Teachers- be honest please - do you judge or make assumptions?

[BlingLoving]

And if so, how often are you right?

eg when the kid turns up on day one with crazy curls, no hair tie (especially boys) do you immediately think, like I do, "oh no, this family is going to be a bit precious."

Or if the kid's clothes are consistently stained etc, do you chalk that up to parents having limited cash and taking view that school uniform is to be worn (my approach) or do you think they're just careless?

What about the ones who struggle to spend the time doing homework with their DC? Do you think they're just bad parents or are you sympathetic?

I used to be a TA & would worry about the children attending school with dirty clothes and sometimes they were far too small as well. The Form teacher would also be aware & these pupils would be monitored fairly closely.
Regarding names, it was fairly easy to predict challenging behaviour in both sexes!
Chardonnay would be a good example.
Finally, my own son was incredibly shy as a child. He found some work difficult unless extremely factual. At the age of 9 yrs we were told it would be unlikely for him to attain GCSEs.
He eventually passed 12 GCSEs, 3 A Levels & a degree. Spectacularly incorrect projection thankfully.

@Mumofsend

Its frustrating knowing you are being judged when it isn't always the parents laziness

There’s a big difference between the situations where a child is finding it difficult to learn to read but parents are supportive and another where the child is being denied the opportunity to practice their reading because the parents hardly ever open the book bag. I’d hope teachers can usually tell the difference so I’m sorry if you felt judged.

@RazzlePuff

Helpful to know that there is a lot of judgement going on … about hair. How would any of you know why a child has long hair? What if child wants it long, doesn’t like haircuts, religion or cultural beliefs. Leave the kids alone.

Only issues I have with hair are 1.can the child see properly,and if not then a hair tie/clip/headband/whatever or hair cut is needed and 2. I do prefer it tied up,for their own sake because schools tend to be rife with lice.

It almost seems the OP has a particular child with curly hair in mind tbh.

Do you honestly think that teachers have ANY say or influence on their classes? That teacher did not CHOOSE who she had in her class!
The headteacher makes those decisions and the teacher just lumps it!

I can't believe the things that people think about schools.

Um, primary school teachers absolutely DO have input into who goes into what classes as they move up the school. Who on earth do you think does the initial class proposals? We do! Heads just ask that the proposed splits be explained if there are questions and tweak/sign off, generally.

I’ve come across many judgey teachers and I actually tried to quit my own teacher training over it.

Things like - going through the register to see which child is going to be a handful, it’s never George or Arthur always something like Axel, which actually is usually the opposite.

• also assuming those who are PP or have low income families living on council estates are all work-shy and unintelligent.
• how the black boys are not doing themselves any favours by messing around and it’s no wonder they have such a bad reputation, even though there are white kids whose behaviour is definitely worse.

As someone who lives in a council flat, been brought up in council houses, was a teenage parent etc I get very offended as it’s these sorts of views that stop some children reaching their full potential.

Fortunately these views are very rare and most teachers are less judgemental than most careers as they see a range of people and know you can’t judge a book by it’s cover.

I had a terrible time at school being judged. I passed the 11 plus and went to a very posh grammar school in a posh part of a city. I lived on a large council estate and we were poor .
I could tell I was looked down on by some of the teachers especially my 2nd form maths teacher . She hardly looked at me and never tried to help me . She was shocked though when I came top on a test and moved up a set in maths . She was probably glad to be rid of me .
I did poorly at school even though many years later I found out that I had an IQ of 140 and if helped more should have done very well .

Like I said, I tend to immediately make assumptions about families where the children have copious long curls, never tied back. I just know they're going to be all tinkly laughs and "oh so liberal" while their kids are probably hooligans! grin. x 100 if it's the boys who have these curls. So far I've been right every time but I look forward to being wrong at some point.
I guess I should be grateful my long haired, bobbleless son has straight hair so the teacher doesn't think he's a hooligan 🙄

I have taught for 20+ years in primary and have never had any input over the children I have in my new class for the next year.

We split up and sort out our own classes for the next year and provide eg 3 class lists with a roughly equal number of boys/girls, PP/SEN, ability groupings etc but the head will decide on which new class teacher gets which class list.

I’m not a teacher but a parent and I’d love to know what teachers really think of the projects that most certainly have NOT been made by the child but by the parent!!! They are exceptionally good and stand out a mile! As a parent, I judge these people.

@ThatsNotMyMuffin

I judge the names and manners. We used to joke that on the first day you meet them you can generally rank them up for the by GCSEs they're going to get (I teach a core subject).

I don't ever judge on the looks, I know my own children often end up looking feral despite my best efforts.

@ThatsNotMyMuffin

You can tell by a child’s name what their gcse results will be?

I don't make assumptions. However, there are flags we need to check for. And certain types of abuse is more accepted in certain cultures so you keep an eye out for that too. Do you judge the parent who send their kids in with banned uniform items? Sometimes. There is an obvious difference between the kid in trainers because their parents haven't got the money for new shoes and the kid who's just in trainers. They do get treated differently.

@FourChimneys

chillylizard that's interesting. A Nigerian mum whose child I taught would always pay double for everything with a note to say the extra was for someone who couldn't afford it. I assumed it was general loveliness but perhaps cultural as well?

Oh ffs like you would say this if they were Scottish

Why does a 4-year old need to wear a uniform - must their personality be whipped out of them at any cost?

I'm no fan of uniform, but I can assure you that it doesn't whip personality out of children. 'Don't judge a book by its cover' cuts both ways - clothes do not make personality, whether the clothes are uniform or the most eccentric outfit you can imagine. Some people might choose to express their personality through their clothes, but not doing so does not mean your personality is removed. I notice no lack of personality in the uniformed kids I teach . And when I've been to non-uniform schools,I can't say I've noticed the children having more personality!

You sound horrid! But at least you don’t mind people judging so won’t complain at me judging you

@Anorthernlass

The most judgemental teachers IMHO are the ones without children. Those with kids tend to be more laid back and inclusive. Had kids in schools for 16 years and it's very been rare to find a young teacher who truly gets kids. So thats me as a parent judging teachers lol!

I've met loads of young teachers who are fantastic at their jobs. And a fair few older teachers who are well past their best by dates.

@Myboypink

Primary teacher here- yes i do ! When I hear the names - Mason , Alfie , Billy , Dolly , Ellie-Mai, Demi- Jade - I am already thinking - help !

It is awful but of course I have re judgments . When i hear a parent saying - I ain’t got time to read with him , he does my head in ! I feel so sorry the child and immediately know the sort of parent I am dealing with !

Harsh but true .

Gosh that's nothing compared with some of the names I have seen. And none of that crap went on.

We've had children whose names are spelling mistakes, named after rappers, alcohol, all sorts who have been utterly lovely and very bright.

@DemelzaandRoss

I used to be a TA & would worry about the children attending school with dirty clothes and sometimes they were far too small as well. The Form teacher would also be aware & these pupils would be monitored fairly closely. Regarding names, it was fairly easy to predict challenging behaviour in both sexes! Chardonnay would be a good example. Finally, my own son was incredibly shy as a child. He found some work difficult unless extremely factual. At the age of 9 yrs we were told it would be unlikely for him to attain GCSEs. He eventually passed 12 GCSEs, 3 A Levels & a degree. Spectacularly incorrect projection thankfully.

I'm curious what you'd think you know about my sons and us from seeing Xavier or Castiel on the register 😂 Its confirmation bias. For every Chardonnay that "proves" you can perfectly predict how awful a child is, you'll forget the perfectly behaved Jaiydun and Pryncess

@Caszekey Supernatural fan?😬

@Bigblunder

Honestly, we all know! Teachers and TAs will look at a perfectly working model of Willy Wonka’s factory complete with tiny painted Oompa Loompas and a little lever that pops out mini chocolate bars and will say ‘well done Amelia,’ while knowing the gold star sticker should go right to Amelia’s mum.

However, on the other side of it I think most of these ‘projects’ sent home are a horrible idea. They often don’t work to enhance learning in any way because they’re beyond the independent ability of the child who is supposed to be doing them. All they do is highlight the kids who’s parents can’t or won’t spend time, money, and effort making a tiger’s environment out of a shoebox.

All these parents withering on about their children's hair OMG no one cares except the OP. And lots of little boys with long blond surfer hair are just, well, surfer kids.

@Myboypink That’s really funny! My child is called one of those names and has never had a detention, is in the top set for all subjects and is generally very well behaved at home!

Regarding names, it was fairly easy to predict challenging behaviour in both sexes!
Chardonnay would be a good example.

Unless you are genuinely implying that the name causes the bad behaviour, take a moment to unpack what you are saying there.

@FairyCakeWings because they wanted to be able to join in with their friends games and because the language and topics were more adventurous than half of the drivel they read.

Just because you read a book once doesn’t mean you can’t read it again. They’ve not read all as they aren’t appropriate but the first two are fine.

Its confirmation bias. For every Chardonnay that "proves" you can perfectly predict how awful a child is, you'll forget the perfectly behaved Jaiydun and Pryncess

I also wonder if it’s a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. Obviously if I keep sitting Castiel next to Dean eventually they’ll become friends, but was it destined? Or is it because I made them be friends.

Bit if a joke, but in seriousness, I wonder if that would apply to a teacher who is so judgey and nasty. If they treat Jaiden/Princess badly on the presumption that they’re ‘naughty kids’ obviously that child will then grow to dislike school and will feel themselves to be ‘naughty kids.’ I’ve never judged any kids on their names in any of my groups and there are some naughty Jacks, some naughty Olivers, some naughty Jaidens. Almost like the name makes no difference!