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AIBU?

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Original poster

Told off for serving olives and chicken?

438 replies

justonanote · 04/04/2022 18:14

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds Blush we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie Sad

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

OP posts:
CadieSara · 04/04/2022 19:32

She is being totally out of order!! Screaming at you down the phone Shock Don't feel bad OP, you're not a mind reader. She should have said her daughter was a vegetarian. Cheese sandwich or no cheese sandwich.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/04/2022 19:33

Why cook a chicken curry for 2 kids but not your own ds

Doesn’t make sense

If you son Is a veggie then why didn’t you cook a veggie meal regardless

Tho yes other mum should have said her dc was a veggie

Equally the child at 8 should have said he was veggie

AdoraBell · 04/04/2022 19:34

Sounds like my SIL.

She IBU, she should have said they/the DC are veggie.

YWNBU

WinterDeWinter · 04/04/2022 19:34

When someone says 'a cheese sandwich will do her' it means 'don't go to any trouble'. A normal vegetarian parent would have said 'oh she's vegetarian so a cheese sandwich will do her!'.

Olives choking hazard for an 8yo wtf. Poor you OP, what a pair of absolute shits. Fuck them - only thing to do with people like this.

I'd text the friend's friend ' I've had time to reflect and to discuss this with other people, and the universal conclusion is you're an absolute fucking nutter. When I offered you free childcare, why didn't you just tell my your dd was veggie, like a non-nutter would?'

CrazyTimes123 · 04/04/2022 19:35

What a lovely person you are.

They’re batshit. And if your friend has blocked you over this then block her cheeky ungrateful arse right back.

godmum56 · 04/04/2022 19:37

well evidently she ISN'T vegetarian lol

Tryingtryingandtrying · 04/04/2022 19:38

Definitely at 8 a child can tell you they are veggie, you did nothing wrong. The child ate chicken, told her Mum she ate chicken, but didnt tell you she doesn't actually eat chicken!

DisforDarkChocolate · 04/04/2022 19:38

I would never assume someone is a vegetarian if I was told they could eat cheese. Its certainly not always vegetarian.

She's being ridiculous, if your child have any dietary restriction you are responsible for making it clear to adults looking after them. Always.

Tryingtryingandtrying · 04/04/2022 19:38

I actually thought you was going to say she was 3 or 4!

Original poster
justonanote · 04/04/2022 19:41

@Blondeshavemorefun

Why cook a chicken curry for 2 kids but not your own ds

Doesn’t make sense

If you son Is a veggie then why didn’t you cook a veggie meal regardless

Tho yes other mum should have said her dc was a veggie

Equally the child at 8 should have said he was veggie

My son has a very limited diet. Olives though are oddly enough great with him

I cooked 3 of us the chicken curry, so me and the 2 girls. DS had something really boring and very 'meh' in comparison

OP posts:
LumpyandBumps · 04/04/2022 19:41

I can’t believe that when you, as someone she didn’t even know well offered to look after her child for free she didn’t at very least send her with some lunch, snacks and drink.
She was a CF in the first place accepting free childcare and expecting you to be out of pocket to feed her child. She went from being a CF to being a bit mad.

DomPom47 · 04/04/2022 19:41

Don’t ever have them over again even if she apologised. Can’t believe an adult would behave like that- disgusting. Do not over analyse it in your head - you did nothing wrong.

Lollypop701 · 04/04/2022 19:43

@WinterDeWinter fabulous response. Maybe mention your crystal ball was broken?

Plus not all cheese is veggie is it? So you could have poisoned her either way! Hope she had haribo for pudding!

Sorry but if there are diet requirements then up to her or her 8 year old to say. It was great for you to have them… considering it sounds last minute I’d think perhaps your good friend knew you’d offer in fact. They’ve cut their noses off though haven’t they, because it won’t happen again!

Palloom · 04/04/2022 19:44

Sounds like she was still drunk and/or suffering the ill effects of other ingested substances after the wedding.

Forget about it, but no more invites to her child for food. Poor child, suffering from the sins of the parent.

mumwon · 04/04/2022 19:45

ahem - while there is ethical concerns (if she HAD warned you about her dd being vegetarian!) about eating or not eating meat - it will not damage the dc if she eats it - especially if she is used to eating cheese (animal protein doh!) people digestive tracks are built for an omnivorous diet. Mind if you had given her raw meat... whole different issue & reasons
Screaming at someone who is doing you a favour when you had not told them essential information -

Girlmum91 · 04/04/2022 19:47

She's being an absolute bitch to you.

jm901928 · 04/04/2022 19:49

A cheese sandwich will do, she’s veggie by the way.

All it would have took.

I would have apologised for the misunderstanding but pointed out that she was acting like an ungrateful, entitled, child and hung up.

oatlattetogo · 04/04/2022 19:49

@Iwonder08

Think positive, OP. Finally the poor girl got to eat something nice. Perhaps you will influence her asking for a better food at home. Perhaps it was your value add for the daySmile
Yes, because all vegetarian food is famously not nice Hmm
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/04/2022 19:50

Just text her that you're 'extremely sorry that you won't be able to offer FREE childcare again'.

BorderlineHappy · 04/04/2022 19:50

Well it makes perfect sense why cf had no one else to look after her.
Shes off her rocker.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/04/2022 19:51

@babywalker56

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

But if she asked you to give her child a cheese sandwich, couldn’t you have just given her a cheese sandwich? I don’t get it

Because 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine' is pretty much code for 'don't go to any fuss' and not a specific request!

If she wanted her to have specifically a cheese sandwich she could have said 'please can you make her a cheese sandwich for lunch' or.... supplied a cheese sandwich.

However even then, if she had specific dietary requirements such as 'we're vegetarian' or 'my daughter has issues swallowing don't give her things that are a choke risk' she needed to say that, and didn't.

GoodSoup · 04/04/2022 19:51

Ah, so you were supposed to guess she was a vegetarian using your magic powers.

She’s batshit. Just tell her to stop being a twat because you’re not fucking psychic.

stormswiftlysweetafton · 04/04/2022 19:51

She should be embarrassed by her overreaction and ignorance about what will and will not harm a healthy 8-year-old human to eat for one meal. Hmm

Maybe she's upset because her daughter enjoyed the chicken curry a little too much and might express a wish to eat meat again. (The horror!)

It's a shame about your friend, though. She's not proving to be a good friend. Obviously you wouldn't have done this intentionally, but why would you ever assume the child was vegetarian? At 8, she could have told you herself, if she was bothered. I wonder if vegetarianism is her choice or one her mother has made for her.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 04/04/2022 19:51

It wouldn't have occured to me that she was vegetarian especially seeing as her mother said a cheese sandwich was ok. Regular cheese isn't vegetarian.

doeadeeer · 04/04/2022 19:52

You sound lovely. She sounds crazy.

Clearly her daughter wanted chicken otherwise she would have said.