Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

Ask if you can drop to 30 mins lunch and leave 30 mins early. Then you could collect dd for 5 each night.

There are some good suggestions on here about trying to re jig your hours a bit.

I would also consider taking out a loan or extending your mortgage. No it's not ideal at all but needs must. It's what we did when we had 2 in nursery and eldest in wraparound care... we literally had more money going out than coming in. This was years ago before free hours, and I distinctly remember mortgage rates hiking up yet again (anyone remember the 15% interest rate)

I figured that having taken 3 maternity leaves and returned to work each time, it would be madness to jack in my job as the short term solution. So we extended our mortgage by a couple of years to tide us through the worst. Then my youngest moved up from the baby room to the toddler section at nursery (slightly cheaper) then dc2 started school so it was two wraparound care and just one in nursery and then we heaved a sigh of relief when all 3 were in school and it was 'just' before/after school and holiday childcare.

You have my sympathy because it's really tough but I honestly believe we did the best thing long term; it would have been worse to leave the workplace.

@Goldenhedgehogs

If you work public sector check your contract, many terms and conditions are your core working hours are 10-4pm with lunch to be taken between 12-2pm. Then the additional hours you work to make up your time to full time are at your choosing as long as you are in work for those core hours.

My public sector contract is 'work as many hours as the service demands'.

Sorry if I missed the answer to this but someone above mentioned the fact the nursery place may not even be available for DC1 if you take her out while you are on ML? Many have a holding fee at the least to keep the space open, did you include that in your calculations?

@Margot78 absolutely

Yes @Wonderfulstuff needs to look at the statistics from JRF which demonstrate single earner couple households tend to have much less disposable income than dual income households. I was a SAHM and know people who are still SAHMs and they are the ones buying all their children’s clothes and toys 2nd hand, you never see them going on expensive days out etc or even so much as down at the takeaway van. They moved from the south east up north to afford the housing. The reality is not that these families are well off and that’s why they decide to stay at home, more that they’ve made the decision to do that and make huge sacrifices to facilitate it. Flexible working really does make a huge difference and needs to be pushed far more in government policy

@ChairCareOh

Here, here *@TiddleyWink*. There is absolutely nothing progressive about expecting parents to work and care for children at the same time. Especially when the assumption is that it’s women’s work.

Agree. I’m in public sector and pretty much all of my colleagues in my department are WFH with their kids still, to avoid paying for childcare. Might be helpful OP if you work somewhere like that (though your colleagues without kids will hate you).

Apologies, meant to quote @Crimsonripple

I think the 0% credit card is a good idea. You already have £50 - £60 a month which, potentially, could go towards it. You could definitely make a saving on groceries and possibly fuel/utilities. Once your maternity leave is finished consider a childminder for the two children. It should be cheap and may fit better with your hours.

@65honeybee

There are some good suggestions on here about trying to re jig your hours a bit.

I would also consider taking out a loan or extending your mortgage. No it's not ideal at all but needs must. It's what we did when we had 2 in nursery and eldest in wraparound care... we literally had more money going out than coming in. This was years ago before free hours, and I distinctly remember mortgage rates hiking up yet again (anyone remember the 15% interest rate)

I figured that having taken 3 maternity leaves and returned to work each time, it would be madness to jack in my job as the short term solution. So we extended our mortgage by a couple of years to tide us through the worst. Then my youngest moved up from the baby room to the toddler section at nursery (slightly cheaper) then dc2 started school so it was two wraparound care and just one in nursery and then we heaved a sigh of relief when all 3 were in school and it was 'just' before/after school and holiday childcare.

You have my sympathy because it's really tough but I honestly believe we did the best thing long term; it would have been worse to leave the workplace.

Yes exactly. It's short term pain for longer term gain of keeping careers going. The person earlier suggesting op looks at giving up work and claiming benefits - what a ridiculous suggestion, it could take years for op to get back to her current earning capacity.

[quote ChairCareOh]@MabelsApron I’m also public sector and I’m sick to death of colleagues working from home whilst looking after kids that should be at nursery or with a childminder. It’s completely unfair on the rest of the team and gives working parents a bad name. It’s really starting to build resentment in some teams.[/quote]
Couldn’t agree more. I love WFH as I have a disability and managing it is so much easier (and has made me more productive). That it’ll likely be taken away because of this behaviour is maddening.

"Sadly, I think you underestimate how much better off you will be when your eldest is at school. She will still need wrap around care and care throughout all the school holidays (12 to 13 weeks of the year). Temporarily finding this extra £100 a month isn't going to fix anything. And yes, I have read your earlier post about how you hoped you'd "make it work".

Have you factored in a doubling of domestic energy costs too?"

^ this

[quote RussianSpy101]@littlemousebigcheese

Nobody is saying only the wealthy can have children. Nor is anybody saying you must have a 6 figure salary. What many of us are saying is that if your outgoings are higher than your income, it obviously extremely irresponsible to add to that by adding a child / children to the mix.
Children are expensive and debt & money worries often lead to mental health struggles which can lead to negative outcomes for both the children and the parents.
Food bank usage is at an all time high, more and more children are living in poverty. For many children, the meal they have at school is the only one they have that day.
Is this really what people want for their children? Do they really think oh I’ll just have another baby and somehow we will muddle through, even though we probably can’t afford enough food or to heat the house. Oh well, it’ll work out. I’ve seen parents on this forum saying oh we won’t eat so the DC can. Those in that position surely wouldn’t consider another child?

These are childrens lives! Completely unfair and irresponsible to bring a child into a life of struggling to make ends meet.

If a poster came on and started a thread;
“our bills are more than our income, we have no savings and no ability to save, we live month to month and have £50 left over each month, should we have another baby? ” absolutely nobody in their right mind would respond with a yes!![/quote]
100% agree with your post, appreciate bills have gone up recently , but even before people will have kids knowing that they will have only £20 left at the end of the month and just think we will make it work somehow then a year or two down the line when costs increase or unexpected bills come in they then realise they can't and are posting on here that they are having to choose between eating or heating, relying on food banks and no luxurys in life

I never understand why people come on these threads just to tell the OP she shouldn't have had a second if she couldn't afford the first. She is already pregnant, there's nothing she can do about that now - there's no reason for it other than an attempt to make the OP feel shitty about herself.

She's asking for advice on what she can do now, not your opinions on whether she should have had another or not

Do you claim child benefit as well OP? It's not mentioned in your income as far as I can see. That would be £21 a week for your first child so already an extra £84.

If you're able to, getting a job one day at the weekend would help with the extra, even a few hours and then if you work 4 days in the week you both still have 2 days off. Although I appreciate it isn't easy finding a job when pregnant.

Can you have a clear out and sell stuff you no longer need? It won't help every month but may help you get enough for this month to give you time to figure things out.

Any way you could temporarily reduce food costs? Again I know it's not easy especially with kids in nappies etc, we're also £100 a week although that does include formula.
Batch cooking is a great way to save, things like bolognese, chilli etc - fill the meal out with veg and lentils to save on meat. Big bag of baked potatoes, you can make them all and freeze them, add some beans/cheese/tuna/leftover chilli etc for meals. If you buy branded stuff, switch to cheaper versions - maybe shop in Aldi or Lidl if you don't already and have one near you.
Frozen veg instead of fresh etc

Hello OP, something that occurred to me is, could you take control over your own work calendar and start blocking out time when you do actual work, so say from 4-5pm each day you put "emails or planning time" so that people cant book you on calls and perhaps you can slip away at 4:15 and if anyone asks say, oh I need to get back home for X but I'll do my last 45mins when I get home to finish up?

Hi @Notveryxmasy

You can’t do a mortgage holiday but you might be able to negotiate moving to interest only for 6 months or so. That would give you the breathing space (put as much away as you can though to ‘pay the capital back’) to afford the additional childcare until loan is repaid and your pay rise comes through.

[quote ChairCareOh]@MabelsApron I’m also public sector and I’m sick to death of colleagues working from home whilst looking after kids that should be at nursery or with a childminder. It’s completely unfair on the rest of the team and gives working parents a bad name. It’s really starting to build resentment in some teams.[/quote]
Not just public sector! It frustrates me that so many people cite collecting the DC from school/reducing childcare costs as a benefit of wfh without seeming to realise that this does mean they are less available and in many cases that colleagues have to pick up the slack.

@RedskyThisNight Couldn’t agree more. I’m used to having to pick up some slack as one of the few in my department without kids but this is every day. It’s really creating resentment, and I’m sure the parents think we’ve no idea it’s happening.

@twinsetandpearl

My second pregnancy was twins...I took out a 10 year bank loan to cover childcare costs full time until 30 hours kicks in - repayments per month are 1/3 the cost of the childcare bill. Twins also on term time only childminder. -means no annual leave together but needs must

I want to start a social enterprise doing just this. Is it working for you?

You'll have to pay for the costs of childcare for 10 years rather than 4ish but if it keeps the monthly costs down then that's a good thing?

My idea for a social enterprise is to do it and allow the loans to be flexible (paid back early) and to charge very, very low APR to make it more affordable.

Maybe I should join up with pregnant then screwed?

@Lou98

I never understand why people come on these threads just to tell the OP she shouldn't have had a second if she couldn't afford the first. She is already pregnant, there's nothing she can do about that now - there's no reason for it other than an attempt to make the OP feel shitty about herself.

She's asking for advice on what she can do now, not your opinions on whether she should have had another or not

I actually think that some ‘what were you thinking?!’ posts can be helpful. Not least to other people reading who might be about to do the same thing-perhaps it makes people stop and think about whether they’re making good decisions before it’s too late. I also think that if people have made fundamentally poor or irresponsible choices then tiptoeing around pointing it out doesn’t do any favours. People need to take responsibility and accept the agency they have over their own lives. Blaming circumstances or other factors for the entirely predictable consequences of questionable decision making is doesn’t help people to make more responsible decisions going forward because they’re failing to recognise their own role in their situations.

And FFS there are some threads where it’s literally impossible to read what the OP has to say and not just ask, why the actual fuck did you do xyz?!

@TiddleyWink that may be so and I haven't read every reply but the ones I have definitely aren't intending to be helpful - they're simply kicking someone while they're down and trying to get a dig in.

The OP said she did the maths and even though it would be tight for a year they could afford the child care for two but she wasn't expecting this increase. Was it naive to not expect it? Maybe but what's done is done, it can't be changed now.

She is asking for help on how she can make changes to pay the extra £100 a month now, that is what she posted for, not for others opinions on whether she should have chose to have a second or not

National minimum wage to be paid to let’s say 4 staff.
Heating & lighting to be paid.
Insurance. Business rates.
And your bleating about it, if this was your business how would you go about it? Bet the answer would be exactly the same, pass on overheads to the clients,you cannot absorb everything in business,the same as any business works, horrible no one wants to do it,