Western men fat phobia!

[rosieej]

*as a generalization

Why have I noticed when I moved to countries like Lebanon, Egypt, bigger women with bigger features /bum, bellies etc are given way more compliments and it's the opposite in the west, it's seen as ideal to be slim there (in general, I don't agree with that ofc) and some men have even told me years ago they can't date me as they'd me embarrassed to be seen with a 'fat girl'(years ago, I'm around a size 18, much more confident now tho)

I find in Ireland and Uk most men don't give bigger women (me) a second glance and ALOT of them have fat phobia yet where I live now people actually stop me to compliment my bigger body and I've never gotten as much attention at this weight..

What is that about! even women stopping to call me a 'duck' which is seen as a compliment or a 'mozza' which is seen as a sexualised curvy woman...and men worshipping big curves etc.

Possibly all due to sex I suppose..

But it's weird. Anyone else noticed anything similar? Or share stories of any experiences with fat phobia in the west. It's major in the west imo. Of course not all men but quite a lot

Is it just men.? I'm a western woman and I'm not attracted to fat men and wouldn't look twice.

A tall fit man though, I would defo glacé at secretly.

I think it's more preference than phobia. I rarely fancy obese men

It's actually a misogynistic status symbol thing. Having an over weight girlfriend or wife in certain African states etc, signifies wealth, because they can afford to feed "their woman". So not exactly a flattering thing, but one I was very grateful for when I've travelled alone in places like this. As a skinny mini, I got absolutely zero hassle from men. Result 😆

""Morocco in my 50s? Invisible." Really? That's surprising. I've found that unfortunately the street harassment hasn't stopped."

I live in a European city with a Moroccan population that admits it has a huge street harassment problem (before people accuse me of being a racist). It has got MUCH less as I've got older. Maybe there's a change over time as well, not sure...

Basically men see women as things they'd like, or not like, to have sex with.

The best thing we as women can do is not give a fuck.

[quote PurgatoryOfPotholes]Beauty standards are culturally specific. They only thing that doesn't seem to change, is the impact they have on women.

Did you know that in Mauritania, families literally force-feed teenage girls to make them fat, so that they can attract a husband?

insidearabia.com/ancient-leblouh-tradition-endanger-lives-mauritanian-women/[/quote]
B*eauty standards are culturally specific
*
I came on here to say this but I suspect it will fly over OP's understanding regardless.

"Equally with 28% if the UK adult population obese (and a further 36% overweight), it can't be true that UK society has a phobia about fat people, can it?"

There would be a lot of people cowering in fear wouldn't there.
Seriously though, phobia here means discrimination and not fear. I think there is some discrimination against overweight people so I don't agree that fat phobia doesn't exist, but simply not fancying someone because they're fat is not itself fat phobia.

You need to take a closer look at cultural differences. Where women are regarded as socially, financially dependent on and controlled by men (fathers or husbands) their sexual attraction /fertility/ domestic skills, have commercial value to the status of their male "owner".

A fat curvy woman can signal that her father or husband is rich enough to feed her well. She may be a better cook (or manager of kitchen staff). In a poor country, a well-fed woman with big breasts may be seen as better breeding stock. More fertile, more able to produce and feed babies, and therefore more valued than scrawny underfed women.

In countries where women can be financially independent of men (fathers, husbands), they don't need male approval for the same reasons.

@SpilltheTea

Why do you care what men think?

Maybe she's heterosexual. Maybe she's even single and looking for a man.

@rosieej

...it's seen as ideal to be slim there (in general, I don't agree with that ofc)

You don't agree that being slim is ideal?

Do you also disagree that being a non-smoker is ideal, for example?

Being overweight is never ideal and it's sad that so many people are determined to brush obesity under the carpet and blame others' perception of it as being the problem.

"Less than 2% of people classed a underweight in the UK and 28% overweight. So which do you think is the bigger issue?"

I suppose you mean obese. Overweight is about 60% isn't it. It's a huge (sorry!) public health problem.

If you're out and about in Morocco as a woman without a man at your side you are very very visible, looks and age are irrelevant.

Being overweight is never ideal and it's sad that so many people are determined to brush obesity under the carpet and blame others' perception of it as being the problem.

Being moderately overweight is not the end of the world health wise.

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/02/210202085451.htm

@Rosieej

Lord, give me patience. I know it's not a phobia, im just using that word that's been thrown around instagram all the time. What I mean is why do western men seem to find bigger women less attractive than middle eastern men do?

And the amount of times I have been mocked for being fat in the west compared to the East.

Are you the OP? The answer has been given already. Fat = rich in some countries and poor in others. It's a cultural association. Think of tans, they used to be look down upon as a sign you had to work outside. Now they show you can afford a foreign holiday and are sought after, unless fake. Go to east Asia and they are still looked down on.

@CounsellorTroi

There are definitely fat phobic women here. I remember someone posting they would feel chubby at a BMI of 18.5.

That's still a preference, if a slightly odd one. It doesn't mean that person discriminates against fat people.

Being tanned used to be called being weatherbeaten!

That's still a preference, if a slightly odd one. It doesn't mean that person discriminates against fat people.

They are phobic in the sense of being fearful of gaining weight. Even though they’d need to gain a coup,e of stone before being anything approaching fat.

"Its also not the same to be skinny shamed. Because your body type is still revered as the ideal, you can still shop everywhere, society is set up for your benefit."

Not if the person is underweight.

@user75

I grew up between the UK and the Caribbean. In the Caribbean I was told to be paler and fatter, in the UK browner and thinner. Whatever represented wealth really. Where poor people are hungry and darker from being o/s working on manual labour then the opposite is attractive - when the rich are thin and brown from foreign holidays then that is.

Just cross-posted with you user.

I wouldn't fancy a very fat or skinny man. Just in the middle is fine! Doesn't make me phobic.

I guess what is attractive to the male gaze in different cultures tells you something about those cultures. It’s not going to be the same the world over. It’s not really a surprise that in some places women are sexually harassed for being overweight. It just depends on the values given to how women look.

Unfortunately, women who don’t look attractive to men are often treated badly by the whole of society. In the west there is a lot of hatred towards overweight women, from both men and women. Who told people to hate those who are obese? Why are we not looking looking at them with compassion? Who financially benefits from women losing weight?

@Lockheart

I really hate the word "fatphobia". It's trying to tag onto the same language as serious discriminatory issues like homophobia. It's not the same thing in any way.

Fatphobia is a discrimination which has serious consequences for fat people.

I highly recommend the book Food Isn’t Medicine & the podcast Maintenance Phase. Fat people die or live miserable lives because their health conditions aren’t taken seriously. If you are fat & go to the doctor with severe migraines, infertility, urine infections, period pain etc etc etc you are told “lose weight” & serious conditions which are entirely unrelated to weight are missed.

"I find that in a lot of countries where being a bigger woman is the beauty standard (and I grew up in a country like this) - it's because women are seen to only be vessels of birth. So a body shape is deemed attractive based on child bearing hips or any indication a woman has the resources to bear many many many children. Women's health isn't given any importance, they aren't encouraged to be active or exercise or even comfortable."

Child bearing hips was mentioned to me by a farmer's son at school. They did at that time prefer non-skinny women, but that was still not a preference for overweight and being overweight is not good for fertility, so this argument doesn't make much sense to me.

It's true that where I live the populations that have large families do have large women, but I think that's more to do with the experience of carrying 10 children than a preference among the men.

[quote DrSbaitso]I think you can even get fined in Japan for being over a certain weight.

Sigh.

www.jacksonville.com/story/news/reason/2016/09/16/fact-check-it-illegal-japanese-residents-be-overweight/985445007/[/quote]
I said ‘I think’ not ‘I know’ and seeing as there’s even an article on it I obviously didn’t pull it out of thin air. “Sigh” 🙄 Hate when people do that sigh Cr ap.