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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at the cost of childcare

199 replies

RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 09:45

For primary age kids!

Yes, I am being U. Yes, I should have known this and researched it more and I actually probably am not even truly surprised, but I am a bit deflated.

I was basically a sahm for years, following redundancy after I had my first baby. I've been doing little part time jobs since then, like dinner lady at a school and in hospitality.

I've just been offered what I would call a proper job, but it is in a school, so term time only and finishing at the end of the school day. I was so, so excited to be offered it.

I've just looked at after school care which I would need, just for about 45 minutes, and I could cry. It means I will be making approximately the same after childcare as I was was I was a dinner lady! With the added downside that dcs will have to do ASC which they don't exactly love and I'll be working from drop off till pick up so no time to do anything in the house.

I've started now looking at full time jobs in offices which obviously means even more time in childcare for dcs, but the financial return would be potentially worth it.

I had convinced myself that "once they reach primary school" childcare costs wouldn't wipe out my salary and I'm a bit bummed that doesn't seem to be the case.

Aibu and has anyone had similar?

And if I can be very cheeky and ask people who aren't on mega bucks and who work full time weekdays; how much are you spending on breakfast club, after school care and holiday clubs every year? Trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 17:36

@BluebellsGreenbells

Maybe if teachers were thought of more highly they would be more willing to offer after school care by way of sports activities etc.

They aren’t paid to do these clubs yet they certainly get blasted if a child doesn’t make the numbers.

Think about that.

I am going to work in a school. I already think highly of teachers or I probably wouldn't want to work with them
OP posts:
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 17:40

Would it not be easier just to get up earlier & do breakfast yourselves

@mogsrus

What?

Do you think people use breakfast club because they don't know how to feed their kids breakfast or something?

The issue is that we get up and we drop the kids to school. The absolute earliest we can drop them is when the gates open at 8.40. I have to be at another school, a half hour walk or a short drive away but with no on site parking in rush hour traffic. It is very tricky to drop at normal time and then get to my school.

As if breakfast club is a luxury people are just dying to use 😂🙄

OP posts:
HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 03/04/2022 17:43

DD used to go to a private nursery after school, they did school pickups for children up to the end of year 6, was £7 an hour. Maybe look and see if any nursery's in your area offer anything similar.

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 17:44

So no, getting up earlier would not help, because we still cannot drop them earlier (unless we pay for breakfast club). We could get up at five and serve a seven course tasting menu with silver service and arrive at school for 8am but they won't take the kids until 8.40 at the absolute earliest unless we pay for breakfast club

OP posts:
clary · 03/04/2022 17:53

OP could you cycle to work? 30 min walk is probably 10 min bike ride. Maybe even a bit less. Would that make it workable to do without breakfast club? Maybe even if you dropped the DC at a friend's house for 10 mins at 8.30?

clary · 03/04/2022 17:54

lol at the seven-course silver service tasting menu btw. yy tone-deaf post from @mogsrus

sweepeep · 03/04/2022 17:54

I don't understand why TA's are paid so little in the U.K. my aunt is the equivalent here in Ireland and she is on over 40k...granted she has been in the role for nearly 20years but still!!

Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 17:55

Yes, cycling may work, or possibly I could request a parking space on some days and, as I said, dh could say there are some days he cannot be at morning meetings and he would do school drop off at 8.40 on those days.

The breakfast club isn't an enormous issue as it is cheaper than ASC, but that helpful suggestion of "why don't you just give them breakfast yourself" was quite funny

OP posts:
Tillsforthrills · 03/04/2022 18:37

@AskingforaBaskin

So what do you suggest, that childcarers work for free so we can go to work? It actually works out at a very low or very reasonable rate per hour, which most of us would not be happy with in our own jobs.

It’s the Governments fault really.

Autumn42 · 03/04/2022 19:11

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

No one thinks SAHMs aren’t worthy, and no one wants child care providers not to be paid well, but it’s still expensive- it’s badly funded by this country!!!
Then why are people saying how ridiculous cost of childcare is rather than why can’t child benefit be increased?? I’m a mother in paid employment but don’t see why SAHM should miss out if free money being doled out
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/04/2022 20:30

Then why are people saying how ridiculous cost of childcare is rather than why can’t child benefit be increased?? I’m a mother in paid employment but don’t see why SAHM should miss out if free money being doled out huh?- I’m a mother in paid employment and I get child benefit - I don’t think you understand. Early years learning in other countries is far better funded by the government but this country has years of anti child anti parent rhetoric, never will be a vote winner.

Bunnycat101 · 03/04/2022 20:37

I do think a lot of people underestimate school age childcare. We budgeted appropriately for nursery but didn’t really consider the school age childcare costs properly.

For us we can get away with after school only which is £13 a day so broadly £2k a year for 4 days a week. We have then generally needed about 6 weeks of holiday care which seems to average around £45 a day near us so roughly another £1k. I can see why that would be a bit of a shock to the system if you’ve gone from £0 to needing to pay £6k for two kids. By contrast our nursey for our youngest has been around £15k for 4 days so the £3k seems massively good value in comparison.

mogsrus · 03/04/2022 20:39

@clary

lol at the seven-course silver service tasting menu btw. yy tone-deaf post from *@mogsrus*
Sorry don’t understand what you tone deaf means. Anyway, I thought it was a straight forward question up at 6 all done by 7 30 I would have reasonably thought
Autumn42 · 03/04/2022 20:42

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Then why are people saying how ridiculous cost of childcare is rather than why can’t child benefit be increased?? I’m a mother in paid employment but don’t see why SAHM should miss out if free money being doled out huh?- I’m a mother in paid employment and I get child benefit - I don’t think you understand. Early years learning in other countries is far better funded by the government but this country has years of anti child anti parent rhetoric, never will be a vote winner.
This isn’t about early years learning, this is about mother in paid employment not on UC demanding to be made financially better off to the specific exclusion of SAHM
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 20:44

Yes, I think I was similar @Bunnycat101. We budgeted for the nursery years, not that made much of a difference since I then got made redundant when my office shut down while I was on mat leave!

I always thought "when they're at school...", which, with hindsight was really naive of me. Also, having done small jobs for so long, I stupidly thought that more hours meant more pay, but it won't work out much more. Actually, thinking about it, my best earning job after childcare costs was probably working in a restaurant, which didn't need childcare as they loved me coming in the evenings and weekends 😂. Made quite a lot doing that, but longterm it wasn't feasible.

OP posts:
Original poster
RueDesIrlandais · 03/04/2022 20:49

Sorry don’t understand what you tone deaf means. Anyway, I thought it was a straight forward question up at 6 all done by 7 30 I would have reasonably thought

@mogsrus, are you not getting this? It doesn't matter what time we get up and eat breakfast. The school gates don't open until 08:40. I need to be at school, ready to begin work at 08:50. I cannot turn up with my kids, fed or otherwise, before 08:40 and hand them over, unless I have paid for breakfast club. Breakfast club is not really about breakfast; it's a way of providing wraparound childcare for parents who need to be at work earlier than the school gates open.

OP posts:
OakPine · 03/04/2022 21:00

OMG Ignore the negative comments.
Congrats on your new job!

Are there any sports type clubs at the school. How it works at my kids' school is that there is "after school club" but there are also other clubs, like running club etc. Kids can go to the sports clubs instead of after school club which might be cheaper.

Not sure if that is an option but might be worth exploring.

movinghelprequired · 03/04/2022 21:06

@RueDesIrlandais

Don't...have to do ASC

Dh could pay for childcare, but it's all the same pot. He already pays all bills other than groceries and fun stuff like days out, clothes and things for the dcs and me, out of his salary.

This doesn't sound fair to you at all OP! And that would explain your anxiety about accepting what sounds like a fab job. Do you actually pool all your income? Or does he leave you to pick up all the "child" and you expenses on account of him paying the mortgage?
AskingforaBaskin · 03/04/2022 21:12

[quote Tillsforthrills]@AskingforaBaskin

So what do you suggest, that childcarers work for free so we can go to work? It actually works out at a very low or very reasonable rate per hour, which most of us would not be happy with in our own jobs.

It’s the Governments fault really.[/quote]
Point out where is said they should work for free. I said look at other countries where am childcare is cheaper.

Guess who subsidises them?

Stop using the ridiculous argument of paying the providers.

Luxplus · 03/04/2022 21:20

We pay 180£ per month for 2 children in breakfast club and after school club... we pay 11 out of 12 month and it covers holidays too...

surreygirl1987 · 03/04/2022 21:25

My boys are both still at nursery but I've researched the local primary schools and know that we'll be paying around £20 per day during term time (morning, breakfast, and after school u til 6pm). Not ideal, but we both work full-time.

Ellie5341 · 03/04/2022 21:32

I remember when I was looking for work when mine was 1 I didn't apply for loads of jobs because of the cost of childcare.

I didn't want to work 5 days a week while paying for someone to look after dc the 5 days and after the travel costs to/ from work have like £20 left.
I was lucky enough at the time to not need that £20 extra but I know some aren't so lucky.

I think you need to consider is this about working to get back out there/ find a bit of yourself etc or are you wanting to make money to save/ pay increasing bills etc.

brainhurts · 03/04/2022 21:35

I would definitely unplug the dish washer , get her some rubber gloves 🧤

brainhurts · 03/04/2022 21:36

Oops wrong thread sorry

Hell0G00dbye · 03/04/2022 21:54

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

I have never understood the “it gets cheaper and easier when school age” narrative. They go to school 9-3 with endless fucking holidays. My eldest is in camp next wk- that’s £150
As someone with a school age child who costs £75pcm for after school care 3 x a week and around £300/month for summer holiday clubs 3 x a week she is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than nursery age DC who costs £720 for 3 days a week even with some holiday cover!
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