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Original poster

Friend asking to use swimming pool

839 replies

bakedbeansandgravy · 29/03/2022 16:20

a few years ago DH came into some inheritance and spent the money on a swimming pool We have always wanted one. Friends use it with us and all is good. However, my friend is asking to use the pool when we are due to be away in May. Access to the garden/pool is straight forward as we have a gate with number pad. However:

last time my friend used the pool when we were away (friend asked in advance) we came back to find the pool chemicals had not been done properly and the pool water was a lot lower than usual (can cause issues with the filter system). DH was fuming and it took him ages to get the chemical balance back.

To leave the pool heating on for my friend while we are away is going to cost us money. Money that could be saved from non-use by us while we are away but instead will be used/accrued by my friend. But I cant say we are trying to save costs ie the pool heating will be off while we are away and then turn it back on the minute we get home - if that makes sense.

I don't mind friend using the pool but it will cost us money (and I can hardly charge my friend), if we were here then the pool heating would be on anyways and last time my friend messed up the chemicals.

Any suggestions on what to do/say ?

OP posts:
MiddleAgedBlokeHere · 03/04/2022 18:12

Insurance doesn't cover the pool or accidents if you're not there.

Pawtriarchal · 03/04/2022 23:09

@LesLavandes

This post isn't worthy of any more posts. Sort it out legally and safely op and drop this post now
Ooh!
Friend asking to use swimming pool
Marztops · 03/04/2022 23:13

I would be way too worried about an accident happening on my property and the liability! It would be a no from me!

Ishacoco · 04/04/2022 12:18

I literally had a dream about this thread last night 🙈😂

In it, the pool turned out to be a hot tub 😂

TuxedoJunction · 17/05/2022 14:06

@bakedbeansandgravy - any update on your CF friend using your pool this month?!

Thehop · 17/05/2022 14:09

Hope you managed to say no OP

gamerchick · 17/05/2022 14:11

TuxedoJunction · 17/05/2022 14:06

@bakedbeansandgravy - any update on your CF friend using your pool this month?!

Heh, did you set a reminder? Grin

Bahhhhhumbug · 17/05/2022 14:15

yes l would love to know too, hope you didn't cave OP

Staffy1 · 17/05/2022 14:25

Why does she have to do the chemicals if she uses the pool? Usually you would do them weekly or regularly anyway, so were you planning to not do them when away if she doesn’t use it, or get someone in to do it? Either way, it would make no difference to her using the pool and not doing the chemicals.

TempName01 · 17/05/2022 14:33

If she uses it she will need the chemicals to be at a safe level, if she adds chemicals and fucks it up again the whole pool may have to be drained rather than OP topping up to the correct balance when she gets back.

CaveMum · 17/05/2022 14:40

Aww and there was me thinking the OP had updated when this reappeared!

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/05/2022 14:46

bakedbeansandgravy · 29/03/2022 16:35

thanks for all the replies, some good options here.

The pool maintenance was explained to her last time and she said she understood. When a hell of a lot of green scum started forming around the pool edges, I thought she would have realised something was wrong. But she clearly carried on using the pool. I have no idea how she managed to get so much water out of the pool. It was extremely low.

She massively takes advantage of me in many ways and I feel immensely pressured into saying yes. I'm weak and I know it and so does she.

Say no. Explain how much it costs to put right, say no and mean no. Say no, again, say no, mean no. Repeat no!

And change the keypad number.

Pu thte cover on it. Turn everything off. Do whatever you can to make the pool non operational.

But most of all, say no. And munical pools are available!

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 17/05/2022 14:48

Oh! I must have bookmarked page 5... didn't notice it was a one hit wonder Grin

Xenia · 17/05/2022 14:50

Just say no. It is not hard to refuse people things. Say as little as possible - along the lines of - "I am sorry. We cannot agree to that". There is no need to give reasons.

BlueMongoose · 17/05/2022 15:04

Im astonished by how many posters suggest tlling outright lies. If you have the guts, just say, sorry, no. If you aren't comfortable with being so direct, tell them the truth- that managing the levels and chemicals is tricky and when you have let 'people' use it when you're not there this has caused problems, so in future you have agreed not to let people use it when you're away. If they are rude/daft enough to press you and ask if they were one of those that did it, then tell the truth, and say yes.

Crankley · 17/05/2022 15:34

I suggest the simplest thing would be to say:

It's not possible this year. You have new house insurers and if anyone other than you or your DH has the code for the garden door, it invalidates your insurance.

If she finds an excuse and comes back to you or talks about her DD. Then you say:

I hope you're not seriously suggesting we go away knowing the house and contents are uninsured simply so 'DD' can have a swim?

Then ignore any future communication on the subject.

silverbubbles · 17/05/2022 15:38

Best reason is - Its has just been brought to our attention that insurance is nul and void for people to use it whilst we are away and husband has said it is not something that we can do going forward. perhaps we plan a swim when we return from holiday

godmum56 · 17/05/2022 15:47

zzzzzzzzooooooommmmmmmbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiieeeeee

SiobhanSharpe · 17/05/2022 15:50

Such a shame, I too thought the OP had returned from her May holiday and had some new info for us. ☺️

DangerouslyBored · 17/05/2022 15:56

shes a CF.

we have a pool at our holiday home and it’s so expensive to maintain plus it takes a lot of work keeping the chemicals balanced

just say it’s being drained and cleaned.

gotthis · 17/05/2022 15:58

I would get rid of the pool, it is very bad for the environment. It also sounds like a lot of work and encourages your poorer friends to ask for favours. Or maybe you could get rid of your poorer friends? I don't know, how the other half lives is a mystery to plebs like me.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 17/05/2022 16:00

Was also interested to hear what happened

diddl · 17/05/2022 16:24

I don't know why you'd even consider it Op.

You said yes once & she couldn't be bothered to look after it properly!

LookItsMeAgain · 17/05/2022 16:31

godmum56 · 17/05/2022 15:47

zzzzzzzzooooooommmmmmmbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiieeeeee

Technically speaking, not a zombie thread because the OP posted this:

I haven't yet spoken to my friend. She wants to use the pool in May, so we are a tad off the time she needs to use it. I will update when i have something to update with.

So, @TuxedoJunction posted wondering if the OP had an update on the situation.

CruCru · 17/05/2022 16:56

Staffy1 · 17/05/2022 14:25

Why does she have to do the chemicals if she uses the pool? Usually you would do them weekly or regularly anyway, so were you planning to not do them when away if she doesn’t use it, or get someone in to do it? Either way, it would make no difference to her using the pool and not doing the chemicals.

The more you use a pool, the more chemicals you usually need to put in (usually chlorine but sometimes other things). It’s the reason public pools sometimes smell so strongly of chlorine - lots of people using them.

Ill be surprised if the OP comes back at this point.

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