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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Washing my horse

164 replies

Pimpmypony · 29/03/2022 18:03

I have a horse I hate grooming, especially when he's muddy. A friend has a mobile horse washing business and does the equivalent of dog grooming for horses. I booked her to come and wash my boy, and DH has thrown an absolute fit at the waste of money, claiming that because I "don't work", (I am SAHM) it's not for me to waste money on "frivolities".

FWIW, it has led to a row between DH and I, because he has told me that the allowance he gives me is not to be wasted on stuff I can do myself. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not - I don't consider it any different to paying a dog groomer or a cleaner to provide a service. DH says that it's a total piss take and waste of his money.

I gave up my job to support his career, as he works long hours, hence being a SAHM. My horse is my only hobby/indulgence. Who is right here?

OP posts:

Wheniruletheworld · 30/03/2022 10:22

So you would need this mobile groomer every day because horses need grooming every day

Do you really want the whole horse thing as it soulds like it's too much of a faff for you - why not just go to a local stables/riding school, ride then leave? No grooming/washing required

incognitoforthisone · 30/03/2022 10:37

I would say if your husband 'gives you an allowance' then you can do what you want with it. I don't think paying for a horse groomer is any more frivolous than keeping a horse in the first place.

mocktail · 30/03/2022 11:14

Putting the horse stuff to one side for a moment....

If your husband gives you an allowance, and he gives himself one too, then I think that's fair enough. Then the rest goes on bills, savings, etc. Is that what happens or does he get to spend a lot more than you because he's the earner?

What you do with your allowance should be entirely up to you - as a previous poster put it so well, the money you both have/earn is joint money, your allowance is then your own personal money. If you want to spend it on hairdressers, clothes, horses, other hobbies, whatever, that needs to be up to you.

Saddlesore · 30/03/2022 12:16

Putting you relationship with your DH to one side... I can't get over your relationship with your horse. I have been a horse owner my whole life and grooming is an essential part of building up trust between horse and rider. I think it's selfish to just dismount and walk away. Grooming your horse after a ride has so many purposes: as well as the cleaning, it gives your horse a lovely massage after its exercise and it allows you to pick up on any tender spots (saddle sores, burrs, cuts or swelling) before they get any worse. Cleaning out its hooves after a run will also let you see what state the shoes/nails are. You say that your horse is your indulgence - do you ever think to indulge it????

debwong · 30/03/2022 12:22

Could you save money by putting your horse on board your yacht and getting them both washed at the same time?

KenAdams · 30/03/2022 13:32

How old are your children OP?

Bookworm20 · 30/03/2022 13:33

@debwong

Could you save money by putting your horse on board your yacht and getting them both washed at the same time?

Monsteres · 30/03/2022 14:54

Yeah sorry this is just plain laziness! Getting someone to come in and clip your horse for you is fine but being too lazy to run a brush over them to me would mean you probably shouldn't have a horse? (I'm a groom so 💁🏼‍♀️)

Giraffesandbottoms · 30/03/2022 15:41

@CaptainThe95thRifles and @Saddlesore

I totally agree!

MrOllivander · 30/03/2022 18:10

@Monsteres

I dunno, when my horse jumped out the field in winter and was already muddy, then proceeded to coat himself ear to tail in cow shit.. I would have paid VAST amounts for someone to fix that

I had to bring him in without touching him as there wasn't one clean part. Ended up hosing him and cursing

HELLITHURT · 30/03/2022 18:17

@debwong

Could you save money by putting your horse on board your yacht and getting them both washed at the same time?

Ridiculous comment, the unicorn gets washed with the yacht! No room for the horse!

Excited101 · 30/03/2022 19:31

Dsil has a horse, says it costs the best part of £700 a month to own one. I can’t believe shelling out even more than that on it, to have something done I was told lazy to do myself, if I didn’t earn any money myself and was a SAHM.

SpringsSprung · 30/03/2022 20:18

@RedScarfJamjar

Is it like a carwash? Does the horse walk through and come out with an air freshener on one ear? Or is it like a jet wash?

I'll come to the rest presently but those are my initial enquiries. Thankyou for your prompt attention on this matter.

Is it like a carwash? Does the horse walk through and come out with an air freshener on one ear?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This absolutely finished me off!!!! 🐎 🫧 🐴 🫧 🧼

RedScarfJamjar · 31/03/2022 10:01

that's how I imagine it now and nobody can convince me otherwise.

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