Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

@Atomiccat

That is crazy money. Where I live full time nursery with well educated teachers is £90 a month, lovely home cooked meals included.

In London we pay £1600….

The large increase in nmw this month, and NI increase plus light and heat. I can't see many surviving if the parents can't afford to take on the increases. It's awful.

@Babyroobs

What is quite shocking is that op only brings home £1600 from a top band 6 job which is 39k at top of band. I know op is not quite top of band yet. My dh earns the same salary and takes home £2450 ?? I know NHS pension is a lot, but student loan repayments must be huge too?

Or is the £1600 for four days work ?

What about child benefit OP? Do you get that?

@Ozanj

How heavy is your workload Fridays? If it’s light then just skip them. When I wfh with 2 yo DS I just switch my camera off during meetings and use a noise cancelling headset so people can’t hear him in the background

As other posters have said, definitely do not do this. And noise cancelling headphones block out what you hear. They don't stop other people on the call hearing all the noise you are oblivious too! You need to press mute. Or get some proper childcare.

The 2yo DD is already in nursery Mon-Fri 8am-6pm. I don’t think time with children is being prioritised here. Paying the bills is.
I personally agree with you; I’m not sure what the point was but OP has stated they wanted 2 children so that’s what they’ve done.

Oh, my post didn’t quote the PP I was replying to but never mind.

From your post stating your outgoings OP, you don’t mention any savings.
Do you have any savings? What are you going to do for unexpected things; car failing MOT, new boiler, any accident meaning your DH cannot work for a while.

Can DH get a weekend job?

Op I can’t see any you are getting such a drubbing on here. Cost of living is utterly spiralling and wages are going up at 2.4% in the public sector (statistically - that doesn’t necessarily mean it gets to the little people. And 2.4% of nothing is still nothing). Pre Christmas it was looking like the pandemic was over and we were getting back to normal so I can see why you thought it was ok to ttc.

Please don’t give up and go on benefits. It will be so much harder to get back in the workplace later on and long term your career prospects and REM will grow with experience.

The first few years with a family are a notoriously a juggling act. Hang in there.

If you are a nurse register with an agency. Work 1 shift on a Sunday and get enough money to cover your childcare shortfall for 6 months.

@WalrusSubmarine

Op I can’t see any you are getting such a drubbing on here. Cost of living is utterly spiralling and wages are going up at 2.4% in the public sector (statistically - that doesn’t necessarily mean it gets to the little people. And 2.4% of nothing is still nothing). Pre Christmas it was looking like the pandemic was over and we were getting back to normal so I can see why you thought it was ok to ttc.

Please don’t give up and go on benefits. It will be so much harder to get back in the workplace later on and long term your career prospects and REM will grow with experience.

The first few years with a family are a notoriously a juggling act. Hang in there.

She’s not getting a drubbing,, simoly no one can make the maths work. The numbers she’s presented have her struggling ro afford rhe child she has and a long way off affording rhe one she’s expecting.

It’s not about giving up and benefits, it’s about making sure they have a roof over their head and can feed themselves. Right now on thr maths presented they can’t.

Think Op is working 4 days so in region of 30 hours (but paying 40 hours childcare) hence salary lower. Public sector will be paying a decent chunk in pension hence my earlier post about pension.

Can you talk to work about temporarily tweaking your hours to 8-4.30. Husband could do morning drop off and you could pick up at 5. You'll just have to be really clear you can't do meetings after 4.30.

Sorry if I missed this but why are you working four days?

@twinsetandpearl cringe away love. I work in the future where employees have a say in how they work. I guess you must work in a backwards world. Sucks to be you! It doesn't bother my employer at all that I occasionally have to have my son with me - and this is something (i.e. flexible working) that we're actively pursuing in order to push into other sectors. By proving that allowing this sort of flexibility isn't detrimental to work output, we're pushing boundaries. Its worked so well in my company that we have won awards for it. If employers don't know what the issues are then they won't do anything to fix this. I love this workstyle and feel sorry for you that you are stuck in the "real world" where you get walked over. OP. Its worth a conversation with your employer at least. You never know. I'm sure they'd rather give up 15 minutes than lose you because effectively, you're running out of choices and if they value you as an employee, then a flexible approach might be effective. Or stick with pp who probably are earning less than their male colleagues and won't speak up because they live in the real world where women get walked over for having a family

Sorry to hear, @Notveryxmasy, sounds f’ing stressful! Would you consider going up from four to five days a week? I appreciate you would have to pay for another day of nursery but that would be outweighed by another day of pay. Not ideal when pregnant with a two year old but it’s only till October, it might even be soon enough for the five days to count towards your maternity pay?? Good luck with it all - everything will be worth it for the family you dreamed of

[quote Sparklybanana]@twinsetandpearl cringe away love. I work in the future where employees have a say in how they work. I guess you must work in a backwards world. Sucks to be you! It doesn't bother my employer at all that I occasionally have to have my son with me - and this is something (i.e. flexible working) that we're actively pursuing in order to push into other sectors. By proving that allowing this sort of flexibility isn't detrimental to work output, we're pushing boundaries. Its worked so well in my company that we have won awards for it. If employers don't know what the issues are then they won't do anything to fix this. I love this workstyle and feel sorry for you that you are stuck in the "real world" where you get walked over. OP. Its worth a conversation with your employer at least. You never know. I'm sure they'd rather give up 15 minutes than lose you because effectively, you're running out of choices and if they value you as an employee, then a flexible approach might be effective. Or stick with pp who probably are earning less than their male colleagues and won't speak up because they live in the real world where women get walked over for having a family [/quote]
What field are you in?

some people on here are absolutely awful. Not everyone has savings and a 6 figure salary. If we start saying only the wealthy can have children we are on a slippery path. It's vile.

She's pregnant, no point telling her how stupid that was as it's happening. No point making her feel bad for finances she can't do anything about. We didn't expect a lockdown where her husband couldn't work.

'Move house' - fucking brilliant idea. Absolute muppets suggesting that. Fees, stamp duty, moving costs...

It's hard but this is the actual reality for so many people. £3500 a month income is brilliant yet we see families struggling because the gov are bastards who give themselves pay rises whilst watching people starve and freeze to death. The millionaires in power don't give a shit.

Pay rise + no loan payments + free hours and I can see how they worked out affording childcare for both. It's tight but doable.

For now maybe work the 5 days as a day of you working will bring in more than you'll pay out for an extra day of nursery costs I'm guessing? And it's tough but the suggestion of self employed husband working for a company is good, it'll be better in terms of holidays and pay in the long term too. Could he look at getting a salaried employed position?

It'll be ok xxxx

@pompei8309

So you cannot afford an £100 a month but you’re having a baby? that wasn’t a very smart move , sorry

What a helpful and insightful contribution.

OP. Its worth a conversation with your employer at least. You never know. I'm sure they'd rather give up 15 minutes than lose you because effectively, you're running out of choices and if they value you as an employee, then a flexible approach might be effective. Or stick with pp who probably are earning less than their male colleagues and won't speak up because they live in the real world where women get walked over for having a family hmm

It's really not worth talking to the manager. The public sector has very different expectations and requirements. There is no way you would be allowed to look after your child at the same time as working as the 'outputs' are very different and there is no way you can fully concentrate on work if also doing something else. Public perception would not tolerate paying someone 2 hours a week for not working. The salaries are set and rigid too. There is no re-banding as it is not equal opportunities. This advice may be good in a business world but is not helpful to the OP

Could you take a shorter lunch break to reduce your hours slightly op?

Yes, ask about extending your mortgage..

A HUGE no to stopping your pension payments. I know it didn't sound a big deal now, but my mum stopped her pension for about 5 years of small child care, and now at 75, she has worked out what a difference it's made 40 years later. She's really struggling, and she wouldn't be if she kept that going.

Anyway, I'd start with the extended mortgage. Working on the premise that at some point you will over-pay/change it for a mortgage you can over pay, when everything settles down.

@littlemousebigcheese

Nobody is saying only the wealthy can have children. Nor is anybody saying you must have a 6 figure salary. What many of us are saying is that if your outgoings are higher than your income, it obviously extremely irresponsible to add to that by adding a child / children to the mix.
Children are expensive and debt & money worries often lead to mental health struggles which can lead to negative outcomes for both the children and the parents.
Food bank usage is at an all time high, more and more children are living in poverty. For many children, the meal they have at school is the only one they have that day.
Is this really what people want for their children? Do they really think oh I’ll just have another baby and somehow we will muddle through, even though we probably can’t afford enough food or to heat the house. Oh well, it’ll work out. I’ve seen parents on this forum saying oh we won’t eat so the DC can. Those in that position surely wouldn’t consider another child?

These are childrens lives! Completely unfair and irresponsible to bring a child into a life of struggling to make ends meet.

If a poster came on and started a thread;
“our bills are more than our income, we have no savings and no ability to save, we live month to month and have £50 left over each month, should we have another baby? ” absolutely nobody in their right mind would respond with a yes!!

Your mortgage is high in comparison to your income. Is it possible to remortgage to increase the years and reduce the payment?