.

They then have to either drop it or ask you again.

At which point you can ask them why do you want to know.
If they say I'm just curious, reply oh. Ok.

Etc

There comes a point where even the most nebby knows they cant ask again.

Either that or tell them a million quid. Or a tenner and a kidney. Or hell, even what it cost! Whatever you feel ok with.

You could even make a joke about how uncomfortable we all are with sharing our financial information.

Just because someone asks you a question, it doesn't mean you have to answer it

Fairislefandango · 05/04/2022 15:07

The “vehicle” is a horsebox. It is far nicer than I ever expected I would manage to buy and I feel a bit self conscious about it.

That's why you don't like them asking then! Because you feel a bit self-conscious about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of - it wasn't a crazy impulse purchase. You thought about it, saved up for it and bought it. You need to embrace the fact that you were willing to spend that money, enjoy every penny of its worth to you, and when people ask how much it cost, say "Absolutely shit-tons of money!" with a big beaming smile (and if they're being really insistent and rude about it add "Far more than you could afford, I expect") .

Gelasia · 05/04/2022 15:10

It is bloody rude. They're trying to get an idea of your finances by asking and make a judgement about whether it's a sensible purchase in their opinion or not. It's none of their business. I would be self-conscious about spending that much too OP (not that it's wrong to, but I still would) and wouldn't want to answer.

I think it's weird that we're supposed to be so open about money these days. Fine if you want to, but it's not odd if you don't.

Snoken · 05/04/2022 15:14

I don't find it at all rude to ask. Presumably these are people you know already, and how much money you spent on an item is not a hugely private matter. It doesn't tell them anything about your most inner thoughts or feelings. Just that you could afford something that you wanted to buy and they are probably pleased for you. It's not malicious. Maybe it's a cultural thing (not British), but to me money is really not a sensitive subject at all.

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2022 15:14

I don't know about anyone else but I hate how much questions because I find them intrusive.

There's no difference between how much did that (expensive thing) cost and how much do you have in the bank, what do you earn, etc.
Why does anyone not financially connected to you need to know your financial information? They may want to know, but do they need to know?

I for one don't want to answer questions about my finances, my purchases, my sex life, my physical or mental health or anything like that. If I don't choose to tell you then it's because it's none of your business!

LampLighter414 · 05/04/2022 15:15

This mentality of refusing to talk about money, salaries, house prices etc is exactly what the elite in society want. It keeps people clueless, wages low and prevents financial education and lifestyle experimentation based on what has worked for others. What is the matter with asking how much something cost and talking about how that was saved/financed etc? The same with salaries, house values and inheritance/family help

MangoBiscuit · 05/04/2022 15:15

Oh dear, when a friend gets a camper, or converted van, I usually ask at some point how much it cost. Never my first question, usually later on in the conversation. It's a genuine interest as I would love to get one myself, and I'm currently researching various possibilities and costs. I hope I haven't annoyed anyone. No one has seemed hesitant to answer, and I wouldn't press if they were.

I think for a horse box there might be an element of people having no basis to go on? I wouldn't have thought the average cost for a horse box was general knowledge, so people might just be curious. If you dodge politely and they push, they're being rude.

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2022 15:19

@LampLighter414

Except that once you disclose this stuff you have no control over their reaction.

Begging for money. Hinting for money. Starting to be a twat because they're jealous. Or, depending on the figures you disclose, looking down on you because they now know they have so much more than you and they're a twat. Judging you for spending so much money etc etc

If people didn't have a tendancy to be arseholes about other people's money, jealous or judgemental, or grabby then maybe sharing info that's none of their business wouldn't feel so much like a bloody awful idea.

NeedleNoodle3 · 05/04/2022 15:22

I’ve just bought a really expensive electric Audi and no one has asked me the price.

tearinghairout · 05/04/2022 15:23

I think it's really rude to ask. I would never ask, and would never tell if I didn't want to. If I wanted to know how much someone had likely paid I'd look for one for sale. When I was about 16 I was working and found a better job. In the staff room I told people I was going, and where. Someone said "What are they paying you?"' and I felt obliged to answer but felt really uncomfortable. Then I had their (unwanted) comments. Never again would I answer something I didn't want to from some nosey parker. I'd say I couldn't remember if I couldn't think of what else to say.

Cherrysoup · 05/04/2022 15:23

It’s worth every penny if you’re out competing a lot. I saw a fabulous Equisport conversion yesterday which made me nostalgic for my boy.

Blanketpolicy · 05/04/2022 15:30

I don't see any difference between someone asking you how much weight does it take, how many horses, what size of engine, how much does something like that cost.

Some people get too hung up about money.

There are somethings that are private such as how much do you earn, how much a gift cost, how big is your pension etc. How much a horse box costs isn't private information.

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