Western men fat phobia!

[rosieej]

*as a generalization

Why have I noticed when I moved to countries like Lebanon, Egypt, bigger women with bigger features /bum, bellies etc are given way more compliments and it's the opposite in the west, it's seen as ideal to be slim there (in general, I don't agree with that ofc) and some men have even told me years ago they can't date me as they'd me embarrassed to be seen with a 'fat girl'(years ago, I'm around a size 18, much more confident now tho)

I find in Ireland and Uk most men don't give bigger women (me) a second glance and ALOT of them have fat phobia yet where I live now people actually stop me to compliment my bigger body and I've never gotten as much attention at this weight..

What is that about! even women stopping to call me a 'duck' which is seen as a compliment or a 'mozza' which is seen as a sexualised curvy woman...and men worshipping big curves etc.

Possibly all due to sex I suppose..

But it's weird. Anyone else noticed anything similar? Or share stories of any experiences with fat phobia in the west. It's major in the west imo. Of course not all men but quite a lot

@Ozanj

Are you white? If so that has more to do with it. In a lot of the resorts in the middle east men are poor and see marrying a white woman as a ticket to fianancial security for themselves and their families. And men aren’t particularly picky. I don’t look white and have been to all the countries mentioned by the OP and in subsequent posts & there definitely is fat phobia to non-white women in those countries. When I was a size 10 I got told I needed to lose weight in Morrocco & that it wasn’t healthy, yet my size 24 white friend was revered. Then when these guys found out I was British the charm offensive dialled up

Thank you.

Take it from an Arab. If you (generic you) as a White Western woman, go to an Arab country and a proportion of local men chat you up/turn on the charm offensive...and you attribute that to your body type, complimentary or not....you are...naive.

"you have lumped a body type"

Overweight is not a body type though is it? Would it be a body state perhaps? Body types are things like ectomorph etc.

"You don't think that the reason we find opposite gender attractive is to do with reproduction?"

I don't remember writing that.

I have been to Egypt many times. Mostly at the time of my trips I was middle aged and overweight . Plenty of unwanted attention from Egyptian men a good few years younger than me. I wasn’t daft enough to think than they were overwhelmed by my beauty. They were either poor and thought every western woman was rich or they had no access to their own women and were looking for sex and unfortunately there is plenty of stupid women who would give it to them so they thought everyone was fair game. I love Egypt as a country but quite frankly the attitude of the men leave a lot to be desired.

Not read the full thread but have lived in Lebanon, and have spent time in Egypt and Morocco. Generally any man in a conservative country who is speaking to a female stranger is looking for something. Probably sex. Doesn't matter what your body type is. I have red hair and green eyes. In Lebanon I would be approached often by men looking for sex as they thought I was Russian or Ukrainian. Which was a "polite" way of asking if I was a prostitute.

Travelling through Egypt our tour guide in the Sinai approached my friends for sex.

Travelling through Jordan I booked a driver for several days who was also looking for sex. He actually knocked on my friend's hotel room door asking if she wanted company.

It's nothing about body type but opportunity.

In some countries and cultures, being on the larger side is viewed as beautiful because being well-fed is a sign of wealth.
I remember seeing a clip of a documentary where a mother - I think it was in Sudan but I could be wrong - was basically force feeding her 11 year old daughter a ridiculous amount of high calorie porridge every day in an effort to “fatten her up” to improve her marriage prospects.
It was heartbreaking to watch this little girl crying because she was in pain most of the time from being so full.
I suppose it’s all swings and roundabouts depending on where in the world you’re from! Different cultures have different beauty standards. I’m not saying that it’s right by any means, but it is what it is.

@Gwenhwyfar

"you have lumped a body type"

Overweight is not a body type though is it? Would it be a body state perhaps? Body types are things like ectomorph etc.

Exactly, being overweight isn't a body type.

@Mercurial123

Not read the full thread but have lived in Lebanon, and have spent time in Egypt and Morocco. Generally any man in a conservative country who is speaking to a female stranger is looking for something. Probably sex. Doesn't matter what your body type is. I have red hair and green eyes. In Lebanon I would be approached often by men looking for sex as they thought I was Russian or Ukrainian. Which was a "polite" way of asking if I was a prostitute.

Travelling through Egypt our tour guide in the Sinai approached my friends for sex.

Travelling through Jordan I booked a driver for several days who was also looking for sex. He actually knocked on my friend's hotel room door asking if she wanted company.

It's nothing about body type but opportunity.

Sex, money, or benefits associated with your presumed passport. Its not a compliment.

This is not a generalization about Arab men. Arab men are as varied as any other men. My own father was a wonderful person and respected women as full humans. Its a generalization about a specific behaviour of hitting on White female tourists.

I lived in Egypt for nearly 4 years and ended up marrying one. Generally speaking I'd say they do like a larger lady.

@Deux

I wonder if some of it is connected to the idea that to be fat means you have ample money for food and lots of it. It doesn’t really apply in the west.

Just musing really. I used to live overseas and the locals would tut-tut at my slimness and suggest my DH was withholding money and food. I was asked why I wasn’t fat. To be fat meant you were wealthy and had lots of food.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head.

In the West wealth and slimness tend to go hand in hand. In less wealthy societies it’s the reverse.

I'm not fat, I live in the UK, I have had men leering over my tits and making comments on my arse since I hit puberty.

I have never seen a man run screaming, terrified of a fat woman walking down the street, I have not seen children cry and mothers try to shield them at the sight, I myself have never felt any level of dread or fear at the sight of a fatty, so I am not sure what country your talking about but the UK definitely isn't fatphobic

Try being 55. You're invisible to the male population altogether!

@VelvetChairGirl

I'm not fat, I live in the UK, I have had men leering over my tits and making comments on my arse since I hit puberty.

I have never seen a man run screaming, terrified of a fat woman walking down the street, I have not seen children cry and mothers try to shield them at the sight, I myself have never felt any level of dread or fear at the sight of a fatty, so I am not sure what country your talking about but the UK definitely isn't fatphobic

Because that isn't what fatphobia means.....?

@Libertybear80

Try being 55. You're invisible to the male population altogether!

I've been fat and I've been (am) 50s and ime, weight trumps age as an invisibility cloak. Two stone heavier, barely a glance. Now 52 and currently slim, loads of attention. Tbf, I do suit my age, and I particularly didn't suit my weight, so it may be not be the norm.

@Libertybear80

Try being 55. You're invisible to the male population altogether!

Nearly there and not invisible at all!

Being invisible to the male population is mostly a blessing, I find.

why are some posters saying larger women are seen as being more fertile in some countries where infact this is untrue as being over weight can seriously affect fertility as it can mess hormone levels up. as can being very under weight. Over weight Women are always advised to loose weight if they are having problems trying to conceive.

why are some posters saying larger women are seen as being more fertile in some countries

Presumably because having malnutrition probably doesn't do wonders for your fertility. If being well-fed is generally a sign of wealth and health, it's not surprising that being a bit over-fed would still be seen as more positive than under-fed.

@Fairislefandango

why are some posters saying larger women are seen as being more fertile in some countries

Presumably because having malnutrition probably doesn't do wonders for your fertility. If being well-fed is generally a sign of wealth and health, it's not surprising that being a bit over-fed would still be seen as more positive than under-fed.

Malnutrition isn't weight specific so...

Most thin people aren't malnourished anyway, they either eat slightly too little or are just young and will grow out of it.

ime, what happens when you're mid 50s is you still get leched at and flirted with... by men age 70+. Which doesn't bother me, tbh. They can dream on. fwiw, I truly don't get out much. Am pretty sure I could spark a flirtation with most males age 40+.

DH (< 50) would also be offended if told I'm not supposed to be fanciable just because I'm 50+.

ps: adult DD is anorexic so yeah, I do have opinions about underweight physiques. I gather there are complicated views in Asia about ideal body shapes.

Some men like bigger women some don't. My Dad was infatuated with Dawn French! my Mum used to tease him about it but not because she was overweight.

@Libertybear80

Try being 55. You're invisible to the male population altogether!

I know and I like it. I used to get a lot of attention when I was younger and I didn’t always like it but now no one looks twice and I couldn’t be happier.

@SVRT19674

I understand you mean curvier figures, not fat. In the very old days if you had to choose a bride one was thin and the other curvier, you would choose the curvier as she would have been considered healthier and more fertile. I remember the older ladies describing a thin young woman as "dry" (seca, in Spanish) no meat on her, probably bad quality eggs for producing babies. Also if your hips were narrow, bad for giving birth. Wide hips and curvy figure was the be all and end all. That went out of the window decades ago!

If this is aimed at the OP, no she isn't talking about curvier figures (you can be size 8 and curvy), she specifically talked about being a size 18 and called herself fat.

@Carpy899

Some men like bigger women some don't. My Dad was infatuated with Dawn French! my Mum used to tease him about it but not because she was overweight.

Dawn French was married to Lenny Henry is her pro-fat phase and said he had a cultural preference for large women.

Because that isn't what fatphobia means

"A phobia is an overwhelming and debilitating fear of an object, place, situation, feeling or animal. Phobias are more pronounced than fears. They develop when a person has an exaggerated or unrealistic sense of danger about a situation or object."