I had a baby 7 months ago. Yeah of course it's hard but honestly, it's easier than my job!
I didn't find it too hard and my baby sleeps. Even during during first 3 months, she'd feed every 4 hours and we got into a pattern of 12 - 4 - 8 am and 12 - 4 - 8 pm. It was fine.
I found the 4 month sleep regression/leap hard but it goes by so fast. You won't believe how quickly they grow.
And yeah date nights are kinda over but I don't want to go out, she's so little, I have no desire to leave her anyway and it's temporary! My Dh and I are absolutely fine sticking a boxset on and having our own date nights at home.
My DH and I love our baby so much, we laugh so much at the funny things she does. It just brought something completely new and fresh to our relationship.
I totally get what you mean because I had all the same stuff thrown at me when I was pregnant but the reality is - if you have a reasonable amount of energy and enough resilience to handle stress and a good partner - it's not that hard. I'm sure it could be with a high needs baby i.e a poor sleeper but it doesn't last forever and take support when it's offered.
Also be kind to your partner. Where I found a lot of people didn't do well it was with constant bickering. I know there are times when my DH would say - urgh I'm so tired and I really had to bite my tongue and not respond - 'you think you're tired!!!!" But it doesn't achieve anything. Simple phrases like - 'it's really hard isn't it' and little acts of kindness meant at least for my DH I got them back tenfold. If I said - yeah you look tired, it's really hard isn't it. He'd be likely to respond 'I don't know how you keep doing it, you're super woman!' Rather than getting into a bickering match over who is more tired.
The single best thing you can do for your baby is raise them in a happy household where the adults are laughing and smiling. I always think that when things get tough. DH and I arguing is only going to make it worse, never better.
Also, it can be natural to swoop in and take over but building Daddy up and letting him have his thing really helps long term. I had a c section so for the first couple of days I couldn't change a nappy and my husband had to. That became his thing. I would say 'you're much better with the nappies than me' - so now even 7 months later he jumps up for nappy changes because he feels good at it. Had I stood over and been saying - you're doing that wrong, he would have more likely defaulted the task to me - not out of spite just because he would have felt not good at it. So try not to nitpick. Again I only say this because it's something I struggle with but not nitpicking meant my DH felt so much more confident getting involved. Make sure you're in it together as a team. Bounce ideas, ask him questions, and talk things through. It's OK to look at your partner and say - I have no idea what to do here, and let them help you, ask them to Google something. The more involved you can get Dad, the easier it will be for you overall.
I have a friend who every time her baby cried she took her back from Dad. So now several months later every time baby cries, Dad passes the baby back and she resents it- but she set it up herself! If you can stop yourself and let Dad deal with a crying fit in the beginning you'll have a more equal approach to parenting. My DH and I talk about 'checking in' with each other. When my baby has gone through teething and collick and would cry, I'd poke my head round the door and say - you still OK and DH would say - starting to lose patience or give me a thumbs up and vice versa. If you can just let Dad find his own way it does help. My DD has her position for falling asleep on Dad that's different to how she falls asleep on me. We just found our own little techniques that work for us.
None of this advice might be applicable to you! But I know that I do nitpick. But we were lucky in that out of our friendship group we were the last to fall pregnant, so we saw things. I saw the ways my friends swooped in with their babies and the dejected look on the Dad's face. DH and I had front row seats to the spats. Dh would share with me some of the upset the Dad's were feeling and how pushed out and resentful they'd become.
So for us, we saw where the traps could be and were determined not to fall in them. The best thing we can give our little girl is a stable home environment with two loving parents who also love each other. So that's what we work towards always. I'm not saying we've never had spats, disagreements or even arguments but we try to keep the big picture in mind more often than not.
HOWEVER! I genuinely don't know how people have a newborn and a toddler! I can imagine that is really hard. I think alot of the comments about motherhood stems from the fact alot of people have multiple kids. We're sticking with 1! Haha.
P.s it can get boring. But as they get a bit older it changes. The monotonous nature's of the days dis start to grate around 5months but past 6 months it started to change.
Also get involved with as many baby classes, swimming, sensory and mums group, NCT etc as possible. It really really helps. Do NCT course. It was brilliant for us. When the baby is 5months just having those things in the diary - can feel like a lifeline. Just sitting in a room with Mum's of other babies the same age and you say - I'm so tired and they say omg I know and you swap stories - it can save your sanity and make you feel much less alone.
Also don't be fearful of your Health Visitor. I love mine and call her a lot with different questions especially around weaning.
Sorry for the long post!