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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at the cost of childcare

199 replies

RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 09:45

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
Cisforcamel · 03/04/2022 14:10

OP, try working shifts. Finding cover for leaving the house at 7am and not being back before 7pm (or later) on random days. Our only option was to keep the nanny on….so between 9-3 she did the breakfast clear up, the laundry and made the kids dinner. I resented paying for those 6 hours so much.

Caspianberg · 03/04/2022 14:15

Au -pair?
This is an ideal job for an Au -pair.
Might involve children having to share bedroom a while longer to make a bedroom free.
But they generally cover up to 20 hours per week. And help with small household bits for kids. So you could get someone to help Mon-Fri 2-6pm - 20hrs. They would help kids laundry at home, collect all children and take home to play and sort simple dinner each day. In holidays they would still be around to help, or arrange different hours then. For the same or less that after school club

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 14:17

Au -pair?
This is an ideal job for an Au -pair. Might involve children having to share bedroom a while longer to make a bedroom free.

Do people honestly employ au-pairs and give up a room in their home instead of using before and after school clubs? That's bonkers.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 14:19

@Tanith

"My kids don't enjoy ASC, but I'm pretty confident they would like the childminders as they have gone to her before when tiny. But that's more expensive. She doesn't charge by the hour. She offers an after school service with a flat fee of £20 per child."

Are you sure she's more expensive? Are you comparing like with like?

I charge more than the ASC at the school. I also have expenses that they don't have and that save money for the parents that use us.
I collect from school (petrol costs), provide a snack when they come in and a proper evening meal (ASC provides toast and juice). I also have children much later than they do (they close at 5, we go on until 7).
Of course, if you don't want those things, an ASC will seem cheaper.

The cm is amazing and she does provide proper meals. She would absolutely be my preference over ASC, however, mine won't need to stay for dinner as I'll be there at about four to collect them! She understandably doesn't want to give us a place for less money because we need less time when she could easily fill those places.

Totally agree on the SAHM comments as well.

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 03/04/2022 15:31

School May well be flexible once you’ve been there a while. We have a few who leave early to collect kids or when older the kids walk to school to wait. Or there’s the option of mornings only.

Caspianberg · 03/04/2022 15:45

@girlmom21 - well yes. Op was also worried that working full time would then be a struggle to fit in house stuff. And Au pair would take children home, start basic homework, and prep simple meal for children, whilst also quickly bringing childrens laundry in off line op put out first thing. All those things would then be far more helpful to op so around the same cost. With after school all that had to happen still after 5pm.
An Au pair isn’t forever, but maybe for 1-3 years it would be useful whilst children relatively young.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 15:48

We don't want an Au Pair, but it isn't a crazy idea or anything. I just wouldn't want a stranger living in my -(tiny) house.

OP posts:
mogsrus · 03/04/2022 15:51

@RueDesIrlandais

Hi *@Whinge*

I have two children, so the cheapest option is circa £40 per day for both ASC and breakfast club. If I could cut out breakfast club, that would drop to £25 per day; it wouldn't be ideal, but possibly doable. That would be £125 per week, for 39 weeks in the year.

I guess this is about average for childcare, but we are in the outskirts of London, which may not help?

It does help to discuss it with other parents. I appreciate nobody can know my precise circumstances though and I don't expect that sort of personalised advice. It's just a forum after all.

If you could cut out breakfast club? Why don’t you
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 16:00

@mogsrus, because it would be cutting it very fine for both dh or me to get to our places of work after normal drop off time. Doable, but only just. Dh can do drop off at normal time when he doesn't have meetings, but he can't cry off every early morning meeting of the week. We may do some days with BC and others without and he'll just have to say no meetings on X or Y day

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/04/2022 16:11

No one thinks SAHMs aren’t worthy, and no one wants child care providers not to be paid well, but it’s still expensive- it’s badly funded by this country!!!

hookiewookie29 · 03/04/2022 16:15

Wow!! That's expensive! So I'm sure it depends on where you live with regards to the cost, but I'm a childminder and would charge £14 per day for both children....

trilbydoll · 03/04/2022 16:31

In answer to your original question our ASC is £15 per child until 6pm, no option to pay less for a shorter time. We don't use breakfast club but I think it's around £6.

I'd fix 2 days for DH to drop off and he can make it known he can't do early meetings those days. I'd also consider a mix of ASC and cm so some days you get a bit longer and dc are fed before you pick them up.

Deadringer · 03/04/2022 16:43

@Orangutanteddy

I live in Ireland where there's no breakfast or afterschool clubs. People here just have to pay a childminder. We pay a childminder 200 euro a week to collect, drop and mind our 7 year old. The only good thing is we don't pay her during school holidays. We have a private arrangement and do cash in hand which is what everyone does because there aren't many registered childminders here. 800 a month in term time is a big bill for us, but in 5 years she'll be able to get to school herself so it's finite. We just have to suck it up.
I think you are being overcharged. I live in south dublin and no one i know charges/pays that much. It's usually about 5 euro an hour, unless your dc is still in preschool? Our local school is starting a breakfast club/afterschool from sept, too late for me though as my youngest is going into secondary then. Hopefully more schools follow suit, though it isn't a particularly cheap option. I would stick with the dinner lady role job op, same money, more free time etc and get a 'proper' job when the dc are older.
mogsrus · 03/04/2022 16:48

[quote RueDesIrlandais]@mogsrus, because it would be cutting it very fine for both dh or me to get to our places of work after normal drop off time. Doable, but only just. Dh can do drop off at normal time when he doesn't have meetings, but he can't cry off every early morning meeting of the week. We may do some days with BC and others without and he'll just have to say no meetings on X or Y day[/quote]
Would it not be easier just to get up earlier & do breakfast yourselves

Patchbatch · 03/04/2022 16:50

Yanbu, when people on here say ah it'll be cheaper when they get to school it is as nursery fees are extortionate, but if you require wraparound care its £££.

bluechameleon · 03/04/2022 16:58

Ours wouldn't be nearly that much. Breakfast club is 4.50 each, and afterschool club is 4.50 an hour, so for what you need would be £18 a day.

shabbalabba · 03/04/2022 16:58

@Deadringer I'm in south East Ireland and my two closest schools have an Afterschool and the closest school has a breakfast club. We don't use that school though but it's great that the option is there for those parents.

Crikeyalmighty · 03/04/2022 16:58

Is a TA really that poorly paid— ? Factoring in what you have said about childcare and allowing for NI/tax— this can’t be more than 13,000/ 14,000 or so a year which is minimum wage territory . is it part time?

ancientgran · 03/04/2022 17:05

If it is only a half hour walk away it isn't very far, have you thought of a taxi picking the kids up? I can't imagine it would cost £40 a day. I remember in my DSs class one little one was picked up by taxi as foster mother moved and social services paid for that, obviously you'd have to pay for yours.

I assume there must be taxi firms that have vetting for this.

brainhurts · 03/04/2022 17:12

@Crikeyalmighty

Is a TA really that poorly paid ? Factoring in what you have said about childcare and allowing for NI/tax this can’t be more than 13,000/ 14,000 or so a year which is minimum wage territory . is it part time?

Yes TAs ( well the ones I know ) are on just over minimum wage depending on their qualifications , it's also term time only , so roughly paid for 44 ish weeks a year.

JessicaBrassica · 03/04/2022 17:13

Don't assume no flexibility. DH is a TA. He has to be in school early so we use breakfast club every day but he finished at 2.50 2 days a week so can do pick up. Our primary offers a range of after school clubs which range in cost from £1 a week to £26 a half term (external provider) so we encourage him to do those. Otherwise it's £15 a day for us. Do your school offer any other activities which might buy you an hour to get from your school to theirs? Even if only for the older one it would reduce your costs significantly.

If you got a bike would that reduce your commute time or is it too dangerous where you are?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/04/2022 17:16

@Crikeyalmighty

Is a TA really that poorly paid— ? Factoring in what you have said about childcare and allowing for NI/tax— this can’t be more than 13,000/ 14,000 or so a year which is minimum wage territory . is it part time?
Yup.

Usually, the hours are something like 8-3.30 with 30 mins break they don't get to take. So it's 20% fewer hours spread over working five days per week. Then because it's term time only, 38 weeks plus legally required holiday, the headline figure loses another 20%. Then that 0.6 full time equivalent is divided by twelve.

A back of an envelope explanation would be: salary of £20K (don't laugh, TAs, it's just for ease of reckoning). Actual pay is £12K. Divided into 12 equal payments of £1K. Because whilst the hourly equivalent doesn't necessarily sound that awful, they don't get paid for all the hours they work at the end of the month (that would leave them with weeks unpaid by halfway through the Easter holiday because the holiday entitlement has already been used up and there's still half term and six weeks in summer to have no earned income). So they get a proportion of the pay they've earned at the end of the month, as that means a regular income through the academic year.

And as long as the pay is technically NMW or above, the job and pay is structured so they actually get less than NMW each month.

BluebellsGreenbells · 03/04/2022 17:18

Maybe if teachers were thought of more highly they would be more willing to offer after school care by way of sports activities etc.

They aren’t paid to do these clubs yet they certainly get blasted if a child doesn’t make the numbers.

Think about that.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 17:23

@Crikeyalmighty

Is a TA really that poorly paid— ? Factoring in what you have said about childcare and allowing for NI/tax— this can’t be more than 13,000/ 14,000 or so a year which is minimum wage territory . is it part time?
It's a little less than that actually!

It is 8.50 till 3.20, five days a week, so that is part time and then obviously I get the school holidays off, so it is fair enough really.

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 03/04/2022 17:29

It’s 3 years since I had to pay for ASC but it was £12 per session then - I didn’t need breakfast club as school starts earlier than most, so don’t know what it cost.
£12 was charged whether he was there for half an hour or until 6 - so I’m not surprised at the prices at your DCs school as I’m presuming it’s £12.50 per child. I’m in Liverpool.