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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was totally inappropriate parenting?

490 replies

eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 15:55

Couldn't resist the username opportunity whilst name changing but genuinely upset about what happened

2 year old had a kinder egg as a treat, had spent hours going on about it, was very excited, literally shaking and stamping his feet when the lady in the shop passed it to him at the tills (yes over reaction but he is little) anyway I don't let him open until we get gone and he's very good doesn't try and open it the car, keeps saying "I excited" and giggling, was very cute and dh and me were both laughing finding it cute

Got home, I went and got a bowl to put it in, gave it to toddler, he was happy and took it into the lounge and broke it up in the bowl. Came running in with the toy asking me to open it which I did but doing so left dog unattended around egg which he'd left on the sofa so he went running back in to eat it and it was gone and he was hysterical, so upset. I thought it was fair enough, he's two! He was excited. Yes it's only a chocolate egg but he's tiny and isn't going to react like an adult would. Dh said it was ridiculous, huge overeaction, started saying his excitement in the first place was too intense for chocolate, unhealthy reaction blah blah blah. I went to go back in the car and get him another one, shops only 5 mins and it was like 60p it doesn't matter and it'll make him happy and dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting. So toddler just kept crying. He was saying he was sad and wanted an egg, in the end I said to dh I'm just going to get one and I jumped in the car.

Got back and could hear screaming from the driveway. Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying. Pathetic it's an egg. I went and got toddler and took him downstairs and gave him his egg and said it is completely ok to be upset, he's not in any trouble and to just be very careful to not leave food around the dog so this doesn't happen again as I won't always be able to go get a replacement. Dh really annoyed that I undermined him and said I'm too soft and he's going to be a spoilt entitled boy. He just wanted a bloody kinder egg.

Was I unreasonable or was this really inappropriate on his part?

OP posts:
DogDaysNeverEnd · 03/04/2022 16:06

My mil used to give quality street to the family lab, and the story I read a couple of years ago was a pug that was I'll after 4 chocolate oranges which tbf would make me a little queasy. Except the dog will be fine. DH needs to get a grip, kid goes nuts for something exciting is to be expected and I'd be more worried if DS didn't care.

SnackSizeRaisin · 03/04/2022 16:07

However I wouldn't have bought a new egg as it was sadly gone.

Imagine you were out in a pub having a drink with a friend (which you very rarely do and were really looking forward to) and accidentally knocked over your drink before you had drunk any. Would you have said "I won't have another drink as sadly it's gone" or would you cut yourself some slack and buy another drink?

Pumperthepumper · 03/04/2022 16:07

I can’t believe he would allow a two years old to be that upset just to make a point. What a fucking bully.

TimeSlipMushroom · 03/04/2022 16:07

Maybe point him to information/books on parenting toddlers and make sure he's learnt sonething before ever leaving him only with your DS again

HellToTheNope · 03/04/2022 16:08

Yes if your dog ate it he needs looking at

No, he doesn't. One Kinder egg will not make a dog sick. Ignore the hysteria, op.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 03/04/2022 16:08

That's just horrible to read.
Your poor little boy.
He is just 2!!!!!!

What's wrong with your husband????

EvilPea · 03/04/2022 16:08

Your dh is a twat. At 2 that egg was like the world to him.

Hm2020 · 03/04/2022 16:08

Can you keep the dog and toddler and leave the h? Seriously though anyone treated my 2 year old like that or me and they’d be out our life’s.

NoSquirrels · 03/04/2022 16:08

dh said if I dare go get him an egg I am completely undermining his parenting

Insane.

It was an accident that the dog ate the chocolate. How is that ‘undermining his parenting’? Why did he want his son to be upset?

Sort it out quick between you otherwise you’re going to get more and more frustrated parenting together.

luxxlisbon · 03/04/2022 16:09

YANBU. Your husband is a dick.

Suprima · 03/04/2022 16:09

There is hardly any cocoa in a kinder egg

The dog will be fine

Original poster
eggstremereaction · 03/04/2022 16:09

A kinder egg would not be enough chocolate to poison most dogs unless perhaps an absolutely tiny one (he's not) or they already had a lot of cocoa built up in their system.

But thanks for reassurance that I'm not the one in the wrong - I will stand by it. I can be a bit soft with him but he's a kid and they need a bit of softness sometimes while they are so tiny and learning how the world works.

OP posts:
Holly60 · 03/04/2022 16:10

Your reaction was perfect - well done. Your husband was nasty and he is going to struggle a lot with parenting if this is his attitude to a 2 year old getting justifiably upset.

He may need some parenting courses or books etc.

Margotshypotheticaldog · 03/04/2022 16:10

I think it depends on the size of the dog? We had this with greedy setter, complacent 5 year old and a wispa bar. The vet said for big breeds it would have to approz 5 30g bars to cause poisoning (can't recall exact grams)
Your husband sounds unpleasant. Hope dog and toddler are ok.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 03/04/2022 16:10

I don't agree with undermining good parenting, your DH was displaying an instance of shit parenting, you can't really undermine shit parenting.

I would have gotten DD another egg in these circumstances, just like I would if she accidentally dropped an icecream in the park or knocked over a drink.

You don't punish for genuine accidents.

Boscoforever · 03/04/2022 16:11

When your DH says you are undermining him, tell him that he is undermining you. Why does he get the final word?
We had a King Charles Cavalier in the 80s, and he never went a day without scoffing chocolate. Lived a long and happy life. This was before everyone knew chocolate was bad for dogs.

PonyPatter44 · 03/04/2022 16:12

Ffs the amount of cocoa in a Kinder egg is not going to kill a dog! Some people here really need to get a grip

The DH's unpleasant over-reaction to a disappointed toddler is really concerning, however. Frankly, I would be losing my shit at him (away from toddler, of course) and letting him know in no uncertain terms, that he is never to bully our son ever again, and his version of 'parenting ' is one step away from abuse.

Antarcticant · 03/04/2022 16:12

Agree with pp - keep an eye on your dog and be prepared for lakes of doggy diarrhoea. Hoping your dog is OK.

HardbackWriter · 03/04/2022 16:12

Toddler was in his room (behind closed stair gate) dh saying you can come out when you stop crying.

What on earth does he think this teaches him? What an awful, dysfunctional lesson about emotions and about the people who are suppose to support him to teach a two year old.

HardbackWriter · 03/04/2022 16:14

It is such classic MN that people are more concerned about the dog than they are about a father bullying a two year old.

VioletCharlotte · 03/04/2022 16:14

I would have done the same OP, your poor little boy.

The dog will be fine. Mine has stolen chocolate on a few occasions ( including a whole chocolate Santa from teen DS stocking!)

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 03/04/2022 16:15

Your 'd'h was being a cockend.

Fancy punishing a 2 year old who was upset over his treat being taken away ffs.

Hope doggo is okay.

LetHimHaveIt · 03/04/2022 16:15

Ffs, a Kinder egg is approximately 20g of milk and white chocolate. The dog would have to weigh about a kilo for that to do any harm. Does your dog weigh about a kilo, OP?

Your husband sounds like a dick. Being that much of a shit to his two year old?

Ellie5341 · 03/04/2022 16:15

I'd have done exactly the same.

Mine is much older than yours and still gets like that over chocolate Wink

DebtheSander · 03/04/2022 16:16

Something tells me that your DH may well be the type to tell your son to “man up” when he’s older. Not great.

I think that you should leave it for today and let things settle. But there does need to be some strong conversations on how you both plan to parent your dd in the future. I do wonder what parenting looks like to your DH.