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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at the cost of childcare

199 replies

RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 09:45

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
Thursday37 · 03/04/2022 10:41

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150
Depends how much annual leave you get though. I get 40 days and DH gets 36 so we will be able to cover a huge proportion of school hols without childcare. Allowing for some time off together for actual holidays we will only be paying for 3 weeks school hols childcare per year and 3 days wraparound in term time. That’s nowhere near the cost of nursery now at £12k a year.
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/04/2022 10:42

That is cheaper than paying it 52 weeks a year though not hugely- if you factor in a couple of children- primary school children need care around the clock too. At least our nursery was 7.30-6, breakfast club starts at 8. Then add school meals, half term cost of holidays. Children never get cheaper.

girlmom21 · 03/04/2022 10:43

@Thursday37 that's a LOT of annual leave! Is it accrued from long service?
I thought my 33 incl bank holidays was generous!
Although DP can buy holidays too

brainhurts · 03/04/2022 10:43

I can see your point but £4000 is a lost of money .
Are your calculations based on the new NI threshold?
Can DH have the odd week off to cut out costs .

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/04/2022 10:44

Thursday37 you and your husband get how much leave?!!!! Excuse my French but fucking hell that’s loads. Not the norm at all. All me and my friends get between 20-30, and 30 is only after a shit load of service years.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:44

@Dishwashersaurous

Given as you think that you might want to teach. I'd take the job for a year and also apply for teacher training course at the same time.

Then although the training would be tight once you are qualified you would earn significantly more.

So you are looking at a lean 3/4 years

No, I don't think I want to teach. Never say never etc and I love working with kids, but I have no plans to train as a teacher any time soon.
OP posts:
Cottonfrenzie · 03/04/2022 10:44

Have you worked out the maths? I mean look at the sort of realistic salary you might get in a office job, then researched the school holiday clubs? If you are avoiding ASC then surely the office job will need to finish around 2.45ish? Will it really work out much different from the TA job pay once you factor in holiday club?

I think I would go for the TA job. You also get that added time of school holidays with your kids. I get what you are saying about the dinner lady role, but surely the TA job would be more of a stepping stone to other jobs in the future? Even if not in a school there will be lots of transferable skills.

I pay a childminder £11.25 per day for my daughter for after school (I'm a teacher so no negotiating on hours too). Her dad does drop off so that helps but I feel your pain about the cost! But I know I not only save money on holiday club I save hassle too.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:46

@Cottonfrenzie

Have you worked out the maths? I mean look at the sort of realistic salary you might get in a office job, then researched the school holiday clubs? If you are avoiding ASC then surely the office job will need to finish around 2.45ish? Will it really work out much different from the TA job pay once you factor in holiday club?

I think I would go for the TA job. You also get that added time of school holidays with your kids. I get what you are saying about the dinner lady role, but surely the TA job would be more of a stepping stone to other jobs in the future? Even if not in a school there will be lots of transferable skills.

I pay a childminder £11.25 per day for my daughter for after school (I'm a teacher so no negotiating on hours too). Her dad does drop off so that helps but I feel your pain about the cost! But I know I not only save money on holiday club I save hassle too.

I'm now thinking that school admin might be the thing to aim for now. Due to skills possibly being transferable to private sector and also getting the school holidays. But that would be a next step while the TA job is obviously an immediately available opportunity, so maybe not accepting would be a blunder
OP posts:
OnceAgainWithFeeling · 03/04/2022 10:46

Breakfast club is free here (from
08:10) and ASC until 17:30 is £7.50 per session including a drink and a snack.

Tend to spend about £300 on summer holiday sports camps etc.

Dishwashersaurous · 03/04/2022 10:47

then I'd either need need invest in a teaching qualification, which I don't know if I actually want to do,

I read this as you might want to teach...

Cottonfrenzie · 03/04/2022 10:47

Is it easy to get a school admin job though? I thought they were really competitive. And some of them require you to stay til 4pm anyway.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:47

That's amazing @OnceAgainWithFeeling! I'm moving next door Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:50

@Cottonfrenzie

Is it easy to get a school admin job though? I thought they were really competitive. And some of them require you to stay til 4pm anyway.
Hmmm not sure tbh, but if you really want to pursue a career ime, it normally happens eventually (within reason). Much less likely to get one if I can never go to interviews because I'm working.

Ugh so annoying and my brain is going in circles. I don't know why I thought childcare would get easier once dcs were at school. Many of my mum friends work ft in private sector, and have never considered anything else, but I know the costs are massive. But long term it is worth it for them as they are building careers which will see them to retirement with decent salaries.

OP posts:
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:51

I've had school admin temp contracts in the past and practically walked into those, but appreciate permanent contracts are more competitive

OP posts:
Cottonfrenzie · 03/04/2022 10:52

@Dishwashersaurous

then I'd either need need invest in a teaching qualification, which I don't know if I actually want to do,

I read this as you might want to teach...

OP do you have a degree? You can do teacher training salaried on the job training now. Pay varied £17-22k I've seen depending on route/subject. You still have the ASC problem but once you are qualified the pay will jump considerably.

If you have a degree it might be worth doing the TA role and seeing whether you like it and if so the year after applying for salaried training route. You might like it!

Movingonup22 · 03/04/2022 10:53

Why do you see the childcare as coming solely from your wage??

Your partner could also stay at home and look after the kids?

So half the childcare costs come from his wage

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 10:56

I do have a degree but as I said I don't know if I want to teach. It's a big investment if I went the university route, but if there was on the job training where I actually got paid, that would change things significantly. I'll look into that; thank you

I think if I taught certain subjects at secondary, I'd also qualify for a bursary, but the university fees would eat into that.

OP posts:
Classicblunder · 03/04/2022 10:56

I think a lot of women get fixated with the idea of working school hours or very part time when actually having a "normal" office type job especially if you have qualifications is just better financially.

We pay £20 a day for both breakfast and after-school club, about £50 a day for holiday club but with both of us taking annual leave we don't need that for more than a couple of weeks a year.

We both do a compressed four day week so only need childcare for three days

Girlonit · 03/04/2022 10:59

You’re wrong that TA jobs don’t offer progression op. At least in my LA there’s different pay bands for TA’s depending on experience and qualifications with HLTA being on not much less than NQT’s then there’s learning mentors, behaviour support workers etc.
I currently have a social work assistant working with me who worked as a TA previously. If it’s not for you it’s not for you, but I don’t think it’s fair to say there’s no progression.
Maybe look into gaining qualifications if your working part time as a lunchtime assistant or even ask school if they’d send you on any.
Everywhere varies but admin roles in schools/local authority seem to get filled quite quickly in my areas, so maybe updating your skills may help you secure a role in those.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 03/04/2022 11:00

@Movingonup22

Why do you see the childcare as coming solely from your wage??

Your partner could also stay at home and look after the kids?

So half the childcare costs come from his wage

The overall result is the same though isn't it! It's such a stupid and shortsighted comment to make. Oh make your husband pay for it. Yes, and then op just forks out for a different bill. The maths is the same!!!
Cottonfrenzie · 03/04/2022 11:01

@RueDesIrlandais

I do have a degree but as I said I don't know if I want to teach. It's a big investment if I went the university route, but if there was on the job training where I actually got paid, that would change things significantly. I'll look into that; thank you

I think if I taught certain subjects at secondary, I'd also qualify for a bursary, but the university fees would eat into that.

I think that's why I would take the TA job. If it's even a possibility you might want to teach you will know after working in a school. And what's the worst that can happen - if you don't like it you can quit!
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 11:01

@Movingonup22

Why do you see the childcare as coming solely from your wage??

Your partner could also stay at home and look after the kids?

So half the childcare costs come from his wage

I see all bills as coming from the same pot. Dh pays the mortgage, utilities, car insurance, holidays, about half the groceries or possibly more, from his salary. I currently pay for other groceries and clothes and that's about it! The childcare would come out of the same pot, but it would probably have to be covered by my salary.
OP posts:
weaselish · 03/04/2022 11:01

Childcare costs are not forever; they are an investment in your future career. You're much more employable staying in employment and taking the short term financial hit. As others are said, it's also a shared cost. Also your post about having time to do stuff around the house - evenings, weekends, and you'll have the bonus of all the holidays that most don't have. Invest in your career - ignore the short term financial pain.

WelshyMaud · 03/04/2022 11:01

£9.50 a day during term time - £1 breakfast club so I can drop off at 7.50am and ASC until 5.30 is £8.50. We're lucky we only need it for Dc3 and only 2 days a week though.

In holidays he goes to the local nursery 'big kids' club from 8-5.30 which is £29 a day and includes breakfast, lunch and a light tea.

Overall about £150 a month when you average out school holidays too. Tax Free Childcare is worth doing, saves about £30 a month.

Classicblunder · 03/04/2022 11:02

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150
My 2 year old is in nursery - that's £75 a day! Of course it's cheaper when they are in school. Especially as you only pay for what school holiday childcare you need as opposed to paying year round for private nursery