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AIBU?

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Original poster

Told off for serving olives and chicken?

438 replies

justonanote · 04/04/2022 18:14

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds Blush we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie Sad

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

OP posts:
ChristinaXYZ · 04/04/2022 20:15

They're behaving very badly. the mother should have said her child was veggie. Just give a cheese sandwich is not enough info if you don't want your child to be eating certain things. You didn't do anything wrong.

BuanoKubiamVej · 04/04/2022 20:15

The fact that this mum is freaking out over an eight year old potentially choking on olives tells you that she is totally unhinged and unable to process rationality.

Therefore there is no point pondering further the somewhat more complex concepts connected to the vegetarianism or otherwise of the other food provided, because we know from the olives situation that no rational processing could have occurred no matter what you had done.

Zonder · 04/04/2022 20:18

You are an angel, OP! I'm just sorry your actual friend is being horrible.

Whitewolf2 · 04/04/2022 20:18

Wow, yanbu, you did a kind thing and have had it thrown back at you, these are not nice people. Your friend is probably upset as she’s copped an earful as well from crazy veggie lady - not your fault though as if it was important they should have clearly let you know!

LidlMiddleLover · 04/04/2022 20:23

What a ridiculous fus s and she was negligent not to tell you if there is really a medical condition that stops her eating meat.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 04/04/2022 20:28

If she is that precious about what her DD eats she should have made a big point of letting you know. If her DD felt that strongly she would not have eaten the food and had seconds. I suspect her DD was absolutely fine and enjoyed eating in a fuss free environment and only became upset due to her DMs hysterical reaction. It is honestly astonishing the issues that some parents create for their kids around food Blush

BiscuitLover3678 · 04/04/2022 20:29

By 8 I don’t think olives are a hazard if you watch her eat them? Also it’s up to her if she wants chicken.
The way she dealt with it was awful. I’d want a new friend tbh.

SummerySumner · 04/04/2022 20:30

At 8, I would expect the child to tell you she was a vegetarian.

SummerySumner · 04/04/2022 20:30

As in, it’s the parents responsibility, but for the child to remind you when you tried to feed them chicken!

hungrymutha · 04/04/2022 20:30

This is hilarious!

She's bat shit crazy

Her stomach wont be damaged!

She wont choke on an olive any more than a bloody cheese sandwich 🤣

Why didn't the child or mother tell you her dietary requirements

QueenImprov · 04/04/2022 20:31

I'm sorry you were treated that way when you were doing a generous favour for a friend. You sound like a lovely person.

The woman is both unreasonable and rude. It is entirely her responsibility for not making it clear that her DD has strict dietary requirements. Her DD obviously wanted to eat the chicken and enjoyed it, so probably doesn't have much of a say in her vegetarianism I suspect.

Tilltheend99 · 04/04/2022 20:31

The women’s reaction was ott and rude but it is a bit bizarre that you ask what to give her for lunch, she said a cheese sandwich, and you made chicken curry instead.

AxolotlEars · 04/04/2022 20:33

Oh you are such a kind person and really didn't deserve that treatment

Macanncheese · 04/04/2022 20:34

My 9 yo is allergic to peanuts he's been telling all and sundry since he was about 4. This woman is batshit! You went above and beyond for her and she treats you like that? What a CF!!!

Beercrispsandnuts · 04/04/2022 20:35

Kid doesn’t want to be a veggie.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 04/04/2022 20:37

DS had a friend over unexpectedly for tea after school today

I made pasta veg tom sauce with sausage and pepperoni and I [shock horror] didn't ask his friend if he was vegetarian.

What the actual fuck is wrong with people these days? Your friends friend is a lunatic and best avoided. Your friend needs a bloody good talking to.

I'll send DS and his mate round for chicken curry whenever you like OP!

blueshoes · 04/04/2022 20:38

Weirdos. Block them.

tokyo1 · 04/04/2022 20:40

I don't think you deserved her reaction at all. However in your shoes I would definitely ask before feeding someone else's child if they had any dietary requirements. However the mother should have made you aware of this and very strange the 8 year old didn't fess up. Probably really enjoyed the curry Grin

BruceAndNosh · 04/04/2022 20:40

Were you waterboarding the children with olives?

OchonAgusOchonOh · 04/04/2022 20:40

@daisychainsandrainbows

"A cheese sandwich will do fine" does not translate to "my child is strictly vegetarian". YANBU.
Particularly as not all cheese is suitable for vegetarians...
BoredZelda · 04/04/2022 20:43

Strange when she suggested a cheese sandwich she didn’t specify vegetarian cheese.

WorkEvent · 04/04/2022 20:45

My one year old and three year old eat olives (well my three year old did until he became the fussiest child in history anyway).

My three year old is also perfectly capable of telling you what he will eat and saying ‘no thank you’ or ‘I’m not keen on that’.

An 8yo is more than capable of deciding for themselves whether to eat meat.

mum11970 · 04/04/2022 20:45

Bloody woman is batshit. Tell her your crystal ball wasn’t working and Mystic Meg was busy so you gave her the same as you as your friend’s dd. At 8 years old the child was old enough to tell you she was vegetarian and as for the olives, well that is just plain ridiculous.

RosiePosieDozy · 04/04/2022 20:48

Don't worry about it anymore. You did a very kind thing and made a genuine mistake because the child's mother failed to inform you of the dietary requirements. She's probably angry with herself for forgetting to tell you. I would be expecting an apology from this woman and your friend too for introducing you to this rude person.

mathanxiety · 04/04/2022 20:51

I am curious about the arrangements they would have made for childcare if you hadn't stepped in.

You didn't make a mistake.

You are not in the wrong.

They are a pair of feckless, entitled, cheeky fuckers. You did them a massive favour and they have thrown it back in your face.

Lol at the thought of an 8 year old imperiled by a choking hazard.

These women are going to have a very hard time of it when their daughters turn into teens.

In the meantime, you may have lost a friend, but if she has in fact blocked you and taken the side of the other woman over this, her friendship is not a great loss.