He ate the soup ...

[Tdcp]

I'm really ill, I've had an annoying cough for a few days which today has turned in to a snot fest. I'm tired. I've had a smear test this morning which they've found a few issues with my cervix, I've dragged my arse to Asda, where I bought myself a tin of tomato soup. I drove him 15 minutes away for a walk and picked him and DD up after they were done, had a bath and thought.. I've not eaten yet, I'll go and have that soup.

He doesn't really like tomato soup, in fact I can't recall him ever eating any, that's why I bought one tin. He likes chicken soup which there's 3 tins of as well as other random flavours in the cupboard.

He ate my tomato soup. Ffs. I don't know if this is light hearted or not but after a string of bullshit I'm just a bit fed up right now.

@Tdcp

It's nice to see other perspectives on this if I'm honest. I never know if I'm over reacting or anything. I mean.. I barely reacted to this at all but the fact I've been busy all day and I feel like shit and he ate the one thing I wanted...

I bought my own mother's Day flowers and chocolate today as well. £5, flowers and £2 chocolates.

You've got bigger problems than soup then. You deserve better and should show him that you expect better and things have got to change.
Meanwhile send him out for more and I hope you feel better soon.

As pp’s have said this is more than eating the soup.
Do not buy him Father’s Day gifts just get dd to make him a card.

It's not really about the soup. It's about the lack of effort and the fact he really doesn't care. He should do nice things and offer to pick you things up from the shop, especially when your sick. I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who didn't care about me.

Honestly love just leave, you deserve better. This isn't about the soup.
A good partner would be putting their coat on and going to buy you another tin of tomato soup and some chocolates as soon as they realised their error

I once had dental surgery that meant I could not eat solid food for a week. I bought some yogurts and pudding cups. My DH had never eaten either during our 6 years together. However, when I bought them and it was the only thing I could eat, he decided to eat them all. Once I was recovered he never ate them again. I think it is a territorial power thing.

Even now, a decade later he cannot leave food alone if I say it is earmarked for something. e.g. if I buy biscuits for a friend that is visiting, he will ask if he can have one every hour before the visit, even if we have many other biscuits in the house. If I say he can have one he will eat the packet.

I really don't want to be here. I'm trying so hard to get a new job as mine is 0 hours and they're mucking me about but he makes it so hard for me. My nan gave me 2.5k last year to do whatever with (I don't have much) and it was in cash in the house because I wanted to know it wouldn't go on household bills. I found out that he put it in his bank account and he won't give it me back because we need to use it for moving house. I asked for it in my account because it doesn't make a difference where the money is as long as we have access to it but he won't give it to me. I wanted to train as a veterinary assistant and use the money for that, I really just want to do something with my life and I'm walking around with holes in my trainers whilst he buys whatever he wants. I got told off because I bought some chocolate bars for 65p. Sorry I'm just so done in right now.

@Tdcp

I really don't want to be here. I'm trying so hard to get a new job as mine is 0 hours and they're mucking me about but he makes it so hard for me. My nan gave me 2.5k last year to do whatever with (I don't have much) and it was in cash in the house because I wanted to know it wouldn't go on household bills. I found out that he put it in his bank account and he won't give it me back because we need to use it for moving house. I asked for it in my account because it doesn't make a difference where the money is as long as we have access to it but he won't give it to me. I wanted to train as a veterinary assistant and use the money for that, I really just want to do something with my life and I'm walking around with holes in my trainers whilst he buys whatever he wants. I got told off because I bought some chocolate bars for 65p. Sorry I'm just so done in right now.

Do you have family you could stay with for awhile?

I was already going to say what a wanker he is when you said He'd never go so I wouldn't even ask. but your latest update, that he has STOLEN from you, is utterly awful.

He has zero respect for you. I suspect you know this, and this is the tip of the iceberg. You deserve better OP

Do you have family you could stay with for awhile?

I don't have any body. My nan lives hundreds of miles away. I was going to go and see her in the Easter holidays hopefully but I can't stay there.

This is financial abuse op. He's stolen your money and your soup.

www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/protecting-against-financial-abuse#:~:text=Financial%20abuse%20is%20a%20form,look%20different%20within%20different%20relationships.

Can't stay there long term I mean. Well I could but DD and school etc. I've thought about moving away sometimes

Taking the soup is a dick move.
Taking the money is abhorrent.

He is an abusive cunt.

This is about so much more than soup. I expected a diverting my stupid husband thread, but this is awful. It's about control and taking things from you.

Sounds like communication is an issue. Why didn’t you say ‘I’ve bought a tomato soup to make me feel better’?

Move away. You have a right to that money and half of any joint assets. Use the money as a rental deposit and get your daughter away from him. You don't want her to grow up thinking his behaviour is acceptable and you shouldn't accept it for yourself either

How long was he out with your DD on a walk? You also had time to have a bath. He’s not the villain some pp want him to be.

He took your money op-when dh dad gave him some around 1k i said what do you want to do with it its nothing to do with me so its in a savings account

he had no right to take it like that hes abusing you

I would be making plans to make the move. Stay with your nan if she was okay with it and then rebuild your life. If that isn't an option start putting plans in place to leave. Stealing from you is financial abuse.

SORRY just read the post about your money from your Nan. That’s despicable/ and much bigger than soup-gate.

@countdowntonap

Er. Read the room. Yeah he is. In fact. He’s worse.

However irrespective of the OP’s latest update what does it matter how long he was out with the DD? It doesn’t mean he can (drink?) OP’s soup!

@countdowntonap

How long was he out with your DD on a walk? You also had time to have a bath. He’s not the villain some pp want him to be.

Yes he is. He's a thief.

He is horrible and as others have commented he is financially abusive.
You deserve so much better.
You dont need to accept this behaviour.
Please find out your local domestic abuse service and have a chat with them. He is financially controlling you and i bet he is doing other things too that are stopping you from living how you want to.
As your partner, the very least he should do is look after you when you're ill and make a bit of an effort on Mothers Day. Instead he has made your life harder and hasn't even tried to help you when you're feeling ill.

Upon reading your initial post I was going to leave a jocular remark.

However, having learned that he's taken your money, I'd be thinking very seriously.

He had absolutely no right to do this, whatsoever.
If you can then you need to insist that he repays that money.

I don't like throwing the'LTB' phrase around but I'd certainly be thinking long and hard about how you're to move forward in your life.
Do you think that he might have taken the money to prevent you from moving forward in your life?

Your life won't improve if you stay in this situation. Ask your nan if you could stay a while, you might be surprised. He's stolen your money, however, I've cut my losses in the past and maybe you need to as well. Don't live a shit life because there is so much better out there and you very much deserve it.