Washing my horse

[Pimpmypony]

I have a horse I hate grooming, especially when he's muddy. A friend has a mobile horse washing business and does the equivalent of dog grooming for horses. I booked her to come and wash my boy, and DH has thrown an absolute fit at the waste of money, claiming that because I "don't work", (I am SAHM) it's not for me to waste money on "frivolities".

FWIW, it has led to a row between DH and I, because he has told me that the allowance he gives me is not to be wasted on stuff I can do myself. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not - I don't consider it any different to paying a dog groomer or a cleaner to provide a service. DH says that it's a total piss take and waste of his money.

I gave up my job to support his career, as he works long hours, hence being a SAHM. My horse is my only hobby/indulgence. Who is right here?

@comfortablyfrumpy ahh the nostalgia of a canvas rug. Held together with bailer twine.

If you're in London my daughter will happily come and groom your horse every day It's her favourite part of owning a horse

@ButtockUp

You have a pet, albeit a ride-on pet.

Why wouldn't you look after it yourself?

Yes people use dog groomers but that's usually for essential coat trimming , nail clipping and the like.
Dogs get muddy most days and you clean them when you get home.
Kitchens get grubby every day but you clean up as you go along, you don't leave a weeks worth of cooking detritus for a cleaner

Do you shit in the lav and leave it for a week for the cleaner?

Look after your own horse or, if you hate it that much, sell it to a family that would actually care for it and buy a share at a livery or a riding school where you could could ride and go.

I'm not even convinced this post is real.

Not in SE London.. it's all dog groomers.. dog walkers and doggy day care round here. I'm thinking of starting a dog feeding business as that must be such a chore, the last chore, for dog owners in this neck of the woods..

If you're old enough to remember them, you probably had proper canvas New Zealand rugs and jute rugs, and your hat was held on with elastic

Big heavy jute night rugs that I used to have help to patch by hand (child labour ), the TB had a fancy Lavenham (she was posh) but the cob had a canvas NZ, and I finally graduated to a hat with a proper chin strap after years of falling off with a hat essentially held on with a big elastic band.

Those were the days.

[quote BakedTattie]@comfortablyfrumpy ahh the nostalgia of a canvas rug. Held together with bailer twine.[/quote]
I forgot the bailer twine. You can plait it to make it extra strong.

@Pimpmypony

I have a horse I hate grooming, especially when he's muddy. A friend has a mobile horse washing business and does the equivalent of dog grooming for horses. I booked her to come and wash my boy, and DH has thrown an absolute fit at the waste of money, claiming that because I "don't work", (I am SAHM) it's not for me to waste money on "frivolities".

FWIW, it has led to a row between DH and I, because he has told me that the allowance he gives me is not to be wasted on stuff I can do myself. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not - I don't consider it any different to paying a dog groomer or a cleaner to provide a service. DH says that it's a total piss take and waste of his money.

I gave up my job to support his career, as he works long hours, hence being a SAHM. My horse is my only hobby/indulgence. Who is right here?

My God OP, he gives you an allowance like you're a 13 year old kid?! You are a SAHM to facilitate his career so he should be sharing that income with you, not giving you a bloody allowance, then acting like a weird parent figure going mad over what you do or don't spend it on. This is all kinds of messed up.

I've voted Yabu as you are so very very lucky to have your own horse!grooming would be a delight.(yes day in and day out)it's extra time to find with your horse too.
Saying your horse is your only indulgence is a bit silly as horses cost a lot to maintain so it's not just a tenner a week is it?😀
Oh you are so lucky.

@TheAbbotOfUnreason

FFS if you told me to jump off a cliff, would I? No! Of course not. So why oh why did I Google images of this, (whilst eating peanut M&Ms)??!!

I warned you.

Don’t Google dragon butter.

I did. I have no self control (hence the peanut M&Ms). Luckily the images were of a lovely red-packaged Welsh butter!

Luckily the images were of a lovely red-packaged Welsh butter!

You’re very lucky because it used to be the urban dictionary that came up first.

I'm horrified at the prospect of any horse owner who "hates grooming". Horses give us the gift of their compliance under saddle, they desperately try to do what we ask of them. The least they deserve is a rider who cares enough to lay their hands on them before and after a ride and feel how they react, how their bodies feel while they brush them off and handle them. 90% of horsemanship can't be learned in the saddle. It's one thing paying someone to scrape the mud off when they come from the field, but a flick / run over before you tack up and a wash off / leave to dry and brush off when you get back, and unless you're on super-posh livery, that's the rider's job.

Is this a creative writing exercise?

Pointless waste of money as it will only be muddy again the next time he goes out. I have a horse that needs very regular washing and I know what a royal pain it is. I have never heard of anyone paying someone to come and wash their horse though. I guess perhaps its no different to paying to clip, pull tail etc....

You should use the money to buy better /more rugs / hoods etc to keep horse clean long term.

@Somanysocks

Is this a creative writing exercise?

Given that OP hasn’t engaged for the last 4 or so hours I’d hazard a guess that this is a wind up.

It’s Easter holidays for the posh kids already.

@CaptainThe95thRifles totally agree. The daily grooming and working close to your horse builds the bond. Talking to your horse, scratching where they like it (I had one placid Connemara who would position himself exactly where he wanted to be scratched and brushed on his belly) glossing over where they’re ticklish, soothing them, checking their legs for heat and bumps - all of that is part of the daily grooming a horse needs, and a good owner-rider should give.

It’s about your relationship with your horse.

@HELLITHURT

I suppose he doesn't want to get saddled with the bill, so he's asking you to rein it in?

I'll get my coat.......

I think I love you ❤️😂

@CuriousMariette

I put mine in the dishwasher

😃😃

[quote ExMachinaDeus]@CaptainThe95thRifles totally agree. The daily grooming and working close to your horse builds the bond. Talking to your horse, scratching where they like it (I had one placid Connemara who would position himself exactly where he wanted to be scratched and brushed on his belly) glossing over where they’re ticklish, soothing them, checking their legs for heat and bumps - all of that is part of the daily grooming a horse needs, and a good owner-rider should give.

It’s about your relationship with your horse.[/quote]
Absolutely - it's the least a horse deserves for all they give us.

But also on a practical level, there's nobody better placed than the horses rider to link up what they're feeling in the horse's body when they groom / lay hands on the horse, and when they're riding it - recognising tension, one sidedness, asymmetry, a lump or bump or flinch against their hands is fundamental to the horse's wellbeing. Grooms may change from day to day and only have half the picture if they're not riding the horse.

Gosh, the OP hasn’t been back since posting their complete wind up of a thread.

Who’d have thunk it?

@Giraffesandbottoms

I’m so sick of owners who don’t groom/clean/look after their horses properly. The amount of owners who come onto a yard, saddle up and go for a ride without bothering with the care side. It’s just using the horse and totally one sided - if you don’t have time and can’t be bothered to clean their dock or look after them then ffs don’t have a horse.

I mean it depends... In winter sometimes it's a choice between riding or a perfectly clean horse! I will chip the mud off the important bits and groom girth/saddle/bridle areas. But then the horse sees mud as a spa day and is only happy when she's caked to her eyelashes in it If I have an hour then I'll use that to ride

Allowance?

@ExMachinaDeus

I have a horse I hate grooming

YABU for just this. Nothing to do with how much money you don't earn. It is lazy and bad for your horse to keep on washing it. If your horse is turned out with rugs and/or stabled, grooming is a really important thing for its health, and skin health.

Constant washing will damage & hurt a horse's skin, especially if its thoroughbred or part-TB.

Don't upset yourself, fictional horses don't need grooming🌸

If you're old enough to remember them, you probably had proper canvas New Zealand rugs and jute rugs

Oh god I can still feel the ache in my arms from carrying the damn things

@VeganVampire

I'd wait a few more weeks if I was you due to the cold and wet coming (misses the point of the thread completely).

My first thought exactly!

My horse sadly died last year aged 32. I was DIY at the yard and always washed her myself. Paid for clipping though. I enjoyed our bath time!