To be furious mum is alone in hospital?

[EmmaH2022]

I know I'm not
Mum is in a hospital corridor going into hour 6 after a suspected heart attack
They wouldn't let me go with her
Did they inject everyone with insanity?
She's 83.

I should be worried that she's going to die, but something about dying on a trolley gives me the RAGE. I wish I'd been here. I would never have let them take her to the hospital. I could at least have tried a private one.

No one answers the phone at the hospital obviously.

What happens if i just turn up in the morning?

@EmmaH2022 Call the hospital's PALS/Patient Experience Team. They are incredible and will do whatever is possible to help you and your mother

We really lost the common sense with covid restrictions, didn't we? I am sorry this happened to your family. Wishing your mum all the best.

@yellowblanketban

It's threads like these that just make me want to hang up my NHS hat for good. People hate us more than teachers these days. I'm done with it all.

Most of you are doing a bloody brilliant job. Even on the ward that made my dad want to throw himself out of the window the nursing staff were great. The problem was the consultant who all the nurses clearly hated and urged me to complain about. She was an absolute bitch and I have no idea why she chose elderly care as a specialty.

I always tried to be a supporter of the NHS. In an ideal world I still would be, until last year my Dad died alone and probably frightened last year. He was 87, had late stage COPD, and was increasingly frail and confused.

The stupid Covid restrictions meant that we had been unable to visit him. We couldn't be with him at all until the hospital decided that he was actually dying. Then they phoned and invited us in but it was too late. He had already gone by the time we got there and all we could do was say goodbye to his dead body. He didn't even have Covid and neither did any of us.

OP and others on here do have all my sympathy. It is a shit situation.

This nonsense from the NHS has to stop, Covid or no Covid. It is cruel and inhumane that very vulnerable people cannot have a trusted family member or carer with them in hospital. Far too many of them just end up starving and neglected because of it.

It has to stop.

I took my MIL to an appointment for a CT scan. She had a brain tumour removed several years ago but last year became confused and disorientated. Her GP (who wouldn't see her) after talking to us on the phone arranged the scan as she was concerned the tumour had regrown.

At the door of the hospital security stopped us and said "patients only". I asked if they expected 90 year old MIL, using a zimmer frane and confused, to be able to walk in by herself and find the neurology dept in a large hospital. She barely remembered her own name. The chances of her negotiating her way around was zero.

Apparently they did. I had to ask for a manager before I was allowed to accompany her.

Where is the common sense in all this?

Hospitals are terrifying now in much the same way they were terrifying in victorian times because people never expected to recover, particularly following surgery 😥

Someone needs to put the NHS out of its misery because that's what it's causing the population, particularly the frail and vulnerable.

I hope you manage to get access to your poor mum Emma

Barrow agree.

Rescue mission complete. Mum now at home. She is very perky for someone who spent 18 hours on a trolley in the end. She wound up comforting a 30 something lady on a trolley who couldn't stop crying. That lady ended up calling her boyfriend to get away.

I don't think she had a heart attack. I think the same vortex of medical crazy that made me have every organ checked for cancer - for no reason, while people with actual lumps were probably on waiting lists - was in full swing in her case too.

The lesson you learn is not to go to A&E if you can avoid it.

She was offered meds she's not allowed to take too. Medical records still not accurate.

No one called me. Just going in was the right thing to do.

[quote NottheSAHP]@jlpartnerrs someone did campaign, several years ago, for vulnerable older people to have a carer with them in hospital. David's campaign or something like that, named for her dad. So it should already be the case that vulnerable adults should be able to have a carer with them, precisely so that they remember to eat, can get to the loo, don't get overly confused etc. Really upsetting if hospitals are not allowing this. Really sorry for your loss [/quote]
Yes, its called John's Campaign and its still going:

johnscampaign.org.uk/

You can contact them or two other organisations:

Rights for Residents

www.rightsforresidents.co.uk/campaign/

And Relatives and Residents Association

www.relres.org

The three organisations are now campaigning, spearheaded by Ruthie Henshall, for people in any healthcare or care setting to have the legal right to have an essential caregiver with them. Its to be a right on the patient/resident, not a duty on families or friends. There was a meeting with a cross party group of MPs and peers at Westminster a few weeks ago on this.

Giles Sheldrick at The Daily Express and Eve Simmons at The Mail on Sunday have been supporting this campaign. For instance, there was this article today:

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/159095/care-homes-watchdog-dying-relatives

There should be reasonable adjustments for any person, with protected characteristics under The Equality Act, which should mean they could have a carer with them in hospital. There is also The Human Rights Act, which should apply here.

I would have thought that it would be easier for any hospital staff, to have a carer looking after a patient, so far as they are able, to do basic tasks like ensuring the patient is eating or drinking or wearing their oxygen mask; and which especially would in the case of patients with dementia help prevent "distress behaviour" (previously known as challenging behaviour)? As for Covid, I would have thought elderly spouses or middle aged grown up children, are less likely to be indulging in risky behaviours like going to pubs/restaurants/night clubs than young staff?

Harriet Harman is Chair for the Joint Committee on Human Rights; and they are currently conducting an enquiry into "Protecting human rights in care settings", which covers residential care homes, hospitals and supported housing:

committees.parliament.uk/work/1495/protecting-human-rights-in-care-settings/

It is too late to submit evidence to the enquiry, but you can watch or see the transcripts of oral evidence sessions on the above web page; or you could write to your MP.

Phew, I'm glad she's escaped. I had to escape once. The hospital sounds like a right trial. They shouldn't be giving her meds she can't take either. You automatically expect everything to go wrong these days.

I'm pleased for you and your mother regarding the good outcome, Emma.

Literally half the nurses on my ward have been off with covid over the last couple of weeks, we are begging people to come in from annual leave just so the ward is safe. Every single visitor is an extra person potentially bringing covid to us. Why can people not see this? Is everyone just so intrinsically selfish now that they give so little of a shit about the people looking after their friends and relatives? Obviously end of life, dementia, learning dis, children... a diff scenario but otherwise healthy patients who can articulate for themselves, no, relatives and friends please stay at home and stop taking frustrations out on the people getting ill themselves to look after them!!!

Greenqueen40 as a 70 something woman who is partially deaf i am terrified of the possibility of going to hospital without someone with me for support. While NHS staff have been under unbearable pressure since the pandemic began those of us who are particularly vulnerable must be heard please. Let us have a family member, friend or carer with us in the unfortunate event of being ill in hospital.

'Every single visitor is an extra person potentially bringing covid to us. Why can people not see this? Is everyone just so intrinsically selfish now that they give so little of a shit about the people looking after their friends and relatives?'

Covid is everywhere so whether it is a relative 'bringing covid to you' or staff socialising on their days off and catching it, is irrelevant.

Patients have every right to see a family member, on a busy ward with a couple of HCAs doing the heavy work a family member can actually help and ensure a patient gets help with eating and drinking for example. So get relatives to do a LFT wear a face cover and show some humanity .

@sunshinesupermum but I'm clearly not talking about people like you. If you have a medical need for support- hearing issues in your case - I highly doubt any HCP would deny you assistance.

[quote Greenqueen40]@sunshinesupermum but I'm clearly not talking about people like you. If you have a medical need for support- hearing issues in your case - I highly doubt any HCP would deny you assistance.[/quote]
I’d suggest every 80 something needs an advocate.

Same here last month. 78 yr old dad in corridor after coming in ambulance, waited 17 hours to be see them
A further 7 before he was moved

I so agree JaniieJones A relative or friend can actually help a patient.

@Greenqueen40 covid is going to be with us in perpetuity. We can't close hospitals to visitors for ever going forwards.

I was admitted in lockdown....saw no one for a week apart from nurses and doctors in 'hazmat suits' . It was actually quite calming that there were not loads of visitors on days out invading the place. The staff didn't have to attend to relatives demands so had more time for patients. Should be like that all the time. I was an emergency admission in resus, so was pretty ill. The staff were amazing

[quote DrDreReturns]@Greenqueen40 covid is going to be with us in perpetuity. We can't close hospitals to visitors for ever going forwards.[/quote]
Needs to be limited in my opinion. No one needs 10 relatives around the bed causing issues, noise and mess...especially the type of visitor who sees it as a day out, brings a curry and asks when the tea round is coming!

@Lemonlady22 yes I agree with that. But a patient should be allowed a nominated person to be able to visit them.

@DrDreReturns we are all aware covid is here for the long haul, we have been looking after patients with it daily for the last 2 years. However currently there is a new spike which is knocking out staff left right and centre, leaving less staff to care for those that need it. How can people possibly not accept that visitor restrictions is a massive step towards halting the spread to the people who are looking after their vulnerable relatives!!

[quote DrDreReturns]@Lemonlady22 yes I agree with that. But a patient should be allowed a nominated person to be able to visit them.[/quote]
This!

No one expects crowds of people should be allowed in, but one nominated person is absolutely reasonable. Yes in 6 bedded bay that's another 6 people but do what some places do and book slots in advance to allow SD, do LFT'S, whatever. Use your initiative and look after the mental well being of patients for goodness sake.

@EmmaH2022

Barrow agree.

Rescue mission complete. Mum now at home. She is very perky for someone who spent 18 hours on a trolley in the end. She wound up comforting a 30 something lady on a trolley who couldn't stop crying. That lady ended up calling her boyfriend to get away.

I don't think she had a heart attack. I think the same vortex of medical crazy that made me have every organ checked for cancer - for no reason, while people with actual lumps were probably on waiting lists - was in full swing in her case too.

The lesson you learn is not to go to A&E if you can avoid it.

She was offered meds she's not allowed to take too. Medical records still not accurate.

No one called me. Just going in was the right thing to do.

You don't think she had a heart attack? Did they not say?

[quote Greenqueen40]@sunshinesupermum but I'm clearly not talking about people like you. If you have a medical need for support- hearing issues in your case - I highly doubt any HCP would deny you assistance.[/quote]
I wouldn't bet on it. I wasn't allowed to accompany partially deaf DF in A&E. Disabilities apparently don't matter any more to our 'amazing' NHS.