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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He ate the soup ...

480 replies

Tdcp · 26/03/2022 19:00

I'm really ill, I've had an annoying cough for a few days which today has turned in to a snot fest. I'm tired. I've had a smear test this morning which they've found a few issues with my cervix, I've dragged my arse to Asda, where I bought myself a tin of tomato soup. I drove him 15 minutes away for a walk and picked him and DD up after they were done, had a bath and thought.. I've not eaten yet, I'll go and have that soup.

He doesn't really like tomato soup, in fact I can't recall him ever eating any, that's why I bought one tin. He likes chicken soup which there's 3 tins of as well as other random flavours in the cupboard.

He ate my tomato soup. Ffs. I don't know if this is light hearted or not but after a string of bullshit I'm just a bit fed up right now.

OP posts:
Tdcp · 30/05/2022 09:41

Thank you everyone. I move in tomorrow :)

OP posts:
BackToTheTop · 30/05/2022 11:29

Fantastic news Flowers

Trudij123 · 30/05/2022 11:40

So excited for you!! And still so proud of you.

AryaStarkWolf · 30/05/2022 12:04

Great news OP, best of luck to you in your new adventure

HazelBite · 30/05/2022 13:34

Oh good luck for tomorrow I hope it all goes well!

comfortablyfrumpy · 30/05/2022 14:11

That's fantastic news, so pleased for you. Onwards and upwards! Flowers

picklemewalnuts · 30/05/2022 14:22

That's fabulous! What a roller coaster ride! Well done you, strong and determined you!

Pixiedust1234 · 30/05/2022 16:06

Tdcp · 30/05/2022 09:41

Thank you everyone. I move in tomorrow :)

Woot woot!!!!

I hope you block his number once you are in.

For your new house FlowersCakeWine

Whatwouldnanado · 01/06/2022 12:36

Op you've been in my thoughts but this is the first chance I have had to catch up. Wow. Just WOW. So, so proud of how far you have come. Keep going, don't get drawn back in to his drama and family issues. Hope you ate settling well into your new home. 🌺

billy1966 · 01/06/2022 13:19

So pleased for you.

Such bravery 👏👏👏

Snaketime · 01/06/2022 13:23

I have only just stumbled across this thread OP, but I have read everyone single one of your replies. I am so happy for you that you got the new house and hope the move goes well for you.

KettrickenSmiled · 01/06/2022 13:31

Congratulations on your new home OP & hope you are settling in beautifully xx

FusionChefGeoff · 01/06/2022 14:32

Fucking hell this is an incredible thread and you are one AMAZING woman!!!!

From a tin of soup to a completely new life in 2 months - you are a QUEEN!!!!

Scuttlingherbert · 01/09/2022 08:08

How are you getting on? 💐

billy1966 · 01/09/2022 09:29

I hope you and your daughter are doing well in your new life.

Tdcp · 08/11/2022 09:23

Hi everyone,

We're doing well, it's a complicated situation as exdp was made homeless as the landlady sold the house not long after I moved out so he has been staying with me for a while now. It's been fine though, he's doing the majority of the household stuff, dropping off and picking up DD from school etc.... giving me no shit which is great. We even managed a holiday with no drama. We're not together but we're co parenting well. His relationship with DD has come on in ways I never thought it would. It IS temporary though.

I go to work at 7:45 and get home between 5.30-6 so it's a long hog 5 days a week. My job is going well, I seem to be doing well and I have settled in and am now part of the furniture apparently! It can be stressful but I'm learning to stand up for myself in situations I would have cried over not so long ago, I'm doing things and dealing with people I could never have imagined. The pay isn't great but it is a good job and they look after you here.

DD's anxiety has settled loads, she does have bad days of course but she's almost a new child in that respect. She is probably autistic, I've always had suspicions but I'm almost sure of it now. It explains a lot and ex dp being more open minded to it now has helped loads. Our niece (14) tried to kill herself not so long ago and that has changed him in the ways he sees things as well.

Things will never go back to how they were before. The house is mine, my money is mine, he can toe the line or leave.

Thank you to everyone that was there for me during the dark times, I'm forever grateful for the support and advice I received. I'm a new person now.

OP posts:
Ivyonafence · 08/11/2022 09:25

Good for you OP!!!!

I have been rooting for you.

CheeseIsMyPatronus · 08/11/2022 09:43

I’m glad things are so much brighter for you. It’s great to hear your updates

picklemewalnuts · 08/11/2022 09:43

That's a great update.
I'm a bit worried he's lining himself up as main carer and needing support from you.
I'd move him on as fast as you can!

Tdcp · 08/11/2022 10:12

"That's a great update.
I'm a bit worried he's lining himself up as main carer and needing support from you.
I'd move him on as fast as you can!"

I don't need him, he's making things easier at the moment for sure, especially for DD, but I'm not in a place where I need him around. I have told him this also lol

OP posts:
Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 08/11/2022 10:25

Legally he could claim to be dd's main carer. He could apply for housing with that in mind. You could end up paying him Cms...

Tdcp · 08/11/2022 10:33

"Legally he could claim to be dd's main carer. He could apply for housing with that in mind. You could end up paying him Cms..."

He couldn't do that, he doesn't even know where her doctors is or how to top up the gas and electric.. I know I sound naive but there literally is no chance of this ever happening with him. He has tons of anxiety, he doesn't go anywhere or to see anyone, filling in the electoral role almost gave him a panic attack. Taking legal steps is beyond him in every regard.

OP posts:
EnjoythemoneyJane · 08/11/2022 12:13

Wow! So happy to hear from you (I posted quite a few times on this thread but have NC’d since). This is such a brilliant update, OP, and you genuinely do sound like a different person - you’ve really taken control of your life and prioritised your own and DD’s happiness. What you’ve achieved in such a short time is amazing.

Please take care though - people can change, and he’s obviously been rattled by your sudden assertiveness and independence, but be very wary of his motives while he’s under your roof. And really stick to your guns when it comes to him moving out again. Never forget that feeling of the scales falling and you seeing this abusive prick for who he truly is and realising the seriousness of what he did to you - and that he’d still be doing it if you hadn’t bought that tin of soup..

TheEponymousGrub · 08/11/2022 12:51

Have read the whole thread Tdcp and ...WOW! you are an amazing woman. I am so glad (and so impressed!!!) you were able to change your and DD's life so much! You deserve happiness and freedom!
Please be very careful not to let the slimebag slide back into your life. Does he have a date for moving out?

billy1966 · 08/11/2022 13:18

I am so delighted to read your update.

What a wonderful mother you are.

Many congratulations on finding your strength and voice.

Delighted to read you no longer accept any BS from him.

Every good wish for the future.

Use him for as long as it suits YOU and kick him out as soon as it doesn't.

You owe him nothing.

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