Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

[quote Sparklybanana]@twinsetandpearl cringe away love. I work in the future where employees have a say in how they work. I guess you must work in a backwards world. Sucks to be you! It doesn't bother my employer at all that I occasionally have to have my son with me - and this is something (i.e. flexible working) that we're actively pursuing in order to push into other sectors. By proving that allowing this sort of flexibility isn't detrimental to work output, we're pushing boundaries. Its worked so well in my company that we have won awards for it. If employers don't know what the issues are then they won't do anything to fix this. I love this workstyle and feel sorry for you that you are stuck in the "real world" where you get walked over. OP. Its worth a conversation with your employer at least. You never know. I'm sure they'd rather give up 15 minutes than lose you because effectively, you're running out of choices and if they value you as an employee, then a flexible approach might be effective. Or stick with pp who probably are earning less than their male colleagues and won't speak up because they live in the real world where women get walked over for having a family [/quote]
There is literally nothing forward thinking about expecting parents to try and work and care well for their kids at the same time. That’s what drove so many parents to the brink during lockdowns. Expecting people to work like they have no kids and parent like they have no job is literally the opposite of forward thinking

Flexibility is forward thinking. But flexibility doesn’t mean having your young children around while you do a half arsed job at work! It means flexible hours, not taking the piss. Anyone who thinks they work just the same with young kids there is kidding themselves.

For someone so ‘forward thinking’ you’re also oddly interpreting this as a women’s problem. It was me who talked about ‘back in the real world’ in response to your earlier post. In my ‘real world’ both my husband and I work reduced flexible hours. We also have enough professionalism to ensure our children are in childcare while we work. My real world is just great thanks and far better than what you’re apparently advocating for which is that women do all things at all times, neither very well.

@Wonderfulstuff

Honestly unless we start protesting for proper quality subsidised childcare nothing is going to change. The whole 'wait til they're three' thing is absolute bullshit. Most parents have to work and it's only a minority who get the luxury of escaping the need for paid childcare.

Why the government think that some how children miraculously care for themselves between mat leave(if you're fortunate enough to have paid mat leave as who the fuck can survive on £140 a week?!) and until they turn 3 is a mystery to me. And even if you do get free hours it's only 21 hours a week if you don't have the liberty of only working term time. It's pretty much just a way to force women out of the work place and back into the home.

And yes my nursery fees have just gone up too. I support the raise as the staff need to be paid and operational costs have no doubt increased too. But the government need to stop sitting on their hands and do something to help working parents (and let's be honest, it's Mums who mainly feel this pain).

I’m sorry but I object to you calling it a “luxury” to escape paid childcare. I have one child and had to give up my beloved 40 hour job because my employer said flexible working was not an option and I don’t have any family help. After three years as a stay at home mum I got a job at my child’s preschool where I am still. I’m not really suited to it, love children but find the job exhausting and the workplace cliquey but I keep at it because it means I can be there for every single school pick up and I have always had lots of quality time with her. The flip side of this is, I am still on minimum wage, have been worried sick about money for years and had zero luxuries. I’ve not had a new coat, a proper haircut or a decent holiday for years.

There is no “luxury”, no right answer. Whatever decisions mothers make there is always huge sacrifices being made. The real problem here is the lack of flexible working available to women. We need to be angry about that not judging each other. Best of luck OP, I know nurseries and preschools are really struggling so these charges are necessary for their survival but it leaves working parents in such a precarious position. I hope you manage to find a workable solution.

OP I really feel for you.

If you work four days a week then either negotiate with nursery to only pay for 4 (you might be surprised) or you need to work another job in that 5th day. Preferably nursing but if not then anything like warehouse work, bar work if needs be.

I get the impression your dh does something landscapy. He needs to be working literally all the daylight house. Can he tractor drive? Get some harvest weekend work. 60-70 hour weeks till the baby is born and rack up some hours.

Other people will say on here those hours are nuts and Detrimental to family life. Short term it's fine and you'll survive - once you're through the childcare years you'll be buzzing again.

Good luck

If you work public sector check your contract, many terms and conditions are your core working hours are 10-4pm with lunch to be taken between 12-2pm. Then the additional hours you work to make up your time to full time are at your choosing as long as you are in work for those core hours.

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee - I disagree. Certain public sector work is very accommodating. A little too accommodating in my opinion as so many people are still using covid as an excuse not to go to the work place or pay for adequate childcare.

sorry op should have read the full thread, I realise you can’t change your hours so my comment didn’t help you at all.

some people on here are absolutely awful. Not everyone has savings and a 6 figure salary. If we start saying only the wealthy can have children we are on a slippery path. It's vile

Abolstely no one said this. I think you have misunderstood. The op has posted about finances and people are just responding because obviously if they have fifty or sixty quid spare and they both wish to stay in employment then even with pay rise and the extra three hundred a month and extra hours they simoly cannot make ends meet so they need to reduce elswhere.

They may have no other option than one of them gives up work and stays home with the kids and they claim benefits.

Hi OP,
I looked up band 6 and I found it to be about 32k - is that correct?

My husband earns 22k and comes home with just under £1500 - and is in the pension, has student loan etc.

I can't understand how you can earn 10k more but only come home with £100 odd more? Can you double check your tax code and your deductions? Is childcare taken off your wage before you are paid for tax free childcare? If this is the case that will alter your sum.

My nursery is paid by the hour, I'm aware that's not necessarily common but I'm not mistaken about that.

I already work 4 days a week but because of the way the nursery charge DD has to be in nursery full time as we need to pay for 8-6 which is 40 hours; I can't be at work at 5 and pick her up at 5 so we have always had to pay for 8-6.

She doesn’t mean DC is in nursery 5 days when she works 4 days. She means she’s paying ‘full time’ hours on 4 days i.e. 40 hours @ £5p/hr = £865 but only working 32 hrs (9-5?) and she can’t cut her hours on the days DC is in nursery.

But I think this could be the solution!
Flexible hours over 5 days not 4 with work e.g. Mon-Fri 8.30-3.30 (35 hours). Pay for nursery 9-4 (35 hours). DH drops every day at 9 (and works 10-6 not 9-5). OP picks up at 4pm. Extra pay, less nursery hours. Work happy because 5 days cover.

Can you switch to an interest free mortgage while children are in nursery? That's what I'd did - it meant a 75% saving in mortgage bill which I used to cover childcare costs. Not ideal as will now be paying mortgage off longer but meant I could keep home and child!

I have just spotted you work 4 days explains it.
When you say you have to pay full time for your daughter do you mean pay for 5 days? Or just for full days?

If your husband can't work overtime perhaps a second job might be the answer just in the short term. This doesn't need to be related to what he does in the day job - could be anything. I say your husband as you are pregnant I'm guessing a second job would be too much unless it were not physical which might be harder to come by.

@NoSquirrels this is really good advice

My lender just did it... no stipulations... just switched!

Sadly, I think you underestimate how much better off you will be when your eldest is at school. She will still need wrap around care and care throughout all the school holidays (12 to 13 weeks of the year). Temporarily finding this extra £100 a month isn't going to fix anything. And yes, I have read your earlier post about how you hoped you'd "make it work".

Have you factored in a doubling of domestic energy costs too?

I wfh during lockdown and it was all video calls that I had to lead and my 18m would sit next to me quietly as long as she had food, drink and things to play with. Mostly set up colouring, and iPad to peppa pig. No it isn't great parenting but it worked and needs must. I was about to try wfh with toddler and 10m old but I already know I can't with the youngest - she is a different ball game altogether!

My point being maybe you could do that half a day a week or couple hours one afternoon.
With my new hybrid role I am using my half hour lunch break to do the nursery pick up which is about the same distance as yours (slightly longer-9miles each way) so asking to make up 15mins at end of the day. It is also NHS. But they are keen to support working parents so hope they can accommodate something for you too.

'Move house' - fucking brilliant idea. Absolute muppets suggesting that. Fees, stamp duty, moving costs...

I don't think any of the "move housers" have suggested that this is a short term solution. Simply that this potentially isn't a short term problem and some radical change to the family's life may be necessary to afford to keep a roof over their head. And moving somewhere cheaper, perhaps less rurally so reduced transport costs as well, although it costs in the short term might make their life easier in the long term

I think the OP has had some good suggestions here

• can she extend the mortgage term
• can she go interest only on the mortgage
• can the husband look again at his car needs, get a cheaper car etc
• can they look at their grocery outgoings,, these seem high

Out of all of that they may well release an extra 100 a month to cover this problem and then once the new baby comes they'll have to see what they can do then

This was always going to happen unfortunately. Where your food, heating, water and council tax has gone up, so gave the nurseries. Min wage has also rightly gone up but this is a huge expense to places like nurseries also. They have to get the money from somewhere amd unfortunately it is going to have to be from the clients of the business same for hairdressers, gardeners, garages, cleaners etc... the flexible working suggestion is a good one - could you work 4 longer days and drop a day or half a day at nursery? I feel for you but everyone is being hit by this :(

That represents £700 between April and October, maybe £800 if it's to the end of the month.

For £700, I'd stick it on a loan or credit card just to get me through. But I am basing this upon my own attempts to request an adjustment to shift my finish time to be able to pick up the kids rather than pay hundreds for a 2.5 hour after school club that I only technically needed for twenty five minutes when working in the NHS - an outright NO, the needs of the service dictated that this was absolutely impossible, despite the fact that somebody else was prepared to swap starting times with me. I also had to pay the full amount, there was no reducing the times and no childminder would take on kids for less than an hour a day.

But I wasn't very important. Maybe somebody on £34K is worth adapting for, compared to somebody who was on £15K?

@Winter2020

Hi OP, I looked up band 6 and I found it to be about 32k - is that correct?

My husband earns 22k and comes home with just under £1500 - and is in the pension, has student loan etc.

I can't understand how you can earn 10k more but only come home with £100 odd more? Can you double check your tax code and your deductions? Is childcare taken off your wage before you are paid for tax free childcare? If this is the case that will alter your sum.

Top band 6 which op is going up to soon is around 39k though rather than 32k.

Another idea would be renegotiating your mortgage perhaps? I added 2 years to ours and saved £175 a month. Is this doable? I know its not ideal but you could try to overpay once you are on a more even keel?

@TiddleyWink I wholeheartedly agree. During lockdown I was trying to juggle a 3yo and 1yo at points. It was fundamentally unsafe and is not something I’d ever want to put forward as a good solution. I’m all for flex and juggling on the odd occasions but I would never sign off an arrangement where parents were working from home and in sole charge of an under 5. I’d be too worried as an employer than I’d be liable if there were accidents involving the child. I just don’t think you can give a child appropriate attention while working effectively. I want (and have) flexible hours, the ability to flex start and finish times and to work from home. I don’t think we should be trying to promote a model of working full days while caring for small children on a regular basis.