How do you imagine the average Mumsnetter to be?

[mycatisannoying]

• Sensible
• Sensible clothing
• Frugal with money
• Disapproving of trivialities, such as spending too much on Christmas presents or cosmetics
• Assertive
• Will say 'no' for the sake of it sometimes
• Uncompromising
• Very high expectations in relationships
• Intelligent

Any others?

I’m on mumsnet and I don’t think anything describes me yet! 😂

I love big salads. Other than that I don't fit any of these profiles at all!

I think they all want to think of themselves as Amanda from Motherland but the rest of the world views them as Anne.

Proper grown ups with savings, mortgage nearly paid off and a ‘retirement plan’.

Tidy houses. Care a lot about their homes and home improvements.

All the things I struggle with, basically!

I think they all want to think of themselves as Amanda from Motherland but the rest of the world views them as Anne.

🤣 indeed

5 pages in and no one has said we only buy naice ham (the thick slices of dry cute stuff, not the slimy reformed stuff that the kids much prefer to eat)

Had been taken up the Shard by DH at least once

Has a nanny (who she dislikes)
DOESN'T wear skinny jeans
Dyes her hair at home - but cut at the hair dressers
Children sat rear facing in the car until they are 8 years old
One of her cleaners stole something from her (possibly earrings)
Will admit to shopping at Boden, but claims the items were on sale

@NeedleNoodle3

41 2 young DC with a 3.5 year gap Works 4 days a week Married with a joint income of 68k Holidays in cottages Hates Dubai Only accepts about 25% if social invites All one length shoulder length hair

Hahaha that's me. But I am divorced :D

I’ve got a few Asian and Muslim friends who are all on mumsnet. Bet that throws the averages off.

My background would too.

Two parent household
Two children
Two nannies
Two cars
Two stone underweight
Too nosey
Too bossy
Too opinionated
Too much money coming out of her ears
Too many tears running down her face

Wears levi jeans and similar, supermarket brands are beneath her,
No leggins/trainers unless in the gym,
Used to go to hairdressers for colours done but now is embracing the grey.

@VampireMoney

Goes to a spa if their husband has pissed them off

I misread that as ‘goes to a spa if their husband has pissed themselves’. I’m sure that’s happened. I remember quite a few threads of drunk partners pissing themselves, the bed or the closet.

[quote hobbledyhoy]@tiddlywinks2

A penis cup on the bedside table? I'm very intrigued. Is this a MN prerequisite I'm not aware of? [/quote]
If I remember correctly it was a couple who kept a cup of water on the bedside table to wash his penis after sex the OP thought everyone had a penis beaker and couldn’t believe not everyone did this ingenious little hack. Might have lost half the story there and suppose this is how whispers start on Mumsnet haha. But yes the original thread is legendary on MN.

Some of these things chime with me but some of them really don’t!

Funny

Oh yes everyone has a penis beaker don't they? 😂

Mix between Julia and Amanda! Always have even before Motherland 🤣

I think there are two types of typical MNer.

Type 1:

• Has 2.4 children, a DH and a dog
• Lives in a nice house
• Earns shedloads but feels a bit poor
• Wears Boden, Joules, Kite etc.

Type 2:

• Has multiple DC with SEN
• Lives in unsuitable rental accommodation
• Has a job but relies up UC and the food bank to make ends meet
• Has no money for non-essentials. Even the essentials are unaffordable at the end of the month.

Both are well educated and have strong opinions.

Won't answer the door. Is anxious.
Won't host play dates. Is anxious.
Won't readily agree to have guests to stay, or worse still, DH's family. Is anxious.

@VampireMoney 😂

I don't think anxiety is anything to joke about.

Hates tattoos, that's another prerequisite of MN right? And drinks Prosecco.

It's a wonder I'm allowed an account, I'm covered in tattoos and have never tasted Prosecco 😂

feel like everyone is like giovanna fletcher but less famous with a job in accountancy or solicitor 4 days a week. I.e attractive but thinks too much makeup/spray tan/spending a lot of time on yourself is not classy. Drives a large car but recycles and buys sustainable cotton clothing for 2x small children called Tabitha and Arlo (trendy but not too unique names). Shops in waitrose but sometimes ventures into lidl or aldi. Uses reusable Nappies. Never been to home bargains. Lives in the south east. Has a cleaner but never mentions it

Ok if I suspend reality and class myself as attractive this is me

@ForeverLooking

Funny Sarcastic Intelligent

Informed

-Average sized and height
-Radical feminist
-Has sons that are over 6”6, ‘hollow legged’ and are at peak physical form where they need to consume 10 packets of sausages a day

• penis beaker
• thinks Tony Blair is the literal DEVIL

Left school at 16
Married the 45 year old boss when deliberately accidentally pregnant at 22
Hate his ex wife- she got the house (that she paid for because turns out he is flaky and sleeps around)
Doesnt work because 'we are high earners' but in reality they are far too superior to the the job in Tesco inline with previous work experience and qualifications.

Husband looking for model 3.