Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

Have you investigated other childcare alternatives such as a childminder or using an au pair ? (An au pair can work out quite cheaply if you have a spare room and don't mind someone living with you). They also will help when the new baby comes along. Your daughter could then go to a local pre-school for half days for socialisation,

If there’s no other option then you’ll need to be honest with your manager / HR and tell them that you are struggling financially and that the only way you can continue to work full time and keep DD in nursery is to pick her up earlier, so you’d need to take 30 mins at 4.45 - 5.15 and make the time up after. If they agree this then just block the time out in your calendar.

You’re not asking for a favour occasionally, you’re asking to change your hours slightly for a short period of time. So ensure that they understand this and the terms are clear.

Ask them to help you facilitate this, lots of companies are trying to be more family friendly and it is absolutely the trend now to have a more flexible working day. I am going to ask to drop an hour two days a week and make them up on other days to avoid having to do wrap around care 5 nights a week.

As you are going off in October it would only be for 5 months and you can make up the time up by working slightly earlier / later.

I don’t see that you have another option, talking frankly to your work is going to be the best chance

Can your DH not get a permanent job with a steady full time wage? SE is very unpredictable and not ideal if you’re already struggling.

Could you ask your bank for a one month mortgage holiday? Then depending on how big your mortgage is, you might have all of the money needed for the extra childcare fees.
When the children are in school you can then overpay on the mortgage.

I think you need to submit a request to amend your hours, not all of your role involves online meetings, I take it there is an element of admin etc. How much of a % of the role is that, can it be flexed into evenings or one day a week/ weekend or such?

I see 2 options (admittedly neither are easy).
1: total honesty with work, be very clear about what you need from them. Explain that it is until October.
2: take dd out and find a childminder (nearly always cheaper).

Can you work compressed hours? So possibly 4 days a week or even 9 days in 10? And organise things so DH does the drop off and you start early so you can manage pickup at the same time as now?

Could you team up with another parent from the nursery and have a reciprocal arrangement with them about picking up each other's child and caring for them for a short time? You'd still need to ask your work for some flexibility on certain days, but much less than if you had no arrangement with another nursery parent?

What is DH job? Can he do childcare one week day and working one weekend day so you only need to pay for 4 days of childcare?

I think asking for mortgage holiday is a good idea,Also Council Tax will sometimes give a month or two free.Otherwise consider a loan or CC to tide you over? You can repay over a longer time .Not ideal but maybe a last resort in an emergency

I feel your pain, ours has gone up 8% with no warning (it always goes up but not that much!).

We are basically eating less, it’s the only bill we can control. Not DD obviously, she gets fed very well and not changing that. But when she is fed at nursery we are basically having more soup and toast rather than expensive meals. We have just 8 months to limp through until 30hrs kicks in. But we knew it was too tight for a second baby so didn’t go down that route.

Move house to a cheaper property, thus saving on mortgage/rent and moving closer to alternative nurseries or DH work.

I was going to suggest you do some weekend bank shifts but appreciate that is tricky if you’re pregnant. I am giving up the odd weekend day to do extra shifts because everything is so expensive at the moment. Can your husband work extra 1 or 2 Saturdays a month to make up shortfall?

Put in a flexible working request to fit around reducing hours at nursery (so essentially you would work less on a day you can look after dd, but more when dh can look after her). Might save a day or half day of fees a week. If you are in a union speak to your local rep if you need help putting in a request. If you happen to work NHS its even easier now.

How on earth are you planning to cope with 2 in childcare ? I guess your eldest will be 3 by then so you would get 30 free hours but that's still going to be a huge increase with 2 in childcare?

@Babyroobs

How on earth are you planning to cope with 2 in childcare ? I guess your eldest will be 3 by then so you would get 30 free hours but that's still going to be a huge increase with 2 in childcare?

Also have you looked at whether you can claim UC for help with childcare costs? The thresholds may be higher than you think.

@Babyroobs if you read the OPs posts she explains their thinking.

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

What was going to happen in a year? You would have to pay 2 sets of nursery fees. The 30 free hours wouldnt cover the oldest fully, so you'd have one full time to pay and the other one would be more than £100. If you cant afford the extra £100 now, what were you going to do when you had to pay more than that for both of them to be in nursery?

Isn't the 30 hours for term time only anyway so doesn't actually work out at that over the year?

Can you claim uc
Are you using tax free childcare
Are you claiming wfh allowance
Have you factored in your energy price more than doubling?
Can you remortgage interest only for a few years to tide you over?

Find a local childminder even doing 3 days at nursery 2 with childminder u will probably save some cash or at least not trying to find the extra £100 a month

I agree with lots of suggestions here re flexible working and compressed hours etc for you.

However, you haven't said much about DH other than the fact he's self employed and work is an hour away. What's the situation with him? If he's self employed he should be able to set his own hours. If he's having to work set hours with no flexibility then is there any point to him being self-employed? Freelance workers don't have flexibility but earn incredible rates per day - but by your description it doesn't sound as if that's the case.

Could he not do some work on evenings/weekends so he could step in with DD in the week?

[quote Porcupineintherough]**@Babyroobs* if you read the OPs* posts she explains their thinking.[/quote]
Sorry missed that, have caught up now !

Lots of things to think about. Try not to assume you know what work will say - they might surprise you! (Especially if they think they might lose you)

Best of luck working it out 🌸

Is your nursery really pay per hour? We only have day or half day rates here.

In your situation I'd have her do 4 full days 1 half day. The half day at home would have to be a good long nap, a naughty 2 hours of TV and a good half hour of snacks. It'd be good for her to learn independent play.

Can you try to reorganise your debt to have lowe monthly payback on that?

It does seem very very tight for the second child as children cost more than just nursery.and of course nursery costs will increase again by the time they go to nursery in eighteen months, so I think you both need to find a longer term solution to help you through that period, as you will still have wrap around care and holiday care for your oldest to cover.