Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

[quote Ikeptgoing]@Notveryxmasy
That sounds so tough

I know it seems cheeky as many female workers aren't usually good at asking for this, but take a lead from "the man book", can you talk to your manager about a potential pay rise? If you've been working well and are valued , without a pay rise for some time- can you make a case you are worth more yourself for the work you do? [/quote]
OP said public sector. No chance of asking for a pay rise, it just doesn't work like that.
Pay increments have to be earned by performance management processes.

I have a 2 year and I work from home. He's there with me a fair amount of time because of the sheer amount of illness - but he's quite capable of doing something by himself for a bit. I reckon if you pick up early and ensure she has things to do and snacks and milk then it won't be noticeable. I would also say to your employer that you need a pay rise and if they can't do that then they will need to be flexible in terms of either hours worked or acceptance that after 3, your child will be there. If that 15 mins makes the difference then ensure she's picked up then. Needs must. Or, your dh needs to be home for that time and have it as admin time or something.

@Sparklybanana

I have a 2 year and I work from home. He's there with me a fair amount of time because of the sheer amount of illness - but he's quite capable of doing something by himself for a bit. I reckon if you pick up early and ensure she has things to do and snacks and milk then it won't be noticeable. I would also say to your employer that you need a pay rise and if they can't do that then they will need to be flexible in terms of either hours worked or acceptance that after 3, your child will be there. If that 15 mins makes the difference then ensure she's picked up then. Needs must. Or, your dh needs to be home for that time and have it as admin time or something.

Seriously? 😳

I don't know where to start with this. A 2 yo should not be in your care while you wfh - you can do either of these things, not both.

Imagine suggesting the OP tells her employers that after 3 she'll work, but they have to accept her toddler will be there too 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Sparklybanana

I have a 2 year and I work from home. He's there with me a fair amount of time because of the sheer amount of illness - but he's quite capable of doing something by himself for a bit. I reckon if you pick up early and ensure she has things to do and snacks and milk then it won't be noticeable. I would also say to your employer that you need a pay rise and if they can't do that then they will need to be flexible in terms of either hours worked or acceptance that after 3, your child will be there. If that 15 mins makes the difference then ensure she's picked up then. Needs must. Or, your dh needs to be home for that time and have it as admin time or something.

I don't know anyone able to hold down employment with a 2 year old to entertain. Are you able to give enough attention to your job and child? I couldn't manage it.

There are really some nasty judgemental comments on here, suggesting OP was unreasonable to have another child.
When OP became pregnant she may not have know that food, petrol, energy and nursery fees would increase so drastically

OP can you please explain one thing?

In the calculations you have provided in your last post with the detailed breakdown of your outgoings - where precisely was the nursery fees of baby no 2 fitting in?

If you write down those outgoings as you have - where would you fit the nursery fees for No 2?

(I understand you’ve said you were “hoping” but I’m just curious about the practical calculation on paper)

@Sparklybanana have you ever met a 2 year old?

Mine came to check on me in between me closing the toilet door and pulling my pants down for a pee because he wanted to show me his remote control car there is no time to work….

@Sparklybanana

I have a 2 year and I work from home. He's there with me a fair amount of time because of the sheer amount of illness - but he's quite capable of doing something by himself for a bit. I reckon if you pick up early and ensure she has things to do and snacks and milk then it won't be noticeable. I would also say to your employer that you need a pay rise and if they can't do that then they will need to be flexible in terms of either hours worked or acceptance that after 3, your child will be there. If that 15 mins makes the difference then ensure she's picked up then. Needs must. Or, your dh needs to be home for that time and have it as admin time or something.

And back in the real world where paid employees don’t get to dictate to their employers when they have decided they will work and precisely how many toddlers they will be caring for during their ‘working’ hours….

OP please disregard this laughable advice if you a) want to keep your job and b) be taken even remotely seriously as a working adult.

@OutTheOtherSideAndBeyond

Sounds tough OP.

Can you investigate 50/50 on the pension scheme which means that your contribution is halved, you need to calculate the tax savings though so you won't actually save 50%.

Childcare costs are absolutely crippling.

I don't agree with the people who say you shouldn't be having no 2! Really uncharitable!!!

You just need to get over this bump and you'll be fine. I second calling StepChange - fabulous organisation.

I sympathise massively with the OP.

But I can understand peoples confusion as to why someone is having another baby if they aren’t in a financial position to do so. It’s mad and very sad that two hard working adults should have to consider whether they can afford a child, but it’s the reality of life right now. By waiting a year or so, the first child would have had the free hours, some people want a certain age gap I understand that but I feel you have consider the other factors that impact that. I’d love for my two year old to have a sibling but at present, it would be wrong for us to do so, as I couldn’t afford a maternity leave and the cost of childcare for two children.

I'm not sure what the issue is. It's so short term that these costs are so high in the grand scheme of things and it's something every working parent goes through for a few years. With two well paid jobs it should be relatively easy to get a loan or put stuff on interest free credit to get them by. Literally every parent in my friendship group has done this and here we all are out of the other side with teenagers and not one of us remains in debt. Op has a top ( soon ) band 6 NHS job presumably secure, excellent pension, one of the best around. In the longer term they will easily survive, barring any major job loss. Not worth getting stressed about an extra £100 a month, not worth risking your childs safety by trying to work and supervise them and certainly not worth ringing in sick for 6 months and risking your job for ! I know it's not easy but these years aren't for anyone, people just suck it up, do whatever you need to get through. Once they are at school you have a few years when you are better off and to save a bit for when then the teenage years hit !

Groegg - exactly and by waiting a year or so and planning, people get to avoid the stress, keep their jobs and keep afloat in the longer term. Honestly all those working years ahead earning good salaries, it's a small sacrifice to wait a year or so.

[quote Wonderfulstuff]@Autumn42 Forgetting for a moment that as a women I might have actually studied and worked hard for my career so shouldn't have to just give that up for the sake of a child, practically speaking it would be impossible for us to manage a mortgage and bills on a single salary. I've always known that I would have to work and pay for childcare. And I don't maintain the same standard of living as I had before becoming a parent - thanks for the assumption - I have made many sacrifices along the way. This is the only way I can afford £70 a day nursery fees.

Comparing raising a child 'these days' with raising a child years ago is pointless. The cost of housing is now so much higher. Whether you rent or own it is unlikely that you'll be able to do so on a single salary. Property prices are over 1000% higher than they were in 1980 - wages have not increased at the same rate (only around 40-45% increase with longer hours worked for salaried workers than ever before).

Also, I really can't get behind the view that only the exceptionally wealthy get to have children.[/quote]
Yes I also studied and worked for many years to establish my career. We also carefully considered where we could afford to live, they type of house we could afford to live in to enable us to have children. Not to mention the things we would inevitably have to cut back on. The unexpected happens in life and for some having children without state support is just not a possibility, that’s why I’m so glad and grateful we live in a country where universal credit exists so that it is possible to have children or not live in poverty if you are not well off. Most people on universal credit can only dream of having the security and investment that is a mortgaged house.
The fact that I am exactly the same position, family income only just above UC levels, large mortgage, paying 70% of my salary on childcare etc (previously over 100% of my salary) as most of these mothers demanding more heavily subsidised childcare makes me even more perplexed as to their sense of entitlement. Where do they think this money will come from?? When I was a SAHM we lived on a significant deficit, we could of actually really done with the tax my DH paid for even the basics but it was absolutely the best thing for my children at that particular point in my family’s life that I was there for them. I would not have to wanted that choice to be taken away from us by even higher taxes just to fund this new generation of entitled parents who want their house with the ensuite, separate bedrooms for the kids and a garden in a nice area, to run 2 cars, attend £10 a session baby swim sessions and costa catch ups on their days off and a nice yearly holiday and then plead poverty when it comes to paying for the substitute care for their precious little ones.
By the way I grew up in the 1980s and most working class people didn’t own their own house unless they’d done RTB, poverty was far worse among the poorest (single parents without divorce settlements etc) than todays generation could ever imagine

Just to echo what others have said, be prepared to top up the 30hours free childcare. Our nursery wanted £20+ a day when we got our funding so it was still quite a bit a month. My dd2 is at a school based nursery now, she went there at 4, its brilliant as we are using the 30hours over 3 days term time only, I use the wrap around care there as part of the hours. There are no top up fees to pay and she loves it. I moved her in September when she had just turned 4 from the private day nursery and she transitioned really well, with little upset. Just worth bearing a school based nursery in mind for the future. As for now I'd look at seeing how flexible work can be with doing a bit outside of your normal hours to make time up. It's only until mat leave and that will come round quickly, you could even use up some annual leave to finish for mat leave earlier and not need nursery as long, even just a day a week for a month might help.

@IlFaitBeau

OP can you please explain one thing?

In the calculations you have provided in your last post with the detailed breakdown of your outgoings - where precisely was the nursery fees of baby no 2 fitting in?

If you write down those outgoings as you have - where would you fit the nursery fees for No 2?

(I understand you’ve said you were “hoping” but I’m just curious about the practical calculation on paper)

OP has already said her old loan will be cleared in Oct which will free up a few hundred more a month. Also then she can drop nursery fees a bit (although personally I would make sure she does at least 1 day as week - if that's allowed and if that allows you to still save.)

It looks like it's just the next 6mo OP has to get through. To be perfectly honest I'd put it on a 0% credit card or similar and pay off what I can. Obviously you don't want to run up more debt but it's £600 which isn't too bad if you set your mind to managing it.

groeggmeg, sadly, I am very aware that fertility isn't predictable, a bit like the economy really!

There's no way I would have let finances stop me from having a second baby in the, what is a, very short term.

There will be a way through this for the OP.

@Sparklybanana

I have a 2 year and I work from home. He's there with me a fair amount of time because of the sheer amount of illness - but he's quite capable of doing something by himself for a bit. I reckon if you pick up early and ensure she has things to do and snacks and milk then it won't be noticeable. I would also say to your employer that you need a pay rise and if they can't do that then they will need to be flexible in terms of either hours worked or acceptance that after 3, your child will be there. If that 15 mins makes the difference then ensure she's picked up then. Needs must. Or, your dh needs to be home for that time and have it as admin time or something.

Actually cringing on your behalf at the absurdity / stupidity of your post

I also think the 100 month increase is the least of the ops issues.

Op as sad as it is, I’d consider one of you stopping working and looking at the benefits you’d receive to see if you can make ends meet. Right now you can’t, but maybe if you went to benefits you could. and I get how awful that is, but you’re a fair way short of being able to afford a second child..

@OutTheOtherSideAndBeyond

groeggmeg, sadly, I am very aware that fertility isn't predictable, a bit like the economy really!

There's no way I would have let finances stop me from having a second baby in the, what is a, very short term.

There will be a way through this for the OP.

Fertility isn’t predictable but my priority is providing for the child I have not the child I want. We are all different, the OP states they planned for this this way as they worked it out to be doable, and although it’s doable, that’s providing no further expenses pop up.

Trying to work and childmind is a no go. I might be way off but Op could be something like a CBT therapist or occupational therapist. So meetings are client appointments. Imagine waiting for months only to find your practitioner is distracted by a small child plus confidentiality issues. Even admin office work it’s a no go unless dire emergency.

I sympathise Op, we found out today that ours has increased by 8%. It's not going to be the last bill to significantly increase this year either.

You can probably muddle through the next 6 months by cutting back on childcare use by half a day and cutting out luxuries from food shopping.

I have no idea how you will pay for another nursery place even if you do have another £500-£600 a month after Mat Leave. The truth is that everything will increase faster than an NHS salary under this govt. One of you is going to need to make a drastic change to where/ how you work.

It’s not doable though, they are short, I don’t understand what maths they used, but they can’t afford it, the only way may be If one of them quits and they claim benefits, but they couldn’t afford it then and they can’t now, they are short,

The only think I can suggest in the short term (and it sucks) is to use holiday to keep her home somehow. If your work will allow half a day a week or a day fortnight or something, it might help a bit until you can figure out a better solution. It’s awful, no family with two working parents should face this.

Mines up by £7 a day.... from sept

What is quite shocking is that op only brings home £1600 from a top band 6 job which is 39k at top of band. I know op is not quite top of band yet. My dh earns the same salary and takes home £2450 ?? I know NHS pension is a lot, but student loan repayments must be huge too?