Nursery have increased fees by 10% and we can't afford it.

[Notveryxmasy]

With full time hours that's £100 a month more and we can't afford it. We don't have that money each month. We live rurally, I work from home and DH is a contractor so no one set place of work so DD has to go to a local childcare setting and there just aren't many to choose from at all. Her current nursery by sheer dumb luck is less than a mile down the road; I'd have to drive 6 miles to get to another one by which time the fuel using 24 miles every day would eat up any savings we could possibly make moving her. She's also settled and loves it there, I don't want to disrupt her. No chance of a pay rise as I'm public sector and DH is SE and already doing everything he can to earn what he does.

She currently goes 8-6 as I work 8:30-5. I pick her up by quatre past 5 but the nursery don't do half hours so we have to pay for the full 10 hours. I have sent an email to ask if they will please consider allowing us to drop an hour a day and let her do 8:15 to 5:15 but I haven't heard anything back and I'm not holding out hope. All our bills have increased so much these past few months and we're expecting another baby, we don't have this extra money. What can we do if the nursery refuse to let her drop an hour?

We don't have sky, we don't eat out, we don't have luxuries, I don't even have a smart phone these days as I couldn't afford to replace it when it broke. There's nothing we can cut out to magically find that £100 every month.

@Ozanj

How heavy is your workload Fridays? If it’s light then just skip them. When I wfh with 2 yo DS I just switch my camera off during meetings and use a noise cancelling headset so people can’t hear him in the background

Many employers dont allow that and are not insured for that You have to sign an annual agreement saying that you do not have supervision of a child under 12.

Do your work know?

Sorry I’ve seen DH is £1900 net. So if he swaps to a sahd he needs about £935 net earnings evening and weekends for next 6 months to be in same position. Plus savings in fuel as he’s got a expensive 1 hour car commute at minute.
You could up your work 5 days? If you have the job with more benefits bigger pension contributions, sick pay etc it makes sense.
No idea what his skills are but £250 a week net is doable eg 2 x 12 hour care shifts at weekend.

I didn’t read it that she was in nursery for 5 days- more than the 10 hours she needed each day equated to ‘full time’ for those days.

Be honest - would your husband earn more in an employed role? MN seems to be full of self employed husbands who refuse to work for anyone else but actually don’t do that well out of being SE. Not saying that’s your DH but just asking.

The reality is he may have to get a second job. Even one evening shift a week somewhere should make up the shortfall. Hard of course but it seems like your problems should be reasonably short term so needs must.

Are both of you doing every possible side hustle - survey sites, cashback sites, online market research, buying and selling etc? You should be able to generate £50 a month each that way.

You could advertise and do some evening babysitting - a mum with kids of her own could be popular. Again, one evening a week would make up the shortfall.

Your budget is very tight but £100 a month isn’t an insurmountable extra to make - unless you’re doing all of the above already just to stay afloat?

Also if you have childcare five days a week, but only work four days, surely you have a full day a week you could dedicate to making extra income - or just increase your hours in your main job?

@Babyroobs

I'm not sure how many parents afford these fees. My friend compresses five working days into four so 9.5 hour days but always stressed and already planning another baby. And there's always the risk that employers will want her back in the office full time. Seems stressful but living costs seems to mean two parents both working full time. It's hard.

I know a couple who both did compressed hours so that they only had to pay for 3 days childcare.

And two colleagues share a nanny, who comes to their homes. They alternate which home they're at weekly.

I used to work in HR within NHS. Honestly, what I'd do is give notice to nursery, go sick on full pay (important for your maternity qualifying weeks) until maternity starts then come up with a plan for once maternity ends. You're protected by employment law and by the time you get back from mat leave it'll have been wiped from rolling year record.

Is it moral? No, not really. Would I do it to feed my family? Yes.

You say no family nearby. Is there free family childcare in a different location? You wfh so you could work at your Mums and stay there part of week if offer was there. Obviously if it’s hundred of miles fuel costs will mean not viable but a couple of hours if there is a willing family member could work.

@fridaRose

we had hoped that we could just make it work and make it to the other side of childcare and then actually have some disposable income again.

You 'hoped' , didn't create enough of a buffer in case some unexpected costs come up - and they did.
Sorry but you shouldn't have planned another child when you can't afford it. It's just how it is and we have to deal with our circumstances, not just have another baby hoping for the best.
Speaking as a mum of one kid.

@fridaRose the tone of your post is awful. There is no need to be so harsh - the OP was looking for advice not a lecture.

Do you have any constructive advice to contribute? No, thought not. Just wanted to have a kick.

Your outgoings are eyewatering!

You must either live in a mansion or a very expensive area to have such a high mortgage.

Paying that amount in you must have a fair bit of equity. If it's temp cash flow issue the best solution is to remortgage to free up cash for childcare til the youngest gets 30 hours.

The car spend is also very big. Can you sell and get an old banger?

Pensions and insurances have value but they aren't as important as heating and eating and if you are really struggling then they have to go.

You also have 5 non working days a week between you and your partner to make some extra short term cash. You just have to think creatively and flexibly.

@Wonderfulstuff

Honestly unless we start protesting for proper quality subsidised childcare nothing is going to change. The whole 'wait til they're three' thing is absolute bullshit. Most parents have to work and it's only a minority who get the luxury of escaping the need for paid childcare.

Why the government think that some how children miraculously care for themselves between mat leave(if you're fortunate enough to have paid mat leave as who the fuck can survive on £140 a week?!) and until they turn 3 is a mystery to me. And even if you do get free hours it's only 21 hours a week if you don't have the liberty of only working term time. It's pretty much just a way to force women out of the work place and back into the home.

And yes my nursery fees have just gone up too. I support the raise as the staff need to be paid and operational costs have no doubt increased too. But the government need to stop sitting on their hands and do something to help working parents (and let's be honest, it's Mums who mainly feel this pain).

I don’t think anyone is assuming children magically care for themselves from the end of maternity leave until funded hours. In the past parents just assumed they would care for their children or pay a substitute. Universal credit childcare support exists for those who really need it so it’s not as if this is a don’t have children if you can’t afford them argument. I just don’t quite understand why parents these days think they should be able to maintain the same standard of living when they’ve not even bothered to think about who will care for their preschool children when funded hours don’t start till 3 and it doesn’t take too much research to find that out

Sorry you are in a tight spot. I work for NHS too. To cut down on childcare costs I start work about hour earlier (8-5:30) the last hour of my job is flexible and I can do anytime in evening at home so I pick little ones up around 5. I start early but other half drops them off. It means I work 9 hour days- so I do 18 hours a week and pay for 2 days of childcare.
Could you do interest only payments on your mortgage?
Hope you can work something out.

@felulageller l don’t think the mortgage is that bad -it’s over £200 a month cheaper than ours. We don’t live in a mansion just a standard 3 bed terrace

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

What was going to happen in a year? You would have to pay 2 sets of nursery fees. The 30 free hours wouldnt cover the oldest fully, so you'd have one full time to pay and the other one would be more than £100. If you cant afford the extra £100 now, what were you going to do when you had to pay more than that for both of them to be in nursery?

I was going to ask this OP, as you’ll be paying two sets of fees when your baby goes to nursery. It is tough for so many at the moment with so many rises in costs, I’m not sure what the solution is but hope it all works out for you OP.

OP it's actually not that long you have to pay the extra £100. I'd get a 0% credit card and pay it back when you can. In the grand scheme of life it's not that much. It's going to be £600. In the grand scheme of life it's not that much.

Please don't worry yourself unduly. And don't take a career hit because of £600. It's not worth it in the long run.

£300 on groceries seems the only possible place to really cut back. Have a look at thrifty Lesley and other budget meal planning sites that provide tips, meal plans and recipes costed at around £1 per day per person and nutritionally balanced with five a day. Even if you only followed a plan every second week that might be enough to get you through?

I make about £40 a month doing online surveys in the evenings. It's extremely boring but every little helps so might be worth considering? Do you have anything you could sell on eBay, obviously it wouldn't work if you needed an extra £100/month on a permanent basis but you only need to cover 6 months or so

Can your DH start work later and do drop offs at 9.30 and you pick up 5.30?

@over2021

I used to work in HR within NHS. Honestly, what I'd do is give notice to nursery, go sick on full pay (important for your maternity qualifying weeks) until maternity starts then come up with a plan for once maternity ends. You're protected by employment law and by the time you get back from mat leave it'll have been wiped from rolling year record.

Is it moral? No, not really. Would I do it to feed my family? Yes.

Absolutely shocking. I'm sure op's family is not at risk of starving. Op is in a band 6 job, good pay and can work from home, yet you are suggesting she rings in sick for months when she is not sick ? Her baby isn't even due until October.

[quote NorthSouthcatlady]@felulageller l don’t think the mortgage is that bad -it’s over £200 a month cheaper than ours. We don’t live in a mansion just a standard 3 bed terrace[/quote]
Ditto!

Lots of people go a bit into debt in these years, I know many friends who did and once these few expensive years were over, they recovered quickly financially. Yet here we are with people suggesting all manner of immoral and frankly stupid suggestions for op getting by.

£300 on groceries seems the only possible place to really cut back.

I think someone mentioned that OP seems to have several hours on a Friday where she's not working but DC is at nursery. If getting extra paid hours for that time isn't an option, the obvious thing instead would be to batch cook for the freezer using cheap ingredients (pulses etc.). As well as the immediate win of cutting food costs, it would also free up more time at the evenings/ weekends for a 2nd job (because you no longer have to cook then), and give you something easy as a standby once the baby arrives.

@Babyroobs

Lots of people go a bit into debt in these years, I know many friends who did and once these few expensive years were over, they recovered quickly financially. Yet here we are with people suggesting all manner of immoral and frankly stupid suggestions for op getting by.

Exactly, we’ve had to cut back, borrow a bit etc with having young children. If your not in the category of being eligible for UC and also have an able bodied partner I’m not sure what all the fuss is about and where this expectation of subsidised childcare (above TFC and funded hours) ever came from. Was it just people looking at Europe and thinking they wanted the same, would they want their tax rates also?

I’m guessing DH does something s/e outdoors from the works for local landowners. Have you looked at options like him getting a job with tied accommodation eg on a country estate and selling your house. You wfh do can work anywhere.

Could she go to a cheaper nursery near where your DH works?