How do you imagine the average Mumsnetter to be?

[mycatisannoying]

• Sensible
• Sensible clothing
• Frugal with money
• Disapproving of trivialities, such as spending too much on Christmas presents or cosmetics
• Assertive
• Will say 'no' for the sake of it sometimes
• Uncompromising
• Very high expectations in relationships
• Intelligent

Any others?

@TheHoptimist don’t forget the left school at 16 but some how manages to become a CEO with a £50K+ salary

@Vampirethriller

Certain posters I always picture as the posh woman in the Catherine Tate sketches.

75% of posters probably fit this character!

There are different types.
The ones who say things like 'ask someone you trust to explain it to you' 'no is a complete sentence' and 'you sound very insecure/controlling' wear old joggers and fleeces have unwashed hair, hard faces and down turned mouths. They complain all the time, and their lovely families are scared of them.
The ones who make me laugh out loud with their wit wear stylish trendy clothes that look great on them, have effortlessly fabulous hair, live in cool flats or quirky terraces, and have strong regional accents.
The ones who write thought provoking posts, treat people with courtesy in debate and challenge uncalled for nastiness have warm faces, short silver hair, wear bohemian clothes and have adult DC who adore them and go backpacking with them.
The ones who say things like 'it would be different it's a man were asking' 'the double standards on here are shocking' and 'women can be like that too' are 5 feet 8, live in their mothers spare room, wear nylon shirts and are called Bernard.

A random woman on her lunch break scrolling the time away

@WetLookKnitwear that’s me !

[quote TonyBlairsLover]@TheHoptimist don’t forget the left school at 16 but some how manages to become a CEO with a £50K+ salary[/quote]
I forgot the new Mumsnet trend- I am a non executive director - meaning you are a school governor.
I do charity work- you are on the PTA.
I have a housekeeper- you have a cleaner 2 house a week from agency. (but she changes the sheets and unpack the Ocado order - still not a housekeeper). I have visions of all these cleaners being told to leave the cleaning and just wait for Ocado so that the Mnetter can claim they have housekeeper

Bit of cunt but doesn’t see it herself.

The ones who say things like 'it would be different it's a man were asking' 'the double standards on here are shocking' and 'women can be like that too' are 5 feet 8, live in their mothers spare room, wear nylon shirts and are called Bernard.

😂😂

Cant forget the hobby that is sooooo niche no one can say it

@VampireMoney Tbf there is a lot of double standards on mumsnet

@TonyBlairsLover you're not wrong, in fact I'm always banging on about double standards. But I'm not called Bernard, promise!

Average? Nothing on mumsnet is ever average!!!!!

MILs - either fantastic or the evil/abuse & seeking NC

Income - skint or rich, no one is doing ok

Sex drive - again, has no sex drive or massive sex drive

Confidence- none or loads

Children - either fantastically above average academically, professionally, sporty, etc or a major disappointment

Weight - ideal BMI with a perfect figure or massively overweight. No one has just a stone or dress size to lose

Stepmums - no one admits, they handling it day to day, they are either excellent at it or their steps kids are horrors

Husband- either divorced him or he's amazing. Doesn't satisfy them in bed or is a sex pest.

Everything is extreme. Never average.

*43 with 2 young DC.
*Drinks casually throughout pregnancy
*High income tax bracket
*Thinks anyone having children under the age of 30 is irresponsible / a waste of a life
*4 bedroom house with a nanny that they don't like and a cleaner they think is lazy
*would shudder at the thought of eating more than a salad and Jacket potato for dinner.
*thinks their toddler is extremely gifted and talented

@VampireMoney

Can some explain what hollow legs is

Mousy brown shoulder length hair. Uptight. Easily shocked. Professional job, lovely house in a posh area. No real sense of what life is like if you're not wealthy.

@NeedleNoodle3

41 2 young DC with a 3.5 year gap Works 4 days a week Married with a joint income of 68k Holidays in cottages Hates Dubai Only accepts about 25% if social invites All one length shoulder length hair

@NeedleNoodle3 hahaa so specific but so true! I hate Dubai

Mid 40s.
Kids are 8 and 11. Boy and girl. They never fight.
Glasses. Short dark hair. Wears cardigans. (Multiple at once due to the increasing cost of living.)
Husband works long hours and away at weekends.
NC with mother and not keen the in-laws either due to a long standing argument from when her first child was 2.
Says no to things and people just because.
Rarely goes out to social events.
Loves politics and only watches the news.
Surrounded by batch cooked freezer meals made from one chicken.

@shrunkenhead

Will shop in Waitrose/weekly Ocado delivery Goes to the gym Eats healthy Looks after herself, regular hair salon visits, waxing etc Educated to at least degree level Holidays 3 times a year (usually the Algarve, Cornwall and Centre Parks with her yummy mummy chums and their kids) Breastfed children well beyond 6 months Happily married to a high earning husband Furniture from John Lewis Interior decor Farrow and Ball

This is basically me except the regular gym and salon visits, sadly

Size 16
pendulous breasts that were once pert
Best friends with the vicars wife
Thinks Gerald should be back from golf soon ,she hopes he has won as he has a terrible mood if he has lost.Keeps quiet but walks on eggshells til she knows.
Freigns happiness and contentment but secretly suffering from being trapped by age and simmering with resentment at the youth
Tries to change her boring unforfilled life by buying endless Laura Ashley prints and tops from Joules
Would love to be ravished and locked away in bed for a passionate afternoons sex but unwilling to compromise her comfy marks and spencer bra and briefs (unmatching!) and ruffle the sheets as she has guests on the weekend,Laura and Roger who they met on a hiking holiday 20 yrs ago and can;t seem to shake off
Dutifully allows herself to be dumped on by everyone as she cannot say no and they know it,
Goes to the garden center every sunday for a coffee not a lot else to do now the kids are gone.
Makes quiche
Adores her inlaws (like fuck!)
Sits back and smiles whilst he cuts the lawn and washes her car,,every saturday afternoon now thats real love she thinks, doesn;t mind his lack of bedroom skills or temporary impotence or boozy snoring after a wine or two in the evening with dinner as he works very hard and will never mention his bald spot getting a bit bigger
Always on a public diet..never looses weight due to the 11 am hobnob treat
Makes a lovely roast dinner,never chips,always proper potatoes and sweat;s into her carcus gravy but nobody says anything cos she tries so hard
Likes a low heel or a wedge
wonders why she was never lucky enough to have a double barrelled surname..she did think about it after the wedding but it wasn;t right but now she thinks she could just slip it in to strangers she might meet

Wears a lot of supermarket clothes. Votes conservative because there was no other option. Passionate about helping the Ukraine crisis but never shown any interest or worry in any other war or humanitarian cause. Clapped enthusiastically for the nhs during lockdown. Hates the clothes at toast and cos because they are shapeless but only hates them because she doesn’t understand them. Wants every woman on mumsnet to leave her husband. Hates women who complain about motherhood.

@TonyBlairsLover

Can some explain what hollow legs is

Usually used to describe someone who can eat loads but not gain weight, often used when referring to a teenage boy. This is true of my teenage boy 😂

@tunainatin

Female
Mid 30s
Dark shoulder length straight hair
Slim
Bretton top
Skinny jeans
Cool trainers
On maternity leave from a professional job
Nice car and healthy disposable income.
I know that's rubbish but that's what comes to mind!

🤣literally me except I'm not on mat leave, and my dh drives the nicer car

Plump (not 'fat' but yes plump), white, London-resident, anywhere from 21 to 71 yo. Their children are always above average. Uptight as fuckery. Very houseproud obsessed with cleaning & meal planning.

Passive aggressive control freak, basically.