Told off for serving olives and chicken?

[justonanote]

I invited a friend's DD to my house. She and one of her friend's had been invited to a wedding and they were going to go together

I offered to have her DD and casually offered to have her friend's DD too. She jumped at the chance and was very enthusiastic.

This was all a very last minute arrangement and both seemed grateful to have childcare sorted

They were gone before lunch time but would be back before 6 so was told they'd sort dinner.

I briefly mentioned what to give for lunch and my own friend didn't actually say but I know her DD very well so just gave her what I know she would eat. No problems.

However, my friend's friend said 'oh just a cheese sandwich will do fine! Thanks again for having her'

I made a chicken curry. Both girls ate it and then wanted some seconds we also had some olives randomly and a snack in the early evening

Friend's friend rang me once her DD was home with her screaming! I was completely shocked and not sure what she was talking about at first. Then she was cleared and said 'YOU GAVE RACH CHICKEN?! She is veggie!!!!! You could've damaged her stomach! She isn't use to meat'

I apologies profusely and said how sorry I was. It was a genuine mistake. She then said 'And the olives?! A choking hazard aren't they?!'

I again apologised but said I didn't realise it was wrong. I then said I won't have her again so there's no need to worry any further. She started screaming again and I hang up.

This was Sunday night. I haven't heard from my friend (who's child I know better and am actually close with). Her phone goes to VM and WhatsApp messages aren't double ticking

Was I really that Unreasonable? I really really didn't even think she could be veggie

To make matters worse, my own child has a severe disability and he doesn't eat meat. I feel so bad.

I am veggie and have a vegetarian child and its my job to make sure people know. It's the mums fault for not telling you.

Why did you cook lunch? Perhaps the confusion was the mum expected you to just give them a lunch of sandwich, crisps, fruit and so specified a cheese sandwich not imagining you’d be cooking a whole meal.

She shouldn’t have shouted at you but perhaps she also assumed the other mum had told you, and you knew yet gave her chicken.

I always ask “Is there anything he/she doesn’t eat?” That way I feel happier that I won’t break dietary choices. Similar to your question but more specific.

The strange, rude, friend of a friend is probably pissed off because her DD told her what delicious food she'd had at your house. The poor kid is probably yearning for chicken puttanesca now.

I thought you were going to say that she was under 2!

An 8 year old is more than capable of saying if she is a vegetarian. And of eating an olive without choking.

The mother gave you no indication that she was a vegetarian. You could have given her a non vegetarian cheese sandwich.

It sounds as if the vegetarianism is imposed by the mother rather than chosen by the girl, who will happily eat meat when her mother isn't there. I knew an 8 year old like that.

Rach is definitely eating chicken curry and beef burgers at school dinners every day

I can't believe that you are supposed to cut up and pit olives for a healthy eight-year-old either.

Did the visiting kid have swallowing problems too? An eight year old shouldn’t have any issues chowing down on olives, ffs.

If it were my kid, and she had specific food requirements, I would have sent a packed meal for her. What an ungrateful bitch.

YANBU. She should have said if there were specific dietary requirements and, if insisting on a cheese sandwich, she should have provided a packed lunch. I would have assumed the mother was suggesting a cheese sandwich as she didn’t want it to seem like you were required to go to an effort.

It's up to the mother to tell you, not your problem if she doesn't. And if the little girl loved your chicken curry then guess what? She's not a vegetarian. Also--"choking hazard" is for two year olds, not children of school age!

I would have given the child a cheese sandwich because it had been specified and I've had previous experience of people getting funny when their children are fed alternatives.

For the child that would eat anything (mother's words) I'd been giving them a choice of sandwiches and they loved the tuna and salmon ones but their mother didn't like the smell of fish so never served it. Their child always had a tuna jacket potato at school anyway but I'd still committed a huge crime by serving fish.

Lunch for them at home (except Sundays) was always a plain cheese sandwich with the occasional addition of pickle or a sliced tomato or onion. I don't think they realised that other people chose to use other fillings for sandwiches.

I couldn't even get the cheese sandwich rght - I used tomato and spring onion together! served together and the wrong type of onion!!!

Not rtft, but did she really think that you'd have her child for 6+ hours and just give her a cheese sandwich?

Meanwhile, presumably someone has mentioned that maybe she had over indulged at the wedding, hence the screaming?

I hate people.

Sounds like her dd is dying out for some f**good food...one being meat.thats why she stayed silent.i bet she was overjoyed at a chicken curry op .u just made her life! Ugh if she's forced veggie by performative mother too.tummy sensitive for meat ha yes sure sweetie...
Let it go ok.not your circus,not your monkey.

The only children I know who are vegetarian, are the ones who's parents have told them to be veggies,. they don't seem to be able to have much choice with their food.

@2bazookas

WTF? You mentioned food, the mother had perfect chance to say she's a vegetarian and didn't. There's nothing about "cheese sandwich" that implies "we're vegetarian".

It's on her, not you.
The olive objection is beyond daft; 8 yr olds have teeth to chew food,

This.

She's just being completely unreasonable....

If it was that important she would have told you...
An 8 year old is more than able to say they're vegetarian...

Just chiming in with the others to say you are not at fault here.

At 8 she has enough of a tongue in her mouth to tell you she is veggie. Tbf it sounds like she doesn't want to be veggie if she is wolfing down seconds of a chicken curry. And suggesting it could hurt her poor delicate veggie tummy is just ridiculous.

And absolutely nothing wrong with making a child something more nutritious and substantial than a cheese sandwich when they are in your care!

Obviously not that 'allergic'... 😁

Why do women routinely feel 'guilty' for others parents utter lack of care...?!

Some people are arseholes, these are those people.

Woman needed to specify kid was vege, she didn’t, too bad. Not your problem. The kid obviously isn’t aligned as old enough to tell you she is vege but she didn’t and no doubt your lunch made her month.

Your other friend isn’t a friend either, ditch.

Also can’t get my head around an 8yo choking on an olive unless they have certain disabilities. The mum sounds mad as a hatter as well as an arsehole.

Also, so is the “friend” from whom you did the favour who is now avoiding your calls. She would be getting a text message.
Sorry my fucking crystal ball was at the shop getting serviced. Just remember that I was doing YOU a favour. Next time you need anything, call the Samaritans.

She's being a dick head.

I would have taken the cheese sandwich suggestion to mean she didn't want me to go to any trouble. Not something set in stone.

If she wants to enforce dietary restrictions on her child she needs to make this clear to anybody she leaves her child with. Fucking idiot.

I would never think to ask if a child was vegetarian, completely 100% upto their parent to say so.