To have followed this teen girl?

[FrightorFlight]

On the school run yesterday I had to run into the supermarket to grab some bits. As I drove around the car park towards the exit I saw a teenage girl in school uniform talking to an adult male. She looked a little uncomfortable and upset. Halfway down the next row of cars I decided to swing back past and see if she had gone. She was walking ahead of the man who then veered off towards the supermarket doors and her in the opposite direction.
She was on the phone and visibly upset. The way the car park works you end up driving past the path the girl exited on. As she crossed the road she finished on her phone so I pulled over and wound my window down (pressed my window down?) and asked if she was ok. Just explained I had seen her talking to the guy, did she know him? She said it was her boss and I commented that she seemed a bit upset. Turns out she had lost her bank card.
Once we got home I was telling Dh and said 'is it weird that I did that?'
Dh says 'yeah, a bit'
Dd1 who is 16 then tells me her and her two friends were approached close to where we were by three adult males on Saturday afternoon. So on one hand it could have been something sinister and on the other hand I'm following a girl round a car park!

I am glad you stopped OP.

I will never forget when I was 16 my boyfriend had just broken up with me. I was at the bus station but the buses were every hour so I had ages to wait and I was just sat on a seat sobbing (like the 16 year hold heart broken girl would) and this woman sat with me and asked if I was alright. I poured my heart out to her and she sat and listened, told me that there would be someone else and not to worry but waited with me till I was on the bus home.

I won't ever forget her kindness and she won't know how much she helped me and how grateful I was.

I think your DH thinks that because he’s a bloke.

It’s better to check, and the more people that check the more people who are up to no good think society is not on their side.

I would have done the same. Have done similar things on a few occasions and although can seem a bit awkward. I recently saw a young lad with his head in his hands when I was walking my dog. He was still there half an hour later looking anxious and sad. I asked him if he was OK...had a little chat...GF family issues...they didn't approve of him. I think just showing you care goes a long way. Much better to be safe than sorry and later regretting not saying something...which I've done too I'm afraid. Gut instincts are often right.

I don't think it's weird at all, and am glad there are still people out there looking out for each other!

Defo yanbu! I would do the same.

You did absolutely the right thing

I think it sounds like your a really good human being. Having a teenager daughter it’s reassuring to think people are looking out for them, so thankful!

Thank you for doing that @FrightorFlight I think you did the right thing!

Imagine if your DH put you off and you hadn't started this thread you might not have reacted the same if this sort of thing happened again. That could be the time someone in distress actually needs the help.

@Newmummytoakitten similar happened to me at 17!

It was actually a really traumatic breakup for me, I won't go into it but he was very cruel!

It was a really awful experience but I'll always remember the kindness of the platform lady who checked on me and kept a discreet eye on me while I tried to pull myself together. I'm glad she did, I was a complete mess and it really made a difference that someone seemed to care at that point in time for me.

My dad checked up on a young girl once as was worried about her. Swiftly got a visit from the police like he was a paedo or something

@FrightorFlight

On the school run yesterday I had to run into the supermarket to grab some bits. As I drove around the car park towards the exit I saw a teenage girl in school uniform talking to an adult male. She looked a little uncomfortable and upset. Halfway down the next row of cars I decided to swing back past and see if she had gone. She was walking ahead of the man who then veered off towards the supermarket doors and her in the opposite direction. She was on the phone and visibly upset. The way the car park works you end up driving past the path the girl exited on. As she crossed the road she finished on her phone so I pulled over and wound my window down (pressed my window down?) and asked if she was ok. Just explained I had seen her talking to the guy, did she know him? She said it was her boss and I commented that she seemed a bit upset. Turns out she had lost her bank card. Once we got home I was telling Dh and said 'is it weird that I did that?' Dh says 'yeah, a bit' Dd1 who is 16 then tells me her and her two friends were approached close to where we were by three adult males on Saturday afternoon. So on one hand it could have been something sinister and on the other hand I'm following a girl round a car park!

I would have done the same thing. You acted on your gut and thankfully she was okay. What if you didn't check and he was hurting/grooming/stalking? The girls in Rochdale, Rotherham, Bristol, Derby....noone paid any attention to them and they are scarred for life. You did the right thing.

@Sofasogood1

My dad checked up on a young girl once as was worried about her. Swiftly got a visit from the police like he was a paedo or something

Better to have that, which I'm sure was easily sorted, than a girl who may have been in trouble go without help though right?

Did they blue light his house with multiple cars, shouting through megaphones about his supposed crimes or something?

Also isn't it good that clearly there was more than one person looking out for that girl that day @Sofasogood1

That's what we want surely?

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO OFFEND THAN IGNORE

Not weird at all, I just wish more people were like you x

You did the right thing.

Thank you

These stories are heartening and a good reminder.

I once saw a man dragging a young woman by the hand across the bus station. I stopped her, put myself between her and the man and spoke directly to her and asked if she was ok. She looked at me and then she ran away as fast as she could in the opposite direction. I told the police but they were quite “what do you want me to do” about it. Makes me feel sick to think about it.

I also found a woman in tears with a suitcase outside her house at 1am. She was leaving her abusive partner and her sister was coming to get her.

The last one was a woman who was very very high at a tube station. She was on her own and didn’t know where she was. I was trying to figure out how to get her home when a man came and said “there you are, come on let’s get you home”. I asked her if she knew him, but she didn’t respond. I kept asking her but she wouldn’t respond. He was saying “of course she does, I’m her boyfriend” and I just didn’t know what to do short of physically pulling her with me and they went off. I told the police but again they were no help. I wished I had properly intervened.

Way to minimise @TheGrinchsDog. And who do you think called the police?

I once walked past 3 young teenage girls one was sitting on the floor one was on the phone. I asked if they were ok they said yes. I carried on walking but something didn't sit right with me so I went back. I asked why she was on a wet floor. Her friend told me she couldn't stand and her legs were weak. I made them get a parent on the phone I then walked them to my car and drove them home. I didn't leave until an adult answered the door. Turned out they'd been drinking. I didn't get thanked but I'm glad I stuck my nose in. I dread to think what could of happened to 3 drunk 13 years olds on a cold wet day. At least i knew they were all safe.

100% the right thing to do. I would do the same (and have done).

You did the right thing it's not weird

Hmm I think we need to teach our kids that a stranger is not necessarily wellmeaning and harmless just because they are female. @fluffiny21 I certainly wouldnt be happy at a strange woman trying to get my DD into their car!

We stayed in a hotel recently and in the bar two tables away a man was verbally abusing his partner,when he went to the bar I asked her was she ok and she said no not really,anyway shortly after they left the bar and went to their room,we informed the staff and the police were called,he was beating her up in their room

@Porcupineintherough

Way to minimise *@TheGrinchsDog*. And who do you think called the police?

Minimise what exactly? That a safeguarding concern was raised and investigated?

The police did a check, I assume found nothing of concern and then would have fucked off again. Where is the harm there?

Like I said I'm sure they didn't turn up in droves shouting from the rooftops about suspected anything.

The PP said 'like he was a paedo or something' but what should the police done? Ignored a report of a clearly older man interacting with a younger clearly distressed woman in the street? Isn't that kind of the point about the thread?

I would assume another passerby called the police, probably not what I would have done but still isn't it better that someone else was also concerned over the girl? Isn't it preferable the police do their jobs and investigate concerns to ensure that there isn't something dodgy going on?

If I was an older man, I wouldn't be upset about that at all! I'd be pretty fucking happy that there are still people who care, even if that meant a few minutes inconvenience in my day for the police to come check everything was above board.

Seriously what is the alternative? In my mind it's not a great one, it involves a lot of people looking the other way for fear of a few questions later.

I would do the same. Definitely the right thing to do. I think your DH probably wouldn’t have done the same because actually a man doing what you did could also be viewed as a bit dodgy unfortunately