To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

[eggstremereaction]

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

Dh is a nob it wasn't 2 year olds responsibility to safe guard the egg!

@Happyhappyday

Honestly both of you were not great. Toddler needs to understand sometimes sad things happen, still have you, how about we have other nice treat etc and we don’t always get what we want. I would not have gone to get another. Also not reasonable of your husband to just shut the kid up, need to help kid understand it is just an egg but it’s ok to have feelings about it, appropriate ways to show it etc.

God I pity your kids if you're ok with them losing something special to them in a way that was completely out of their control, after they had looked forward to it for ages, and you then berate them for feeling upset.

Presumably if someone smashes up your car or steals your wedding ring you'll be cool with that.

Bloody hell it was a lump of (barely) chocolate not a loaded gun! The kid and the dog are fine. It was likely a momentary oversight which all toddler mums even the perfect MN brigade experience occasionally. Hakuna your Matatas

Sometimes children have reactions that are over the top and not appropriate and you just have to say no and deal with the consequences and tantrums. Sometimes, they are just very upset and confused and sad and you have the opportunity to fix it. Being able to do that is one of the lovely moments of parenting. We were out yesterday and went to a fancy bakers to get a sausage roll. Dd2s bottom lip quivered and tears welled up when she saw they had run out and had to choose something else so we went out of our way to a supermarket for sausage rolls. Totally unnecessary but she was so happy and grateful. Not spoiled, just enjoying something lovely happening.

@Chouetted

I'm more concerned about your dog!

Me too!

Yeah, your H is in the wrong. Crying is a normal emotion at any age when faced with disappointment. I cried when my dog ate the brownies I had ordered specially for Mother's Day last year. A few years before that, I cried when the dog ate the chocolate shortbread biscuits I'd spent all afternoon making for Christmas. Absolutely nothing wrong with crying in any situation that makes you sad - it's so normal and natural!

*I don't leave dog around our food, he's just very good at opening doors when we're not looking (even the ones you pull towards you).

Your H sounds really unkind. He needs to read up on child development, no way can a two year old know any of the concepts he was bandying about

What's needed here is supervision, not training. It's pretty breathtakingly irresponsible of OP to leave an overexcited toddler with a bowl full of chocolate in a room unsupervised with a dog. Toddlers and dogs shouldn't be left alone together in any case, then you throw food in the mix, and food which is potentially lethal to dogs to boot, of course it's not going to end well.

This ^

I don't think anyone is disagreeing your husband dealt really badly with this, but if we are being asked to critique parenting, this ^ is just breathtakingly irresponsible long before we get to how either of you acted afterwards.
Have you not followed any of the news stories where dogs have attacked small children - including the 2 yr old who died this week. In each and every one of these cases the dogs "had never hurt anyone before"........

First your husband is a twat. Given his age your child is allowed to throw tantrums your husband is not. He did exactly that when saying you could not get another one. But most importantly I'm concerned for the dog. Chocolate is toxic to them.

You're not soft, you actually have a parenting strategy. You created an open environment for your toddler to share their feelings, and let them understand how to handle the situation in the future.

Yeah your husband is a dick. Of course a two year old is going to be super upset that the egg that he was soo excited about was ate by the dog. I would have replaced it too. I think you handled it fab, you explained that mummy won't always be able to replace things so he needs to be careful. I mean it wasn't as tho he fed it to the dog then got upset it was gone.

@SnackSizeRaisin

A more appropriate reaction from your husband would have been to comfort and then distract the toddler if he didn't want him to have another egg. Not shutting him in until he stopped crying. I would probably have bought another egg for the child though.

This was my thought. I probably would have bought another egg because I'm soft. But I think a good parenting approach would be to help DS through the disappointment over losing the egg. Shutting down his feelings doesn't teach him anything.

You did the right thing. Poor little chap.

Your dh is horrible.

I suggest you get him all excited about a night of sex and then let someone else shag you.

Prick.

We both know the egg and the toddler aren't the problem.

He sounds a nut job. Ltb

I would have done the exact same as you !!!

I felt really upset reading of your DH's reaction- how sad that he treated your DS this way, how cruel. Undermining his parenting, me hole! Sanctimonious, controlling knob!

Op husband needs online parenting courses still ltb

Children this young can't really be rationalised with, a two year old is not going to listen to some earnest sober explanation of why they cannot have the chocolate they were looking forward to so much. My ex partner used to upset my son like this, you should not stand for it. Your husband thinks he is dealing with an adult, your son is only out of babyhood!

If you're more worried about a dog eating an insignificant amount of cocoa, than a two year old being locked behind a stair gate whilst being called pathetic, you need to have a word with yourself.

OP, sorry your husband is a bully, has he reacted like this with you or your son before?

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg.

This is so horrible. I want to give your poor little boy a hug myself. Honestly just cruel of your husband.

A grown adult would be upset if a dog ate their kinder egg! Your DH is being awful but more to the point he is being completely clueless about how toddlers' brains actually function. If it's behaviour he is concerned about get him to read the actual evidence on what's effective cos it sure as hell isn't his approach.
Ask him to read the Whole Brain Child book.

“Breathtakingly irresponsible”
“Early exposure to chocolate”
It’s a kinder egg hun not crack cocaine 😂
The histrionics on this thread. Peak mumsnet.
OP hope your boy enjoyed his egg in the end.

Your H is being ridiculous, he would really benefit from some research on the developmental stages of babies. You on the other hand did exactly the right thing, well done mum! Trying to stifle a child’s natural emotions can be so damaging! S*it, I would be kicking off if the dog ate my kinder egg!!!

Your 'D'H was calling your 2yo pathetic? Really, really awful!

My dad used to call us pathetic or useless frequently. It's really damaging obviously.

Your 2yo sounds really lovely and very cute! Your DH not so much.