To think OH needs to come back now?

[neverendingwashing]

Had an awful argument yesterday and he went and stayed with his brother I'm 39 weeks pregnant I did tell him to get out but I couldn't cope with the arguing and I was getting stressed. He came back this morning and took the kids to school and picked them up and dropped them back of earlier. He's gone straight back to his brothers again I'm actually starting to think he's enjoying it.

I'm not very well (preclampsia) and I'm just struggling to get around to be honest. I thought he would have came back home today but no he's staying with his brother again.

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable? I know it was a terrible argument but I am kind of relying on him at the moment for help.

@KosherDill he will go out with his brother for hours for lunch (some occasions he would take the kids) but he would never go food shopping. He would repeatedly come back empty handed all the time the cupboards and the fridge are empty but his solution is to go for food. So I'm sat there on a evening waiting to see what he was going to say about dinner because I hadn't eaten all day and the kids would want their dinner. I'm not used to not having food in the cupboards or fridge no snacks for the kids or not having any plans for dinner.

He would say well im not hungry anyway I've already eaten so don't worry about me.

I mainly need help with the washing up it kills me to stand up for long periods of time he refuses to wash up because he hates it but will continue to add to it. cooking aswell he refuses to cook. These are the things that would help me but he just wouldn't do it.

I will get the kids dressed and ready for school and he will drop them off and pick them up. He does put the washing away and will get the hoover out now and again but they are quick easy jobs.

Who is more likely to be a practical support to you right now - your DH (who sounds useless and mean) or your DM?

If you'd rather have your DM tell him. You need help now. Not someone whining that he can't wash up because he doesn't enjoy it. Who does?

If he hasn't even confirmed that he's coming back, just assume that he's not and make your own plans.

I tried to go on strike with the washing up over the weekend but he didn't even care so it just made things worse for me so I ended up doing a ton of washing up.

You’re 39 weeks pregnant and you have preeclampsia. You need to get him to come back, not because he is a prince amongst men, but because preeclampsia is potentially a life threatening condition and you need support. If he is unwilling or unable to provide that support then you need to have someone else with you and you can worry about the crappy situation later. I’ve had preeclampsia and things can turn very bad very fast. Focus on you and your baby and do whatever it takes to make you safe. That’s what’s important right now.

If you have preclampsia you can not be left alone as you are increased risk of a stroke. I was in hospital for two months before my twins were born. We had a lady with preclampsia who has shut her curtains - the nurses only realised she had a stroke because she’s fallen out of bed. After that we weren’t allowed to shut our curtains at night.
It’s likely you both fought out of tiredness and stress. You both need to give your heads a wobble. Draw a line in the sand, forget these recent arguments and pull together as a family to bring this baby into the world in love.
Please ring him and say you need him home but don’t argue with him as that will raise your blood pressure and could cause complications.

You kicked him out

You need to ask him back

@bluedomino

Honestly, if he able to treat you like this when you are ill and about to give birth, then you are so much better off without him. He's leaving you alone with small children to do all the grunt work whilst pregnant so he can live the single life. Hes training you as from now on you will be worried if you argue he will leave. Please don't allow any man to treat you like this and kick him out. You will never be secure. Do you have any family around for support? Have you told them what he's done? Good luck with your new baby.

It's kind of like a threat. Give me any sh*t again and I'll leave like I did last time.

Your health and the health of your baby is at risk. Don’t argue about stuff fine temporary solutions. Eat off paper plates or whatever if dishes aren’t done. Just get through this week until your baby is born safely and your blood pressure comes down.

@MrMrsJones

What an easy way for him to get out of helping you with the younger children, leave you sorting them out while he has fun with his brother.

You should have gone to your parents, friends and left him to deal

He's done what she demanded he did, why is it now all his fault, apart from the fact he's male? The OP will need to ask him to return and next row not tell him to get out!

I don’t understand why you’re sitting in a house with no food in the cupboards, waiting for him to mention dinner because you “haven’t eaten all day”. Seriously?

Why are you going without food all day?
When did he get so useless?
Can you get a supermarket delivery? Ubereats (and other similar apps) does supermarket deliveries within minutes.
Could someone else take you shopping?

Seems like you’re repeatedly testing him (and he’s repeatedly failing), but seriously, at least take control of the food situation, for your kids’ sake if nothing else.

@neverendingwashing Op are you me and iv been writing in my sleep?

Really feel for you, it's absolutely shit being in this position I'm also having a c-section and dreading relying on my DH for 6 weeks hope he steps up a bit for you

What does he do around the house?

Ffs, the poor woman is alone with her children, 39 weeks pregnant with pre eclampsia, the selfish cunt shouldn't need to be told to return.

@JudgeJ I regularly tell my DH to go and F himself when we argue but he doesn't do it

If he was helping in the first place they wouldn't have been arguing.

Why are you sitting hungry with no food, do you not have any money?

In real life, most decent men would say “don’t be ridiculous” at being asked to leave in these circumstances

@NancyDrooo

I don’t understand why you’re sitting in a house with no food in the cupboards, waiting for him to mention dinner because you “haven’t eaten all day”. Seriously?

Why are you going without food all day?
When did he get so useless?
Can you get a supermarket delivery? Ubereats (and other similar apps) does supermarket deliveries within minutes.
Could someone else take you shopping?

Seems like you’re repeatedly testing him (and he’s repeatedly failing), but seriously, at least take control of the food situation, for your kids’ sake if nothing else.

I also agree with this.

I'm not going to share my alone and pregnant story for fear of being told it's not a race to the bottom, so I'll just say I know how hard this is, but surely if he's that unreliable then you'd get some shopping delivered?

But this is repeated. So it doesn’t sound like a pregnancy thing,

I don’t understand why it gets to thr stage you’ve no food to feed you and the kids and you are all sitting hungry like this?

@Liamgallaghersparka

Ffs, the poor woman is alone with her children, 39 weeks pregnant with pre eclampsia, the selfish cunt shouldn't need to be told to return.

Quite.

Some people are taking their strange need to always attack an OP, regardless of the situation, to extremes.

She’s pregnant, with preeclampsia, at full term, suffering with SPD, with children in her care, and a useless husband who begrudged her a lift to the hospital for her life-threatening condition. How can they still feel ok to leave shitty posts?

Seems like you’re repeatedly testing him (and he’s repeatedly failing)

Quite. Stop playing games and talk to him.

He is an adult OP, not a child or a robot! He shouldn’t wait for you to tell him to come back even if you told him to leave. You are pregnant and an argument increased stress and blood pressure, you need minimum stress atm to get through this pregnancy. I guess it also depends on how much you’ve put up with over the time you’ve been with him, he he ever left for more than a day before, when you’ve had an argument?

@NancyDrooo

I don’t understand why you’re sitting in a house with no food in the cupboards, waiting for him to mention dinner because you “haven’t eaten all day”. Seriously?

Why are you going without food all day?
When did he get so useless?
Can you get a supermarket delivery? Ubereats (and other similar apps) does supermarket deliveries within minutes.
Could someone else take you shopping?

Seems like you’re repeatedly testing him (and he’s repeatedly failing), but seriously, at least take control of the food situation, for your kids’ sake if nothing else.

This puzzled me as well. He sounds like he has checked out of family life and any responsibility towards you and your family. Please accept your mum's help.

I hope all is well with the baby.

He didn't want to drive his heavily pregnant wife suffering pre-eclampsia to the hospital?

He's a pig. That is foul.

Agree with PP, most men would say to their wives that they are being ridiculous at this point in the pregnancy. In fact mine did and I had a normal pregnancy and said sorry for whatever it was and calmed me down because I was carrying his child and at 39 weeks, the health of woman and child is priority.