Western men fat phobia!

[rosieej]

*as a generalization

Why have I noticed when I moved to countries like Lebanon, Egypt, bigger women with bigger features /bum, bellies etc are given way more compliments and it's the opposite in the west, it's seen as ideal to be slim there (in general, I don't agree with that ofc) and some men have even told me years ago they can't date me as they'd me embarrassed to be seen with a 'fat girl'(years ago, I'm around a size 18, much more confident now tho)

I find in Ireland and Uk most men don't give bigger women (me) a second glance and ALOT of them have fat phobia yet where I live now people actually stop me to compliment my bigger body and I've never gotten as much attention at this weight..

What is that about! even women stopping to call me a 'duck' which is seen as a compliment or a 'mozza' which is seen as a sexualised curvy woman...and men worshipping big curves etc.

Possibly all due to sex I suppose..

But it's weird. Anyone else noticed anything similar? Or share stories of any experiences with fat phobia in the west. It's major in the west imo. Of course not all men but quite a lot

[quote bigyellowTpot]@InkySquid
It wouldn't surprise me if in places like Egypt some men target overweight women in the same way as 25 year old bartenders 'fall in love' with 50 year old women who've gone on holiday.
This was my immediate thought too.[/quote]
They do genuinely find them attractive as well though I think. Of course, being a white woman is also a thing.

"I agree. The people being dismissive of it won;t have experienced it. "

I haven't experienced fat phobia, but I believe you that it exists. There was a thread recently by an overweight receptionist who said people didn't talk to her because she's fat. I'm inclined to believe her rather than argue she's mistaken.
However, this is not what OP is talking about. It's not discrimination to not be attracted to someone, just like many women prefer tall to short men.

@RobertaFirmino

We are allowed to find attractive people who will be able to give us healthiest offspring. Attraction is based on that.

What about those who are attracted to members of the same sex though?

Or old people? It's clearly not all about reproduction.

@CounsellorTroi

Being tanned used to be called being weatherbeaten!

Isn't that a different thing? Like when you see farmers with red faces and noses from the wind. That's still not really considered attractive.

" Who told people to hate those who are obese? Why are we not looking looking at them with compassion?"

We are. They now have to be called people with obesity rather than obese people.

"Who financially benefits from women losing weight?"

I suppose the weight loss industry, but the food industry will adapt to whatever we ask of it to some extent. You want low fat, we'll make low fat. You want to bulk up, we'll make protein powders and weight gain supplements for weight lifters. If obese was the aim, I'm sure people would make money out of that with special products (not just increased food sales).

It's hardly a phobia. In the western world, a healthy slim figure is attractive and being overweight is not something held in high esteem.

Is there anywhere in the world where fat men are lauded?

@CounsellorTroi

That's still a preference, if a slightly odd one. It doesn't mean that person discriminates against fat people.

They are phobic in the sense of being fearful of gaining weight. Even though they’d need to gain a coup,e of stone before being anything approaching fat.

That's not what phobia means here though. It's not like a phobia of spiders, it's more like when people are said to be homophobic, it means they discriminate against gay people, not that they are scared of them.

It's not a phobia.

@Changename111

Going back to cultural standards of beauty.... I'm 5'0 and very petite build (size 3 feet - to show I've a small bone size!) And whilst in the UK this is generally considered too short to be attractive, I find I get a lot more attention from Mediterranean cultures. Spain and Portugal in particular.

WTF? I'm 5'1 with size 3 feet (though I'm not sure what that's supposed to imply because I have wide shoulders and hips) and I am generally considered attractive and get hit on more than I'd like, tbh. I'm in my 40s and occasionally get interest from teenagers. (Who I'm assuming have just watched some stupid shit about MILFs.)

"I find I get a lot more attention from Mediterranean cultures. Spain and Portugal in particular."

Where the men are also a bit shorter...

@Gwenhwyfar You don't think that the reason we find opposite gender attractive is to do with reproduction?Gosh...the answer is too long but please at least Google it.

I think fatphobic can work if you're using the same logic in photophobia - an aversion or dislike of rather than fear which makes more sense.

@lljkk

ps: China scary too thin, arms I mean

Lovely body shaming there.

We are allowed to find attractive people who will be able to give us healthiest offspring. Attraction is based on that.

Its also about those who will be likely to say yes and give consent to sex. For many men that means limited choices and not the Marilyn Monroe lookalike. Some men may have to choose on the basis of vulnerability to their advances.

In the West models are expected to be skinny so it is reflected in fashion and cultural norms.

In other cultures being large gives status. Presumably it is viewed as not starving and implies affluence.

Men can hardly talk over here as there are more overweight men than there are overweight women. The pot calling the kettle black!

I just don't find over weight people attractive- just as I don't find smokers attractive or other people with traits that put me off, it is what it is- you can't force people to fancy someone and the label them as phobic if they don't

@bjjgirl

I just don't find over weight people attractive- just as I don't find smokers attractive or other people with traits that put me off, it is what it is- you can't force people to fancy someone and the label them as phobic if they don't

But again, here we have actual prejudice.

Its fine not to find someones body type attractive, but you have lumped a body type with actual traits e.g smoking, because to you fat people must be lazy/greedy etc.

A trait isnt a body type.

@Gwenhwyfar

"I find I get a lot more attention from Mediterranean cultures. Spain and Portugal in particular."

Where the men are also a bit shorter...

Touché

Going back to cultural standards of beauty....
I'm 5'0 and very petite build (size 3 feet - to show I've a small bone size!) And whilst in the UK this is generally considered too short to be attractive, I find I get a lot more attention from Mediterranean cultures. Spain and Portugal in particular
This is the opposite to my experience, when I was in my 20’s I got a ridiculous amount of attention from men, often very tall guys, I think they liked it that I was small.

Imo there is a big difference between discriminating in general against people with a certain physical characteristic or appearance and having a preference for particular characteristics and not others when it comes to physical attraction.

For example, I doubt anyone would call me blonde-phobic if I had a strong preference for dark-haired men and never dated fair-haired ones. People can't help who they're attracted to. Trying to shame people into widening their dating pool to include groups or characteristics they aren't attracted to is a very slippery slope indeed, and it's one that has been gaining traction of late.

It's not a phobia to find someone less /not attractive op. Come on...

@ArtVandalay

It's hardly a phobia. In the western world, a healthy slim figure is attractive and being overweight is not something held in high esteem.

Is there anywhere in the world where fat men are lauded?

Tonga?

Despite what men think. What would you be if you didn't have to change anything to get there ? Would you be overweight or are you just trying to accept it?

I have big thighs like Kim K, but a flat bum ! I grew up when Kate Miss was a massive icon and that made me feel chunky and muscular in comparison. Now I feel more comfortable that different body shapes are accepted, but I am a bit overweight at the moment. I don't feel healthy. My BMI is higher than the heathy category and my waist measurement, so I'm working on it. How my body is a at healthy weight is how I should be and if some men like it and some don't so be it.

Butteryflakycrust33 But again, here we have actual prejudice.

Its fine not to find someones body type attractive, but you have lumped a body type with actual traits e.g smoking, because to you fat people must be lazy/greedy etc.

A trait isnt a body type.

So you are trying to say that I am not allowed to select my partner on the basis of their trait of enjoying the same sport (running) and healthy lifestyle as me? I'm sorry, but I am attracted to men that can impress me with their ability to run fast and do well in races. Thats definitely a trait and not a body type as I don't mind if they are a heavier built sprinter or a skinny lean distance runner. No way am I dating some guy who's going to be puffing miles behind me whining about how tired he is and how he'd rather be down the pub!

Of course people with similar interests can select on the basis of having things in common! Theres not some rule out there that you have to say yes to anyone who asks you or go through the Equality Act to find a suitably acceptable excuse to say no!

lljkk
ps: China scary too thin, arms I mean
Lovely body shaming there.

It’s a photoshopped image for ffs not a real person’s body!