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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised at the cost of childcare

199 replies

RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 09:45

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
Hell0G00dbye · 03/04/2022 21:54

Sorry- the £300 a month is only over summer obvs!! Less for Easter etc

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/04/2022 07:03

@Hell0G00dbye

Sorry- the £300 a month is only over summer obvs!! Less for Easter etc
£50 a wk for summer holiday care?
HelloDulling · 04/04/2022 07:20

Would it not be easier just to get up earlier & do breakfast yourselves?

However early one gets up, the school day starts at a fixed time, 8:40 in the OP’s case. She could stay up all night and the school would still be unable to admit her child until that time. Breakfast Club provides childcare so that people who need to get to work can do so, the cheap carbs are a bonus.

Tillsforthrills · 04/04/2022 07:41

@AskingforaBaskin

You didn’t say it directly but it’s implied. So many threads about ‘extortionate’ childcare costs but when they’re broken down they’re anything but.

Our CM upped our fees this year and sent out a form showing how much little she earns after costs such as food, tax, toys etc are factored out.

When I mentioned it to her she said she felt uncomfortable increasing her fees because of the hoo ha about childcare costs and felt like she had to explain it to parents.

In the discussion of childcare costs it’s rarely mentioned how badly paid they actually are. So it needs to be clearer that it’s the Governments fault and not theirs.

Classicblunder · 04/04/2022 08:05

Sorry don’t understand what you tone deaf means. Anyway, I thought it was a straight forward question up at 6 all done by 7 30 I would have reasonably thought

What a helpful suggestion. I am going to get up at 3 am, feed my 2 year old all three meals and then I won't need nursery!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/04/2022 08:08

[quote Tillsforthrills]@AskingforaBaskin

You didn’t say it directly but it’s implied. So many threads about ‘extortionate’ childcare costs but when they’re broken down they’re anything but.

Our CM upped our fees this year and sent out a form showing how much little she earns after costs such as food, tax, toys etc are factored out.

When I mentioned it to her she said she felt uncomfortable increasing her fees because of the hoo ha about childcare costs and felt like she had to explain it to parents.

In the discussion of childcare costs it’s rarely mentioned how badly paid they actually are. So it needs to be clearer that it’s the Governments fault and not theirs.[/quote]
It’s always brought up- just like the cost of care homes vs the Salary of careers. It’s just that the narrative is always cleverly steered steered at unreasonable parents

RidingMyBike · 04/04/2022 08:16

The costs seems to vary a lot across the country. In our old location (just outside London) we were paying £6 for breakfast club (open from 7.30am) and £14.85 for after school (open until 6pm). So almost £21 a day but could also use tax free childcare to reduce it.
Holiday clubs vary a lot - down there we paid between £25 and £32 per day for hours varying quite a bit and had to take a packed lunch. Where we've moved to it's £33 per day but that includes all three neals and snacks so it's a much better deal.

kitcat15 · 04/04/2022 08:21

@Caspianberg

Au -pair? This is an ideal job for an Au -pair. Might involve children having to share bedroom a while longer to make a bedroom free. But they generally cover up to 20 hours per week. And help with small household bits for kids. So you could get someone to help Mon-Fri 2-6pm - 20hrs. They would help kids laundry at home, collect all children and take home to play and sort simple dinner each day. In holidays they would still be around to help, or arrange different hours then. For the same or less that after school club
🙄
HardyBuckette · 04/04/2022 08:40

It’s always brought up- just like the cost of care homes vs the Salary of careers. It’s just that the narrative is always cleverly steered steered at unreasonable parents

Yep, and meanwhile we wonder why we have a skills shortage.

AskingforaBaskin · 04/04/2022 09:13

[quote Tillsforthrills]@AskingforaBaskin

You didn’t say it directly but it’s implied. So many threads about ‘extortionate’ childcare costs but when they’re broken down they’re anything but.

Our CM upped our fees this year and sent out a form showing how much little she earns after costs such as food, tax, toys etc are factored out.

When I mentioned it to her she said she felt uncomfortable increasing her fees because of the hoo ha about childcare costs and felt like she had to explain it to parents.

In the discussion of childcare costs it’s rarely mentioned how badly paid they actually are. So it needs to be clearer that it’s the Governments fault and not theirs.[/quote]
No. It wasn't implied. You are just assuming to fit your narrative.

Childcare feeds are crippling and extortionate. And that is not right. And we absolutely should be rioting over them.

Fedupbuyer · 04/04/2022 09:30

At my dc’s school,breakfast club is £8 per child,after school club is £9!

RidingMyBike · 04/04/2022 09:32

Do any private companies use the school facilities for after school clubs? We've found those are more reliable than school clubs (as you're paying for it and it's a different company) so runs every week but it's not a lot. Eg DD does dance in the school hall one day a week. It finishes at 16.35 and costs £5 per week so a lot cheaper than ASC.

Also worth checking with the school but TAs children at the school we were at came in early with their parent and either sat in the office waiting area looking at books or the little ones went into Reception and did some playing. I think the school staff took it in turns to keep an eye on them?

RueDesIrlandais · 04/04/2022 09:37

Actually, yes, there are some clubs which are run privately and, now you say it, they do seem to be less prone to having to be cancelled...

We've (like everyone) had a lot of staff sickness recently...Well, for the past couple of years really! So obviously, things get cancelled. The privately run ones maybe don't have as much exposure to illness or have more cover or whatever.

I don't think there are any for Yr R kids though, so I'd have to send dd2 to ASC, but potentially could use the private activity clubs for dd1.

OP posts:
RueDesIrlandais · 04/04/2022 09:38

Can't bring dcs in with me unfortunately, as I won't be working at their school

OP posts:
brainhurts · 04/04/2022 10:06

Op I totally understand we're your coming from.
Your property only going to earn around £60 a day and childcare will take £40 .
I would look at DH doing some drop offs and after school activities, maybe a fellow mum could help , childcare vouchers.
It's so hard and demoralising

Hell0G00dbye · 04/04/2022 10:30

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I only work 3 days a week and the school holiday club is £15 a day so with lunch its only around £50! Even if she goes to the more expensive £25/day one its still a hell of a lot cheaper than nursery (I appreciate some holiday clubs are a lot more £££!)

Dreambigger · 04/04/2022 10:35

Take the job and give it a go for a while. You Will know after a year whether you like it and want to continue...you could get more qualifications and then maybe a job in your kids school? Office admin and TA are very different so I would give this a go first. The costs are high but worth the investment to get you on this career path. You can always leave and go back to other roles. No having to pay for childcare over the summer is invaluable!

Spikeyball · 04/04/2022 10:42

It would be at about £50 a hour for ds (severely disabled) if I could find suitable people to do it so there would be no point in my considering paid work.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/04/2022 11:02

[quote Hell0G00dbye]@OnlyFoolsnMothers I only work 3 days a week and the school holiday club is £15 a day so with lunch its only around £50! Even if she goes to the more expensive £25/day one its still a hell of a lot cheaper than nursery (I appreciate some holiday clubs are a lot more £££!)[/quote]
Yep - I’m lucky the club my eldest is in this week is only £49 a day- the other one is £70 - aka £5 cheaper than a nursery but without any food.

Somuchgoo · 04/04/2022 11:10

Breakfast club is maybe £3 (i rarely use it) and are school club until half 5 is £5 (it's less if you want to pick up earlier).

So I could have care from 8-5.30 for £8. I can book it in advance or anything upto the night before.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/04/2022 11:12

I think @mogsarus is from different era when you could just leave small children on playground waiting for school doors to open. Schools have a clear you can’t drop them off until x time policy. You can’t leave them unsupervised. Breakfast club is just another world for before school childcare. It’s frustrating as you pay for full session even if you just need 10 mins.
I can see there are less options post covid. The cheap & cheerful wrap around and holiday care have gone by the wayside or the ones that survived have put prices up because everything has gone up and they can because demand there.

Phormiumjester2 · 04/04/2022 11:19

Our breakfast club is £4 if you drop after 8am but £7 if you drop at 7am and want a proper breakfast.

It's £7 after school to 6pm. No natter how long you stay.

So £70 a week if you were full time. Nowhere near nursery fees.

A lot of money to spend but for the private providers I think it's fair. Whether it should be subsidised is a different matter.

Dixiechickonhols · 04/04/2022 11:45

The pricing differs wildly between schools though. It’s not just north v south. And parents have little choice with state school allocation eg you can’t say I want x school as wrap around is £15 a day 7 - 6 versus y school where wrap around is £25 a day and only 8 - 5.30. But it’s difference between viable to work and not particularly is 2 plus children.

ancientgran · 04/04/2022 19:03

@Classicblunder

Sorry don’t understand what you tone deaf means. Anyway, I thought it was a straight forward question up at 6 all done by 7 30 I would have reasonably thought

What a helpful suggestion. I am going to get up at 3 am, feed my 2 year old all three meals and then I won't need nursery!

There was a comedy, Britas Empire maybe? The receptionist kept her twins in a drawer in her desk. I don't think we ever knew how old they were. Maybe she did the feeding them all their meals before she got to work?
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