To be surprised at the cost of childcare

[RueDesIrlandais]

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

I live in Ireland where there's no breakfast or afterschool clubs. People here just have to pay a childminder. We pay a childminder 200 euro a week to collect, drop and mind our 7 year old. The only good thing is we don't pay her during school holidays. We have a private arrangement and do cash in hand which is what everyone does because there aren't many registered childminders here. 800 a month in term time is a big bill for us, but in 5 years she'll be able to get to school herself so it's finite. We just have to suck it up.

@OwlinaTree

I assume the ta job is not at your own children's school?

No, it's not unfortunately. Same area but a half hour walk or thereabouts

I'd take the role. In time, a vacancy may come up at your DC's school which would make things much easier.

The alternative - a non term time only job will cost you a lot more in childcare than £125x39weeks.

@Orangutanteddy

I live in Ireland where there's no breakfast or afterschool clubs. People here just have to pay a childminder. We pay a childminder 200 euro a week to collect, drop and mind our 7 year old. The only good thing is we don't pay her during school holidays. We have a private arrangement and do cash in hand which is what everyone does because there aren't many registered childminders here. 800 a month in term time is a big bill for us, but in 5 years she'll be able to get to school herself so it's finite. We just have to suck it up.

I've heard that about Ireland! All cash in hand. So different here.

I think I'd take the hit if it was better paid which sounds greedy as fuck I realise! But knowing that in 7 years time I'd be on £X per annum with no childcare fees etc would make it worth the short term hit for us. Just thinking fiscally

I feel your pain, as do many parents, it's not easy is it?

Our school breakfast club is £5 and after school club is £10 and closes at 6pm. Could you use a childminder instead? We found one that charges £5 a hour, so if you only need 1 hour, it works out much cheaper than using the ASC.

I have an office job, which pays more than school admin, but as well as paying for breakfast/after school club, we also had to deal with school holidays. We did reciprocal childcare with family and called upon grandparents, but there were always the odd day when we needed to use holiday clubs. These were £30+ per day day. There were cheaper ones, but didn't run the whole day.

But, honestly, for the same financial return, it seems like a no brained!

You seem to be trying to talk yoursef out of taking the job. Your children can't dislike the ASC that much as it doesn't sound like they've had much chance to use it.

Your current job is only a hour a day, so I don't understand how you'll be in a worse / similar position if you take the TA job and have to pay for ASC.

Definitely look at tax free child care. Also avoiding the need for childcare in school holidays makes a big difference too compared to a job which may pay more but isn't term time only - full day holiday care is not always easy to find and is costly! Maybe keep an eye out for similar vacancies at your children's school once you have gained some experience - could reduce / remove need for wrap around care - or it might be subsidised. Ours is run by the school and offers reduced rates for staff as part of their recruitment and retention package. Their training offer is good too - have seen people progress from mid day assisitants to TA's and one is currently being supported to achieve their teaching qualification after several years as a TA. Another who originally started in an entry level admin post is now school bursar. Sometimes worth taking the long view.
Ignore the negative comments OP, really sad how readily women on here are to pull other women down!

Do you have a partner? Could they not pay the childcare fees?

@RueDesIrlandais

Hi *@Whinge*

I have two children, so the cheapest option is circa £40 per day for both ASC and breakfast club. If I could cut out breakfast club, that would drop to £25 per day; it wouldn't be ideal, but possibly doable. That would be £125 per week, for 39 weeks in the year.

I guess this is about average for childcare, but we are in the outskirts of London, which may not help?

It does help to discuss it with other parents. I appreciate nobody can know my precise circumstances though and I don't expect that sort of personalised advice. It's just a forum after all.

I'd become a childminder.

@Cabbagepie

Definitely look at tax free child care. Also avoiding the need for childcare in school holidays makes a big difference too compared to a job which may pay more but isn't term time only - full day holiday care is not always easy to find and is costly! Maybe keep an eye out for similar vacancies at your children's school once you have gained some experience - could reduce / remove need for wrap around care - or it might be subsidised. Ours is run by the school and offers reduced rates for staff as part of their recruitment and retention package. Their training offer is good too - have seen people progress from mid day assisitants to TA's and one is currently being supported to achieve their teaching qualification after several years as a TA. Another who originally started in an entry level admin post is now school bursar. Sometimes worth taking the long view. Ignore the negative comments OP, really sad how readily women on here are to pull other women down!

Thanks, was just thinking there were a couple of weirdly grumpy people on here. Mostly really helpful though, so thank you!

In a completely unrelated response to @Whinge, no, I'm not trying to talk myself out of TA, but I am trying to decide whether or not I should take the job offer. That's how it works. They offer, you decide. If you don't want to help, that's fine.

My kids don't enjoy ASC, but I'm pretty confident they would like the childminders as they have gone to her before when tiny. But that's more expensive. She doesn't charge by the hour. She offers an after school service with a flat fee of £20 per child.

I think the other idea would be to do school administration rather than TA. I've done some admin work in a school before and maybe that's what I should be aiming for instead so that kids don't.

Don't...have to do ASC

Dh could pay for childcare, but it's all the same pot. He already pays all bills other than groceries and fun stuff like days out, clothes and things for the dcs and me, out of his salary.

I agree with @Cabbagepie - sometimes it is worth looking at the long term if you want to be able to develop a career. I know being a lunchtime supervisor will mean you are no better or worse off, but you will potentially be 7 years down the line when your kids don't need childcare any more. And as a TA, there is potentially more progression in that 7 years than as a lunch time supervisor.

I suppose it depends on what you want out of work once your children are older.

Personally, I've always looked at childcare as way that I can progress my career, knowing that I'll still have another 20-25 years of working at least once Youngest dd doesn't need childcare anymore, almost like childcare is an investment in the same way that retraining or extra training is. And I know that if I had paused for the whole time they needed childcare (largeish age gap, so 15 years of childcare), my career / pension / current salary would be much less than it is now.

Can you do the TA and dinner lady at the same school? Lots of our TAs do .
Can you get any help towards after school club costs , salary sacrifice or similar

@LndnGrl, it's tempting isn't it? But no, I don't want to do that.

OP how old are the children?

If they're old enough to walk home in a year or two it might be worth stomaching the costs for now because in 12 months you could be £125 a week better off. You might not get the opportunity for a similar job.

I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150

@brainhurts, no, I asked that too, but it doesn't work.

@Iliketeaagain, I totally agree with your perspective on childcare being a way to progress my career. But, my concern is that I would take this financial hit (my net salary would be around £4000 per annum after NI and childcare as a TA) for seven years minimum and then I'd either need need invest in a teaching qualification, which I don't know if I actually want to do, or would still be on a very meagre salary with school holidays off which may not be necessary when kids are that age. Would it be worth it? I don't know myself! I suppose it's £4000 per annum without any bills because dh covers that, but, honestly, I don't want to be working full weeks and still unable to cover a single 'proper' household bill.

These are just my musings and I'm 100% having a huff because I thought I'd got this amazing job offer and just very stupidly didn't factor in the difference ASC costs would make.

In your position I would probably put up with the costs as it won't be forever
I work 3 days a week which is great during term time but holiday time it's a nightmare. Especially the summer hols but we do always take 2 weeks off but the other 4 are a struggle. My eldest two are 11 and 12 and are happy to potter around the house (we both wfh) but my other two are 8 and 4 and we need to send them to holiday club. My 8 year old hates it though even though he is bored at home and prefers the sports ones but then my youngest can only go to a certain one due to her age.
Working term time would have huge advantages

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150

That is cheaper than paying it 52 weeks a year though...

@girlmom21, eldest child is 6, youngest is 3, but will turn 4 soon and start school in September. I am guessing 11 is about the minimum age for leaving school with an older sibling? But I'm not there yet, so maybe I'm wrong

It's the holidays which are really crippling for childcare costs. £50 per day per child for 9-5 cover.

So if you don't have any family help then the holidays will be brutal.

All kids say they hate asc, but they get used to it and it's a fact of life for most parents.

How old are the children because from year 6 they can walk themselves home and then you won't have any childcare costs.

So it's partly thinking about what you want longer term.

[quote RueDesIrlandais]@girlmom21, eldest child is 6, youngest is 3, but will turn 4 soon and start school in September. I am guessing 11 is about the minimum age for leaving school with an older sibling? But I'm not there yet, so maybe I'm wrong[/quote]
Yeah it does sound like you're quite a way off unfortunately

I think part of the problem is you are paying for out of school care every day when you only need 45 mins. If you could find a job that was finished closer to ASC closing time 6ish here then only did it 3 days that may be more worthwhile.

It is tricky to find a job with the right hours though.

If I were you I would stick with dinner lady and have more free time, and avoid ASC I wouldn't work longer for same income unless it was a dream job.

@Jmaho, that sounds tough. I'm thinking school admin might be a smarter move as holidays are still mainly off work but start and finish times are less fixed. Also, wondering if transferable skills might work better if I decide to kove to private sector when my dcs are teenagers who don't want me around anymore (sob).

Given as you think that you might want to teach. I'd take the job for a year and also apply for teacher training course at the same time.

Then although the training would be tight once you are qualified you would earn significantly more.

So you are looking at a lean 3/4 years