Page 9 | To be furious mum is alone in hospital?

EmmaH2022 · 2022-04-03T23:15:26+00:00

I know I'm not Mum is in a hospital corridor going into hour 6 after a suspected heart attack They wouldn't let me go with her Did they inject everyone with insanity? She's 83. I should be worried that she's going to die, but something about dying on a trolley gives me the RAGE. I wish I'd been here. I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one. No one answers the phone at the hospital obviously. What happens if i just turn up in the morning?

Imaysnapandfart · 04/04/2022 12:30

I had to take my mother to A&E over Christmas. They wouldn't let me in but I stood my ground and argued that she was unable to advocate for herself and needed me there. They eventually let me in and I was able to be with her which was just as well as she was waiting in A&E on the trolley for over 9 hours.

Once she was admitted, trying to get ANY information out of the ward was impossible. There were never any doctors available and the nurses were understandably rushed off their feet. No blame on the staff as they're doing what they can, but the system is broken.

Ozanj · 04/04/2022 12:31

@EmmaH2022

Still on a trolley

If she’s still on a trolley after a heart attack then it’s possible she is being dismissed. Just go there today & demand to speak to someone. If people don’t listen then go directly to the PALS office

OMG12 · 04/04/2022 12:31

@bitemyarsenic

They are hiding behind covid, why are they more afraid to catch covid at work than anyone else, or during their social lives? It’s becoming clear that this is to take away the annoying relatives who might question them.

Do you seriously think a junior nurse or doctor is making the policies here?
Honestly you are nuts if you think staff on the ground are deciding these things🤣🤣🤣
We are told what to wear, ppe, what the current policy is on visitors and expected to stick to policy.
Quite frankly its the poor admin staff who are getting major abuse about this, every single day.
Every single person I know has carried on trying to avoid Covid in and out of work because we are so short.
Some areas have whole teams off with covid right now.
We are still subject to the PPE/ isolation rules and thats if you dont become unwell.
Many staff havent returned from the previous strains and we are seeing staff off unwell for several weeks with this strain.
But according to the government its no longer " a thing"

Yep technically I am “nuts” thanks or probably more properly suffer from PTSD with linked anxiety and depression as a result of extremely poor and negligent care by the NHS with contributory factors of undermining, dismissive and humiliating treatment by frontline staff. Things I experience repeatedly every time I come into contact with them. It’s not the policies but the behaviour and attitude of staff which makes things worse.

I’m sorry if that’s an inconvenient truth but it’s something experienced by 1000s each year - just look at the findings re Shrewsbury - that is not an isolated trust.

bitemyarsenic · 04/04/2022 12:31

@BattenbergdowntheHatches

Many staff havent returned from the previous strains and we are seeing staff off unwell for several weeks with this strain

Isn't it interesting how lengthy Covid absences appear to correlate with extremely generous sick pay? No long Covid at all in my private sector multinational. Funny that.

My colleague is now unable to walk having been in ICU. Many are off with PTSD or Long Covid. Did your private sector multinational expose you to high viral loads or people dying in ICU?

bitemyarsenic · 04/04/2022 12:36

Yep technically I am “nuts” thanks or probably more properly suffer from PTSD with linked anxiety and depression as a result of extremely poor and negligent care by the NHS with contributory factors of undermining, dismissive and humiliating treatment by frontline staff. Things I experience repeatedly every time I come into contact with them. It’s not the policies but the behaviour and attitude of staff which makes things worse.

I’m sorry if that’s an inconvenient truth but it’s something experienced by 1000s each year - just look at the findings re Shrewsbury - that is not an isolated trust.

Its not an inconvenient truth -its what I have spend the last 20 odd years battling against!
Read my posts!

ChiswickFlo · 04/04/2022 12:37

I think the Ockenden report is so damning beside it clearly shows how HCPs treat patients with utter disregard and callousness.

That's not anything to do with funding

That's systemic abuse.

Ozanj · 04/04/2022 12:38

Isn't it interesting how lengthy Covid absences appear to correlate with extremely generous sick pay? No long Covid at all in my private sector multinational. Funny that.

One of my Bils said similar. He’s a consultant in A&E & said it’s the ‘usual suspects’ who were all taking extended time off for Covid. Then, as restrictions relaxed, the hospital has become stricter by demanding regular PCR tests & evidence, by way of a consultant letter (not a GP) when someone has long covid / complications, and covid related absences seem to have improved a lot.

RIPWalter · 04/04/2022 12:38

@BattenbergdowntheHatches

Many staff havent returned from the previous strains and we are seeing staff off unwell for several weeks with this strain

Isn't it interesting how lengthy Covid absences appear to correlate with extremely generous sick pay? No long Covid at all in my private sector multinational. Funny that.

I was on annual leave when I had COVID and didn't even bother to report it to work as my 10 days was up before my next shift, and therefore didn't claim my annual leave back as I would be entitiled to do. I also worked a 12 hour shift with no break the day before I became unwell and tested positive, which I'm sure didn't help with how ill I got.

So no it is not funny, we are not taking the piss, and considering me and my colleauges are as front line as we get (paramedic), dealing with exposure to the sickest patients in a confined space, I only know of one in my area still off on with long covid.

ChiswickFlo · 04/04/2022 12:39

I can see mum if I book a 1 hour slot and am lft negative.

My concern is those who can't now afford the lfts and therefore won't be able to visit loved ones...?

PrivateHall · 04/04/2022 12:44

@BattenbergdowntheHatches

Many staff havent returned from the previous strains and we are seeing staff off unwell for several weeks with this strain

Isn't it interesting how lengthy Covid absences appear to correlate with extremely generous sick pay? No long Covid at all in my private sector multinational. Funny that.

Or maybe it is hitting staff harder who are burnt out, have already had covid before, have worked tirelessly whilst others sat at home? Doing extra shifts during AL to try and cover the service?

But I guess its more fun to constantly bitch about those same people than to try and understand the position they have been put in

NottheSAHP · 04/04/2022 12:44

@jlpartnerrs someone did campaign, several years ago, for vulnerable older people to have a carer with them in hospital. David's campaign or something like that, named for her dad. So it should already be the case that vulnerable adults should be able to have a carer with them, precisely so that they remember to eat, can get to the loo, don't get overly confused etc. Really upsetting if hospitals are not allowing this. Really sorry for your loss

bitemyarsenic · 04/04/2022 12:44

@ChiswickFlo

I think the Ockenden report is so damning beside it clearly shows how HCPs treat patients with utter disregard and callousness.

That's not anything to do with funding

That's systemic abuse.

Agree But I think you missed out a word.

Some HCPs

PrivateHall · 04/04/2022 12:47

@ChiswickFlo

I can see mum if I book a 1 hour slot and am lft negative.

My concern is those who can't now afford the lfts and therefore won't be able to visit loved ones...?

Totally agree, surely care homes should be able to issue families with them, knowing that they are being used for a 'good cause'? I am sorry that you are being put in this position.

DaisyDreaming · 04/04/2022 12:48

Most private hospitals don’t have a&e and wouldn’t treat a suspected heart attack so taking her to a standard a&e is the right thing to do for her chance of survival. It’s so hard being apart from a loved one when they’re in a&e and you’re worried

DaisyDreaming · 04/04/2022 12:52

It seems a bit hit and miss when it’s a vulnerable person. I got taken in by ambulance and was allowed a carer to follow behind and once in a room in majors I was allowed them with me. My very elderly relative was always allowed someone too. I wasn’t allowed the carer once admitted. I wish I had been allowed visitors BUT was glad not to have the exposure to other peoples visitors. There was a patient on the ward who was quite unwell and distressed and she was thankfully allowed a visit

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/04/2022 12:56

The NHS has to realise it is there for patients and their families

Dear God, it's atitudes like this which lead to violence against staff

And which attitudes are they which lead staff to lie and close ranks over mistakes made, even if they involve killing a patient?

Sockbogies · 04/04/2022 12:57

Whilst I was sad at the time, fortunately my lovely Nan died before the pandemic, in the days when the NHS didn't have these challenges.

That said, she had a fall and was admitted to hospital, and her care was appalling. Complete neglect when it came to food and hygiene. On one visit I could smell something bad, only to find someone had changed her and removed a soiled pad and let it on her tray. Right in front of her face in an open carrier bag. When I pointed this out the reaction I got was a shrug of shoulders. The medical care was also poor, like many on this thread she went in after having a fall, and left having lost 1/3 of her body weight, and appearing to be completely traumatised. My cat gets better care from the vet.

I dread to think what went on behind closed doors during the pandemic if they were this blasé knowing she would have visitors. No one seemed to care. No heroes on the ward where my Nan was.

ChloeHel · 04/04/2022 13:12

@BattenbergdowntheHatches

Many staff havent returned from the previous strains and we are seeing staff off unwell for several weeks with this strain

Isn't it interesting how lengthy Covid absences appear to correlate with extremely generous sick pay? No long Covid at all in my private sector multinational. Funny that.

Completely agree.

Mariposista · 04/04/2022 13:29

Not unreasonable at all. The whole 'not having anyone with you' policy is putting a lot of elderly people off seeking much needed medical care. I hope your mum is ok.

Blossomtoes · 04/04/2022 13:35

Having witnessed the shitshow my dad, aged 99, was put through in hospital, I fought tooth and nail to prevent my mum from being admitted. Fortunately the care home staff were on the same page and she died in her own quiet, peaceful room.

Care for old people is outrageously bad. It makes my blood boil that some of the frailest people in our society are treated in such an uncaring, disrespectful and - in some cases - downright cruel and abusive way.

I’m now classed as “elderly” and hope against hope I never find myself in hospital.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/04/2022 13:43

Excellent post at 10.06, Qazwsxefv, especially with the details about tech systems being totally inadequate

In light of the constant howls about "underfunding" this reminds me of the absolute disaster when the wonderful new I.T. system was planned - £10 billion at the last count I believe, and naturally it didn't work

At least they couldn't blame a lack of money for that one; instead what little concern there was fell upon management structures and commissioning, which probably explains why it was swept under the carpet so fast

2bazookas · 04/04/2022 13:52

I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one.

There is absolutely nothing to stop you arranging her transfer in a private ambulance to a private hospital.

Though frankly, very few private hospitals in UK offer either the trained staff or specialist equipment to run Intensive Care, High Dependency Units, or overnight cover by expert cardiac specialists. So you might want to reconsider.

yellowblanketban · 04/04/2022 15:38

It's threads like these that just make me want to hang up my NHS hat for good. People hate us more than teachers these days. I'm done with it all.

Chanel05 · 04/04/2022 15:52

OP, I hope she is okay. My nan was in this situation herself last year and it's so upsetting.

@yellowblanketban as a teacher, I find that an odd comment really.

yellowblanketban · 04/04/2022 15:53

@Chanel05

OP, I hope she is okay. My nan was in this situation herself last year and it's so upsetting.

@yellowblanketban as a teacher, I find that an odd comment really.

I mean on mumsnet - not in real life. All I ever see on here is teacher hate and now it's shifted to the NHS.