Washing my horse

[Pimpmypony]

I have a horse I hate grooming, especially when he's muddy. A friend has a mobile horse washing business and does the equivalent of dog grooming for horses. I booked her to come and wash my boy, and DH has thrown an absolute fit at the waste of money, claiming that because I "don't work", (I am SAHM) it's not for me to waste money on "frivolities".

FWIW, it has led to a row between DH and I, because he has told me that the allowance he gives me is not to be wasted on stuff I can do myself. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not - I don't consider it any different to paying a dog groomer or a cleaner to provide a service. DH says that it's a total piss take and waste of his money.

I gave up my job to support his career, as he works long hours, hence being a SAHM. My horse is my only hobby/indulgence. Who is right here?

Is there a budget line for horse-related expenses?

Or do you just get an ‘allowance’ for personal spending and you’re paying a horse washer rather than getting your own hair cut?

He’s being unreasonable to strop about ‘his money’ being wasted, but it’s an odd set-up really if you’re a SAHM to support his career but you have the time and opportunity to ride a horse regularly - presumably he’s around enough with the kids for you to spend time with the horse?

Anyway - if he’s a controlling arse about money you know that presumably, this can’t be an isolated incident. Or, conversely, you’re a spendthrift and the horse washing is the straw that broke the cash cow’s back.

Basically, I’ve no idea who’s unreasonable!

@Jimtheturtle OP has expressed no dissatisfaction at not working.
I just don’t get the vibe that someone who talks about their “only indulgence” ( 🎻 < actual size) being a horse, is financially abused and in need of WA.
She could be, sure. I hope she’s not. It’s not my impression from her posts.

Sorry I’ll behave.

In terms of the ‘allowance’ 🤦🏼‍♀️ where does the rest of the money go? So say your allowance is 10% of his income, does he control the rest of it?

Do you have a shared bank account?

How do you manage this?

"Allowance"!?

What the actual f

Are you the horse troll? I don't want to get invested like I did with the other horse threads.
I think yabu and could wash your own horse.

Is this a wind up?

Any true horse owner would know that a bath is not going to stop a horse needing grooming, plus you wouldn't do it yet because fields are still full of mud.

@speakout

Is this a wind up?

Probably, they've just accidentally wound up asking a forum with a number of horse owners on it a reasonable question.

I have a grey pony who lives out rugless. I hate grooming her and I have enough disposable cash to pay someone but it would never cross my mind to. I’m with your husband on this one! Although not at his attitude towards what you do with the money, he’s being a bell in that sense.

It’s not comparable to dog grooming because there is skill involved. Washing a horse is just water soap and elbow grease.

I paid someone to come clean my boys sheath recently,

Something I can do myself, something I’m defo paying someone else to do

Part of owning a horse is caring for it too, so if you’re going to own one, you should look after it yourself.

@AmyDudley

Does the allowance cover polishing his hooves every single day, and bringing him to the horse dentist ?

And shower him with sugar lumps?

So what are you allowed to spend your allowance on?

@Electriq my field isn’t muddy. It’s dried up this last week. But it’s raining now. FML. Rugs back on, clean body, muddy legs.

Also, I would pay someone to come wash my boy. In the summer. And only because I don’t have a warm water tap.

@BakedTattie I do and I also don’t want to know what sheath cleaning entails. Tell me more…

@Bananabutter

Part of owning a horse is caring for it too, so if you’re going to own one, you should look after it yourself.

Can you tell me what the difference is between looking after a horse yourself and paying someone to look after it for you would be? In real terms -- seeing as full livery exists and is used for a reason.

[quote BakedTattie]@Electriq my field isn’t muddy. It’s dried up this last week. But it’s raining now. FML. Rugs back on, clean body, muddy legs.[/quote]
Horse wellies. That’s how I’ll make my millions. Deborah Meaden would definitely go for it on Dragon’s Den.

Is it like a carwash? Does the horse walk through and come out with an air freshener on one ear?

more of this please

@AgentProvocateur Google it and make sure you select images 😈😂

@inacloud

I am currently baffled.

Seems quite lazy to be honest, I can see why he's pissed.

Dog grooming is different, they don't tend to just wash the dogs, they do their coat, clip them if necessary or give them a trim, maybe even do their nails. That can mean a disastrous look for your dog if you don't know what you're doing.

A cleaner again is different. I assume you have children so your days are spent looking after them mainly. So a cleaner can do jobs around the house for you.

Even a horse clipper service is fine, as clipping a horse again like dog grooming can make the horse look awful if done badly.

But horse washing? That is just lazy. You hate grooming, so what do you do if you want to ride? Leave him dirty? You'd need your friend round every day you want to ride really if you can't be bothered doing it.

[quote BakedTattie]@AgentProvocateur Google it and make sure you select images 😈😂[/quote]
You know on MN when people say “DO NOT GOOGLE” …

[quote BakedTattie]@AgentProvocateur Google it and make sure you select images 😈😂[/quote]
That's cruel 😂 but funny, do it!

@ExMachinaDeus

I have a horse I hate grooming

YABU for just this. Nothing to do with how much money you don't earn. It is lazy and bad for your horse to keep on washing it. If your horse is turned out with rugs and/or stabled, grooming is a really important thing for its health, and skin health.

Constant washing will damage & hurt a horse's skin, especially if its thoroughbred or part-TB.

This!!