To be surprised at the cost of childcare

[RueDesIrlandais]

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

It always surprises me that people ‘shocked’ at the cost of childcare?? Do they not think the work involved of the person doing that care is worth that much? We pay £5 an hour per child but that’s up north. A childminder would be a much better option in your circumstances as school after school clubs often charges a flat rate for care until 6pm whereas a childminder might only charge you until 5pm. Have you taken into account the TFC saving too?
Many people work as dinner ladies, evenings on the bank if nurses etc because it works out better for their family life and finances

Although also with two pre schoolers in nursery I can’t help but look forward to £125 a week childcare fees.
You’ve got to think long term though and for me certainly working gives me something more than just money!

Mine is £2.50 before school and £4.50 or £7 after, depending on time. But I have 3 x dc. I don't need before, dh can drop off. I work 4 days a week so £28 x 3 is £84 per week. But we use tax free childcare so more like £65 per week.
65 x 39 (term time weeks) ÷ 52 (weeks I am paid. Almost £50 a week, or £200 a month.

I think that's why I would take the TA job. If it's even a possibility you might want to teach you will know after working in a school. And what's the worst that can happen - if you don't like it you can quit!

This is really reassuring! It isn't as big a decision as I'm making out is it? And kids will only be in the extortionate ASC for a short time every day..

Breakfast club is £2 a day here and after school £1.50 a day.

But after school are clubs for the enrichment of children and not ‘childcare’ and as such only run until 4pm.

Would you qualify for any help from universal credit for childcare? It can be surprising.

Classicblunder

OnlyFoolsnMothers
I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150

My 2 year old is in nursery - that's £75 a day! Of course it's cheaper when they are in school. Especially as you only pay for what school holiday childcare you need as opposed to paying year round for private nursery

@Classicblunder

Yes agree, not sure who these people are who are paying as much when their children start school?? Unless they’re talking about the difference between funded hours and school if they work part time perhaps?
We pay about 5 times as much for nursery care for youngest at the moment as we do for school aged child. Also nursery days have to be paid for year round regardless whereas childminder term time only (holiday club as you need it in school holidays) and our childminder doesn’t mind paying as we need her so if hubby free to collect then we don’t have to pay. Also holiday club is as you need so if I’m on annual leave we don’t have to pay. Once youngest starts funded hours will be a lot less of a differential

No, this is definitely childcare, but also, £1.50 is amazing! I love London but...fucking London!

Just mentioned to dh about the 20% and we also realised that, if they like it and if we ever want to some day, kids can stay (for the same price) at ASC till 5.30 on the odd occasion, if we need to do shopping/cooking etc or even just a coffee together, so actually, I WOULD have that extra time for household crap on occasion

@RueDesIrlandais

I think that's why I would take the TA job. If it's even a possibility you might want to teach you will know after working in a school. And what's the worst that can happen - if you don't like it you can quit!

This is really reassuring! It isn't as big a decision as I'm making out is it? And kids will only be in the extortionate ASC for a short time every day..

I get why you feel this way. I was a teacher, then was a sahm, now I'm teaching again and I felt terrible about my daughter going to the childminder after school when I first went back. But she's fine.

Don't worry about them not liking ASC. It's like an hour of their day and they will get used to it! It's just so difficult to get a job around school hours, especially working in schools, and I think you will make life very very hard for yourself trying to find one.

I will pay £1200 for my DS2 to go to nursery and £250 (none school holidays) for DS1 to go to after school clubs ect

You have to think of childcare as a household bill, and think of the long term

Pension contributions, promotions at work , everything adds up

You are not being unreasonable. Compared to other countries our childcare is disgustingly expensive. They are trying to kill us one way or another.

Thanks @Cottonfrenzie and everyone else.

I think I'm going to take it and I'm really excited about the actual job, which is probably the most important thing just now.

YABU because you should expect to pay a large amount of salary on childcare while DC are young and every single parent must plan for this. It will pay off in the long run.

Yes it is expensive but childcare service providers don’t really earn much and also need to make a living.

@AskingforaBaskin

You are not being unreasonable. Compared to other countries our childcare is disgustingly expensive. They are trying to kill us one way or another.

It's true! We're screwed whatever as parents. Sigh sigh. But at least we can cover bills and that's something to be grateful for. It's a bit humiliating that I'm not the one covering them, but hey ho.

And it's a job I really want to do, so I'm actually quite lucky.

Thanks again for the hand hold while I had a freak out

@RueDesIrlandais

Thanks *@Cottonfrenzie* and everyone else.

I think I'm going to take it and I'm really excited about the actual job, which is probably the most important thing just now.

That's brilliant! Congrats and good luck with the new job!

Full wraparound for two children 7:30 to 5:30 is max £300 for 3 days for a long month with no holidays. But with tax free childcare it's actually £240. DH and I go 50/50 so it's about £120 each a month. Massively cheaper than nursery was for 4 years which was over £1000 month. I'm a teacher so I don't have to pay for childcare in the holidays something to bear in mind if you work in an office.

Our primary school does extra curricular clubs after school which lots of people use as a childcare alternative to AFC as it's usually around £40 per half term.

Out AFC is £10.50 up to 6PM, there is a £3 option for pick ups at 3.45pm. Breakfast club is from 7.30am and is £7.50. My friend pays £1 for her kids breakfast club, I was when I found that out.

We are a BIG primary though so I assume staffing costs are much more.

Thanks @Cottonfrenzie, it sounds like a wonderful job and I'm excited to be doing it. Just feel a twat STILL needing dh to pay all my bills, but maybe it won't be forever

Hi OP I would take the job for all kinds of reasons. Holidays are great benefit, believe me (esp when dc are older and there us no childcare but it's good to have someone about). Also working is a good thing, as you say.

Your 6yo won't need ASC from Yr 5, they will be fine to walk home and let themselves in if you will be back within 30 mins of that. So that's 3-4 years of double fees, a lot more manageable than seven years.

@Tillsforthrills

YABU because you should expect to pay a large amount of salary on childcare while DC are young and every single parent must plan for this. It will pay off in the long run.

Yes it is expensive but childcare service providers don’t really earn much and also need to make a living.

But it shouldn't be. Look outside the UK. This is something we should be incandescent with rage over. It shouldn't be crippling finically.

Seems reasonable to me. Childminder has to survive, too.

(Our nursery was £35 each day, 25 years ago)

I think you’re making the right decision to take the job. It will be a foot in the door if nothing else, and you sound really excited about it. And if you don’t have to pay for holiday care, that is a massive bonus.

We have a school-aged DC and a toddler. For the school aged one, we pay £10 a day childminder after-school wraparound. Would be £25 if we needed morning care and drop-off (£5 an hour). We only need 3 days so that’s £120 per month for him (Home Counties). If we need holiday care for three days a week, that’s £120 per week. We tend to pay for the odd day as I usually take some A/L so we can visit family, though we tend to use it more in the summer holidays.

Do your kids' school offer any after school sports/arts clubs either by teachers or external providers (as opposed to after school childcare)? This saved me a lot of money in a similar situation to you where I only needed a little bit of time to get to the school (I finished at the same time as them but 10 minutes away - I literally needed 10 minutes care but would end up paying for the full 3.30-6.00!) I ended up able to avoid paying for the ASC at least a couple of nights a week, most weeks. I had to pay for the clubs but that felt more valuable e.g. they were doing sports, etc. and was often cheaper as well.

Dont forget to factor in a pension from the higher salary. It's not money now, but it is for the future.
If DH will do the morning drop off, and inset days, it can work really well.